I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.