I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.


Will Rogers

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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby holds a hammer
WILL ROGERS
He's truly a renaissance individual for our times, ... I've likened him to a Will Rogers voice in Co...
FRANK CULLEN
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
WILL ROGERS
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
MARK RUSSELL
He [Will Rogers] was America's most complete human document. One-third humor. One-third humanitarian...
DAMON RUNYON
My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
ERMA BOMBECK
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
WILL ROGERS
which butchered my column. I feel like it never really appeared in L.A. before.
LIZ SMITH
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one sess...
WILL ROGERS
If a column is crying out for a good line and I can't come up with it, I troll for help. Communal hu...
ALLAN SLOAN
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
MORT SAHL
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as we do when the baby gets hold ...
WILL ROGERS
I had done quite a bit of research about math education when I spoke before Congress in 2000 about t...
DANICA MCKELLAR
I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at
CHARLES M. SCHULZ
The progress Mike Rogers bill is making in Congress is the closest we've ever been to letting states...
DAVID PALSROK
In a way, I'm like Will Rogers, never having met a man I really disliked. I'm not a vamp. I just lik...
DOROTHY STRATTEN
will be on the minds of every legislator when they come in for the next session.
LARRY GREGORY
Two years is one session of Congress, so it helps break that close network of friends.
CRAIG HOLMAN
Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are...
BRYANT MCGILL
Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are...
BRYANT H. MCGILL
CITAC congratulates Congress for repealing the Byrd Amendment. As recently as last month, many exper...
STEVE ALEXANDER
I don't write about my life in my column.
DAN SAVAGE
When I was living in the projects, I had a mop stick for my horse. I wanted to be Gene Autry or Roy ...
AARON NEVILLE
I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You ne...
FATTY ARBUCKLE
In a way, I'm like Will Rogers, never having met a man I really disliked. I'm not a vamp. I ...
DOROTHY STRATTEN
When your focus on earth is only on material things and earthly blessings you will never be satisfie...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ra...
ALEXANDRA PETRI
I wrote the music column in my high school newspaper.
EDDIE TRUNK
As much as the Pulitzer is the hallmark of journalism, I think what I love the most is when somebody...
REGINA BRETT
A man who can laugh at himself is truly blessed, for he will never lack for amusement.
JAMES CARLOS BLAKE
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
WILL ROGERS
The Will Rogers Follies,
HANK WILLIAMS
I just never fantasized about Mr. Rogers, but I like his whole vibe.
CATHERINE KEENER
My guess is the lateness of the session will be used as an excuse to just not stand up for it.
LARRY PELLEGRINI
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a...
FRANK MOORE COLBY
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to...
FRANK MOORE COLBY
On Capitol Hill Congress runs by an internal clock: Legislative days are not counted the way calenda...
RICHARD CORRIGAN
My entire family has been with the Congress right from the time of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. Congress...
SANJAY DUTT
For me, the Congress party is now my life, the people of India are my life, and I will fight for the...
RAHUL GANDHI
The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of gen...
KARL MARX
I've been going for two years and never missed a session.
ELLEN BEAVERS
The martyrdom of Lalaji has shaken the Congressmen. Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru is planning something s...
BHAGAT SINGH
I get up in the morning with an idea for a three-volume novel and by nightfall it's a paragraph in m...
DON MARQUIS
The acid test is that all paranoids and fundamentalists lack a sense of humor, for humor is a chaos ...
WILLIAM IRWIN THOMPSON
And one who is just of his own free will shall not lack for happiness; and he will never come to utt...
AESCHYLUS
Even after I was done (coaching), when Michigan City was merging (Elston and Rogers) into one high s...
DAN STEINKE
I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces.
IAN FRAZIER
When I first ran for Congress in 1998, people counted me out.
TAMMY BALDWIN
I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON
I've criticized Republicans for their lack of fiscal discipline when they controlled Congress be...
ERIK PAULSEN
The woman who runs will never lack followers
ASHLEY DUKES
He is going to start running my column, or a version of it, in September.
LIZ SMITH
We never give up until the legislative session is over.
MIKE MILLS
I think Canadians deserve better, ... I think if we, collectively as Parliamentarians enter this ses...
TONY VALERI
I wanted to be a columnist so badly that I took a huge pay cut to leave Forbes, which wouldn't give ...
ALLAN SLOAN
If I never meet you
In this life
Let me feel the lack
A glance from your eyes
T...
JAMES JONES
What's become a big theme in my music is my dad as a narrative character. I never had the opport...
K. FLAY
My father was in Congress when I was born. He was mayor my whole life from when I was in grade schoo...
NANCY PELOSI
I never really thought of it. I was bowling in a Tuesday doubles league and leagues for me I try to ...
LIZ JOHNSON
My favorite 'Mister Rogers' episodes were always the ones where Mr. Rogers would go into the...
FELICIA DAY
I write the shopping column. I think I've proven my superficiality.
PATRICIA MARX
I never pushed to be a star. I didn't want to. I had my home, my family. Session work let you do...
DARLENE LOVE
At the end of every sinful session, I look back at what i have lost and i say had i known, but now i...
STEPHEN .R. ANYAEGBU
A column about errors will contain errors.
BILL GOLD
Find Your Funny Bone . . .
Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. See...
SUSAN C. YOUNG
I'm a big fan of gallows humor. When my aunt passed away, she was in a coma for a day before my ...
AMANDA PEET
I usually come in for work. All the parties are for the fans. When the players go it is no fun and i...
JOE MONTANA
Like every American, I will never forget where I was on the morning of September 11, 2001. As a memb...
MIKE PENCE
When it comes down to it, it's one in the win column for the team. That's what really matters.
JON GARLAND
A column really works best when you really have something to say about something. I haven't had a gr...
JOHN TIERNEY
I wanted to be a columnist so badly that I took a huge pay cut to leave Forbes, which wouldn't g...
ALLAN SLOAN
I'm more interested in seeing what the material tells me than in imposing my will on it.
JOHN CHAMBERLAIN
The lack of health care coverage has remained very important to me during my time in Congress and as...
PAUL GILLMOR
She’s in my blood. I will never stop fighting for her,
AMY A. BARTOL
I worked at comedy clubs - if I can use the term 'work' - for several years. I middled at on...
BILL NYE
When I first ran for Congress in the 1990s, my background as an openly gay Asian was one of the foca...
MARK TAKANO
When I turned 45, I lay in bed reflecting on all life had taught me. My soul sprang a leak and ideas...
REGINA BRETT
When a board or body (in executive session) comes to a consensus and the public action is to rubber ...
CHRIS BEALL
Rogers is finding value in some unusual places.
CHRISTOPHER DAVIS
I think that will be a public policy question that will be on the minds of every legislator when the...
LARRY GREGORY
I never get bored of a workout, because I feel great after a session.
ESHA GUPTA
I feel there will be a time. A time when there will be no agony. I will never cry. There will come a...
ALEENA YASIN
A lack of desire is something I've never experienced. I'd have to
be on my deathbed before I st...
LISA KLEYPAS
An example of my average week would be the gym on Monday; Tuesday will be a technical session. I pra...
KATARINA JOHNSON-THOMPSON
We can't wait until Congress is in session next February to address next year's supply challenges, ....
LARRY CRAIG
I have never been a material girl. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love ...
IMELDA MARCOS
The day will come
When my body no longer exists
But in the lines of this poem
I will ...
SAPARDI DJOKO DAMONO
In most of the stuff that I've done over the years as a sideman, I wasn't really a session m...
DAVID SANBORN
Rampant corruption by the Congress and lack of development in the past five years are our main elect...
DILIP SAIKIA
You're asking us to give you lessons learned when class is still in session.
JOE FARMER
My father had lived in the States in the 1960s for a while and came to love American Songbook materi...
ANAT COHEN
Strength of character determines one’s will power. When a dream which looks impossible, seems poss...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
To middle-class Americans who have paid a great deal for the last 12 years and from whom I ask a con...
, JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS, FEBRUARY 17, 1993
But only if I believe that my directing talents will improve the material I'd be working on. I want ...
ANDRE BRAUGHER
Of course, any vote will be made in regular session.
JAMES CALHOUN
My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it'...
RICHARD LEWIS
As I get older, my sense of humor is my biggest asset.
DAVID ALAN GRIER
I work a little bit like a sculptor. When I start, my first idea for a building is with the material...
PETER ZUMTHOR
Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is read...
DAVE BARRY
I am deeply saddened by the loss of my children's grandfather and my very dear friend. I loved big J...
RODNEY CROWELL

More Will Rogers

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
WILL ROGERS
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
WILL ROGERS
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get...
WILL ROGERS
I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will g...
WILL ROGERS
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked abo...
WILL ROGERS
Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
WILL ROGERS
Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
WILL ROGERS
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
WILL ROGERS
We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
WILL ROGERS
Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS
I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Iv...
WILL ROGERS
I never met a man I didn't like.
WILL ROGERS
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
WILL ROGERS
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Cong...
WILL ROGERS
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS
It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
WILL ROGERS
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS
Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS
The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS
No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS
If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS
All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS
America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS
Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS
There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
WILL ROGERS
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS
There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
WILL ROGERS
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
WILL ROGERS
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
WILL ROGERS
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
WILL ROGERS
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
WILL ROGERS
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
WILL ROGERS
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoir...
WILL ROGERS
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- w...
WILL ROGERS
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS
Compared to them I
WILL ROGERS
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...
WILL ROGERS
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR C...
WILL ROGERS
My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
WILL ROGERS
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
WILL ROGERS
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
WILL ROGERS
The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal...
WILL ROGERS
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
WILL ROGERS
There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberat...
WILL ROGERS
A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at...
WILL ROGERS
The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
WILL ROGERS
The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
WILL ROGERS
Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
WILL ROGERS
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
WILL ROGERS
There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can ne...
WILL ROGERS
Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
WILL ROGERS
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS
Live so that you wouldn
WILL ROGERS
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
WILL ROGERS
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they c...
WILL ROGERS
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
WILL ROGERS
There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set. If you have los...
WILL ROGERS
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something ...
WILL ROGERS
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't...
WILL ROGERS
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
WILL ROGERS
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are to finishing it. You take Diplomac...
WILL ROGERS
I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
WILL ROGERS
This depression was deep, and you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.
WILL ROGERS
Lord, let me live until I die.
WILL ROGERS
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
WILL ROGERS
Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
WILL ROGERS
You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
WILL ROGERS
There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
WILL ROGERS
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
WILL ROGERS
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
WILL ROGERS
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
WILL ROGERS
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't ...
WILL ROGERS
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
WILL ROGERS
Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work
WILL ROGERS
In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in...
WILL ROGERS
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting ...
WILL ROGERS
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS
Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold
WILL ROGERS
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
WILL ROGERS
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS
All I know is what I read in the papers
WILL ROGERS
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
WILL ROGERS
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
WILL ROGERS
The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
WILL ROGERS
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on ...
WILL ROGERS
Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a croo...
WILL ROGERS
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS
Common sense ain't common.
WILL ROGERS
I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
WILL ROGERS
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every mor...
WILL ROGERS
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
WILL ROGERS
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.
WILL ROGERS
Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS
For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the po...
WILL ROGERS
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
WILL ROGERS
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each ot...
WILL ROGERS
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ...
WILL ROGERS
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutio...
WILL ROGERS
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it...
WILL ROGERS
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you...
WILL ROGERS
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
WILL ROGERS
A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...
WILL ROGERS
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
WILL ROGERS
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they do...
WILL ROGERS
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...
WILL ROGERS
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...
WILL ROGERS
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
WILL ROGERS
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then se...
WILL ROGERS
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
WILL ROGERS
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
WILL ROGERS
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United Stat...
WILL ROGERS
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
WILL ROGERS
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live o...
WILL ROGERS
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
WILL ROGERS
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
WILL ROGERS
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
WILL ROGERS
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
WILL ROGERS
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve...
WILL ROGERS
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
WILL ROGERS
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a Hous...
WILL ROGERS
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...
WILL ROGERS
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...
WILL ROGERS
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper t...
WILL ROGERS
I am not a member of any organized party--I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS
Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
WILL ROGERS
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
WILL ROGERS
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifu...
WILL ROGERS