I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.
Will Rogers
Related
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby holds a hammer
WILL ROGERS He's truly a renaissance individual for our times, ... I've likened him to a Will Rogers voice in Co...
FRANK CULLEN This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
WILL ROGERS This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
MARK RUSSELL He [Will Rogers] was America's most complete human document. One-third humor. One-third humanitarian...
DAMON RUNYON My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
ERMA BOMBECK If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
WILL ROGERS which butchered my column. I feel like it never really appeared in L.A. before.
LIZ SMITH If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one sess...
WILL ROGERS If a column is crying out for a good line and I can't come up with it, I troll for help. Communal hu...
ALLAN SLOAN I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
MORT SAHL This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as we do when the baby gets hold ...
WILL ROGERS I had done quite a bit of research about math education when I spoke before Congress in 2000 about t...
DANICA MCKELLAR I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at
CHARLES M. SCHULZ The progress Mike Rogers bill is making in Congress is the closest we've ever been to letting states...
DAVID PALSROK In a way, I'm like Will Rogers, never having met a man I really disliked. I'm not a vamp. I just lik...
DOROTHY STRATTEN will be on the minds of every legislator when they come in for the next session.
LARRY GREGORY Two years is one session of Congress, so it helps break that close network of friends.
CRAIG HOLMAN Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are...
BRYANT MCGILL Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are...
BRYANT H. MCGILL CITAC congratulates Congress for repealing the Byrd Amendment. As recently as last month, many exper...
STEVE ALEXANDER I don't write about my life in my column.
DAN SAVAGE When I was living in the projects, I had a mop stick for my horse. I wanted to be Gene Autry or Roy ...
AARON NEVILLE I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You ne...
FATTY ARBUCKLE In a way, I'm like Will Rogers, never having met a man I really disliked. I'm not a vamp. I ...
DOROTHY STRATTEN When your focus on earth is only on material things and earthly blessings you will never be satisfie...
SUNDAY ADELAJA I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ra...
ALEXANDRA PETRI I wrote the music column in my high school newspaper.
EDDIE TRUNK As much as the Pulitzer is the hallmark of journalism, I think what I love the most is when somebody...
REGINA BRETT A man who can laugh at himself is truly blessed, for he will never lack for amusement.
JAMES CARLOS BLAKE Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
WILL ROGERS The Will Rogers Follies,
HANK WILLIAMS I just never fantasized about Mr. Rogers, but I like his whole vibe.
CATHERINE KEENER My guess is the lateness of the session will be used as an excuse to just not stand up for it.
LARRY PELLEGRINI Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a...
FRANK MOORE COLBY Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to...
FRANK MOORE COLBY On Capitol Hill Congress runs by an internal clock: Legislative days are not counted the way calenda...
RICHARD CORRIGAN My entire family has been with the Congress right from the time of Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. Congress...
SANJAY DUTT For me, the Congress party is now my life, the people of India are my life, and I will fight for the...
RAHUL GANDHI The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of gen...
KARL MARX I've been going for two years and never missed a session.
ELLEN BEAVERS The martyrdom of Lalaji has shaken the Congressmen. Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru is planning something s...
BHAGAT SINGH I get up in the morning with an idea for a three-volume novel and by nightfall it's a paragraph in m...
DON MARQUIS The acid test is that all paranoids and fundamentalists lack a sense of humor, for humor is a chaos ...
WILLIAM IRWIN THOMPSON And one who is just of his own free will shall not lack for happiness; and he will never come to utt...
AESCHYLUS Even after I was done (coaching), when Michigan City was merging (Elston and Rogers) into one high s...
DAN STEINKE I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces.
IAN FRAZIER When I first ran for Congress in 1998, people counted me out.
TAMMY BALDWIN I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON I've criticized Republicans for their lack of fiscal discipline when they controlled Congress be...
ERIK PAULSEN The woman who runs will never lack followers
ASHLEY DUKES He is going to start running my column, or a version of it, in September.
LIZ SMITH We never give up until the legislative session is over.
MIKE MILLS I think Canadians deserve better, ... I think if we, collectively as Parliamentarians enter this ses...
TONY VALERI I wanted to be a columnist so badly that I took a huge pay cut to leave Forbes, which wouldn't give ...
ALLAN SLOAN If I never meet you
In this life
Let me feel the lack
A glance from your eyes
T...
JAMES JONES What's become a big theme in my music is my dad as a narrative character. I never had the opport...
K. FLAY My father was in Congress when I was born. He was mayor my whole life from when I was in grade schoo...
NANCY PELOSI I never really thought of it. I was bowling in a Tuesday doubles league and leagues for me I try to ...
LIZ JOHNSON My favorite 'Mister Rogers' episodes were always the ones where Mr. Rogers would go into the...
FELICIA DAY I write the shopping column. I think I've proven my superficiality.
PATRICIA MARX I never pushed to be a star. I didn't want to. I had my home, my family. Session work let you do...
DARLENE LOVE At the end of every sinful session, I look back at what i have lost and i say had i known, but now i...
STEPHEN .R. ANYAEGBU A column about errors will contain errors.
BILL GOLD Find Your Funny Bone . . .
Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. See...
SUSAN C. YOUNG I'm a big fan of gallows humor. When my aunt passed away, she was in a coma for a day before my ...
AMANDA PEET I usually come in for work. All the parties are for the fans. When the players go it is no fun and i...
JOE MONTANA Like every American, I will never forget where I was on the morning of September 11, 2001. As a memb...
MIKE PENCE When it comes down to it, it's one in the win column for the team. That's what really matters.
JON GARLAND A column really works best when you really have something to say about something. I haven't had a gr...
JOHN TIERNEY I wanted to be a columnist so badly that I took a huge pay cut to leave Forbes, which wouldn't g...
ALLAN SLOAN I'm more interested in seeing what the material tells me than in imposing my will on it.
JOHN CHAMBERLAIN The lack of health care coverage has remained very important to me during my time in Congress and as...
PAUL GILLMOR She’s in my blood. I will never stop fighting for her,
AMY A. BARTOL I worked at comedy clubs - if I can use the term 'work' - for several years. I middled at on...
BILL NYE When I first ran for Congress in the 1990s, my background as an openly gay Asian was one of the foca...
MARK TAKANO When I turned 45, I lay in bed reflecting on all life had taught me. My soul sprang a leak and ideas...
REGINA BRETT When a board or body (in executive session) comes to a consensus and the public action is to rubber ...
CHRIS BEALL Rogers is finding value in some unusual places.
CHRISTOPHER DAVIS I think that will be a public policy question that will be on the minds of every legislator when the...
LARRY GREGORY I never get bored of a workout, because I feel great after a session.
ESHA GUPTA I feel there will be a time. A time when there will be no agony. I will never cry. There will come a...
ALEENA YASIN A lack of desire is something I've never experienced. I'd have to
be on my deathbed before I st...
LISA KLEYPAS An example of my average week would be the gym on Monday; Tuesday will be a technical session. I pra...
KATARINA JOHNSON-THOMPSON We can't wait until Congress is in session next February to address next year's supply challenges, ....
LARRY CRAIG I have never been a material girl. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love ...
IMELDA MARCOS The day will come
When my body no longer exists
But in the lines of this poem
I will ...
SAPARDI DJOKO DAMONO In most of the stuff that I've done over the years as a sideman, I wasn't really a session m...
DAVID SANBORN Rampant corruption by the Congress and lack of development in the past five years are our main elect...
DILIP SAIKIA You're asking us to give you lessons learned when class is still in session.
JOE FARMER My father had lived in the States in the 1960s for a while and came to love American Songbook materi...
ANAT COHEN Strength of character determines one’s will power. When a dream which looks impossible, seems poss...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA To middle-class Americans who have paid a great deal for the last 12 years and from whom I ask a con...
, JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS, FEBRUARY 17, 1993 But only if I believe that my directing talents will improve the material I'd be working on. I want ...
ANDRE BRAUGHER Of course, any vote will be made in regular session.
JAMES CALHOUN My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it'...
RICHARD LEWIS As I get older, my sense of humor is my biggest asset.
DAVID ALAN GRIER I work a little bit like a sculptor. When I start, my first idea for a building is with the material...
PETER ZUMTHOR Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is read...
DAVE BARRY I am deeply saddened by the loss of my children's grandfather and my very dear friend. I loved big J...
RODNEY CROWELL
More Will Rogers
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
WILL ROGERS The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
WILL ROGERS I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get...
WILL ROGERS I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will g...
WILL ROGERS When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked abo...
WILL ROGERS Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
WILL ROGERS Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
WILL ROGERS There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
WILL ROGERS We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
WILL ROGERS Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Iv...
WILL ROGERS I never met a man I didn't like.
WILL ROGERS When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
WILL ROGERS Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Cong...
WILL ROGERS The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
WILL ROGERS In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
WILL ROGERS There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
WILL ROGERS Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
WILL ROGERS The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
WILL ROGERS Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
WILL ROGERS A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
WILL ROGERS Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
WILL ROGERS All I know is just what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
WILL ROGERS There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoir...
WILL ROGERS When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- w...
WILL ROGERS There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS Compared to them I
WILL ROGERS The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...
WILL ROGERS We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR C...
WILL ROGERS My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
WILL ROGERS Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
WILL ROGERS Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
WILL ROGERS The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal...
WILL ROGERS An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
WILL ROGERS There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberat...
WILL ROGERS A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at...
WILL ROGERS The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
WILL ROGERS The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
WILL ROGERS Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
WILL ROGERS We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
WILL ROGERS There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can ne...
WILL ROGERS Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
WILL ROGERS Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS Live so that you wouldn
WILL ROGERS The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
WILL ROGERS In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they c...
WILL ROGERS There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
WILL ROGERS There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set. If you have los...
WILL ROGERS Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something ...
WILL ROGERS Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't...
WILL ROGERS Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
WILL ROGERS Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are to finishing it. You take Diplomac...
WILL ROGERS I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
WILL ROGERS This depression was deep, and you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.
WILL ROGERS Lord, let me live until I die.
WILL ROGERS One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
WILL ROGERS Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
WILL ROGERS You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
WILL ROGERS There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
WILL ROGERS This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
WILL ROGERS With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
WILL ROGERS When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
WILL ROGERS Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't ...
WILL ROGERS If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
WILL ROGERS Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work
WILL ROGERS In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in...
WILL ROGERS Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting ...
WILL ROGERS You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold
WILL ROGERS You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
WILL ROGERS Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS All I know is what I read in the papers
WILL ROGERS Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
WILL ROGERS The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
WILL ROGERS The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
WILL ROGERS The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on ...
WILL ROGERS Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a croo...
WILL ROGERS Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS Common sense ain't common.
WILL ROGERS I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
WILL ROGERS The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every mor...
WILL ROGERS Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
WILL ROGERS I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.
WILL ROGERS Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the po...
WILL ROGERS Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
WILL ROGERS Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each ot...
WILL ROGERS All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ...
WILL ROGERS Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutio...
WILL ROGERS Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it...
WILL ROGERS A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you...
WILL ROGERS Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
WILL ROGERS A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...
WILL ROGERS Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
WILL ROGERS Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they do...
WILL ROGERS Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...
WILL ROGERS If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...
WILL ROGERS The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
WILL ROGERS What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then se...
WILL ROGERS Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
WILL ROGERS You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
WILL ROGERS Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United Stat...
WILL ROGERS Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
WILL ROGERS The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live o...
WILL ROGERS When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
WILL ROGERS A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
WILL ROGERS I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
WILL ROGERS Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
WILL ROGERS Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve...
WILL ROGERS Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
WILL ROGERS Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
WILL ROGERS Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a Hous...
WILL ROGERS If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...
WILL ROGERS Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...
WILL ROGERS If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper t...
WILL ROGERS I am not a member of any organized party--I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
WILL ROGERS An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
WILL ROGERS Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifu...
WILL ROGERS