Will Rogers quote: "I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Ive every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we cant confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on."

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
WILL ROGERS

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
WILL ROGERS

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
WILL ROGERS

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
WILL ROGERS

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get...
WILL ROGERS

I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will g...
WILL ROGERS

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked abo...
WILL ROGERS

Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
WILL ROGERS

Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
WILL ROGERS

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
WILL ROGERS

We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
WILL ROGERS

Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
WILL ROGERS

I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS

And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They do...
WILL ROGERS

I never met a man I didn't like.
WILL ROGERS

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds
WILL ROGERS

Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Cong...
WILL ROGERS

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS

It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS

Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS

Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS

Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
WILL ROGERS

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS

Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS

The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS

I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS

No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS

Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS

The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS

The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS

If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS

It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS

All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS

America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS

Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS

There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
WILL ROGERS

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
WILL ROGERS

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
WILL ROGERS

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
WILL ROGERS

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
WILL ROGERS

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
WILL ROGERS

Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
WILL ROGERS

All I know is just what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS

Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
WILL ROGERS

There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS

There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoir...
WILL ROGERS

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- w...
WILL ROGERS

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS

Compared to them I
WILL ROGERS

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...
WILL ROGERS

We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR C...
WILL ROGERS

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
WILL ROGERS

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
WILL ROGERS

Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS

I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
WILL ROGERS

The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal...
WILL ROGERS

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
WILL ROGERS

There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberat...
WILL ROGERS

A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at...
WILL ROGERS

The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
WILL ROGERS

The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
WILL ROGERS

Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
WILL ROGERS

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
WILL ROGERS

There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can ne...
WILL ROGERS

Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
WILL ROGERS

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Live so that you wouldn
WILL ROGERS

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
WILL ROGERS

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they c...
WILL ROGERS

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
WILL ROGERS

There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set. If you have los...
WILL ROGERS

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something ...
WILL ROGERS

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't...
WILL ROGERS

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
WILL ROGERS

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are to finishing it. You take Diplomac...
WILL ROGERS

I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
WILL ROGERS

This depression was deep, and you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.
WILL ROGERS

Lord, let me live until I die.
WILL ROGERS

One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
WILL ROGERS

Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
WILL ROGERS

You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
WILL ROGERS

There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
WILL ROGERS

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a h...
WILL ROGERS

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
WILL ROGERS

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
WILL ROGERS

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't ...
WILL ROGERS

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session ...
WILL ROGERS

Communism is like Prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work
WILL ROGERS

In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in...
WILL ROGERS

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting ...
WILL ROGERS

You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold
WILL ROGERS

You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
WILL ROGERS

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS

All I know is what I read in the papers
WILL ROGERS

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
WILL ROGERS

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
WILL ROGERS

The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
WILL ROGERS

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on ...
WILL ROGERS

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a croo...
WILL ROGERS

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people th...
WILL ROGERS

Common sense ain't common.
WILL ROGERS

I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it
WILL ROGERS

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every mor...
WILL ROGERS

Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
WILL ROGERS

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.
WILL ROGERS

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
WILL ROGERS

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the po...
WILL ROGERS

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
WILL ROGERS

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
WILL ROGERS

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each ot...
WILL ROGERS

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ...
WILL ROGERS

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutio...
WILL ROGERS

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it...
WILL ROGERS

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you...
WILL ROGERS

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERS

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
WILL ROGERS

A fool and his money are soon elected.
WILL ROGERS

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their...
WILL ROGERS

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress peo...
WILL ROGERS

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they do...
WILL ROGERS

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising a...
WILL ROGERS

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising ...
WILL ROGERS

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
WILL ROGERS

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then se...
WILL ROGERS

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERS

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
WILL ROGERS

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
WILL ROGERS

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United Stat...
WILL ROGERS

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
WILL ROGERS

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live o...
WILL ROGERS

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
WILL ROGERS

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
WILL ROGERS

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
WILL ROGERS

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
WILL ROGERS

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans
WILL ROGERS

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we neve...
WILL ROGERS

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
WILL ROGERS

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
WILL ROGERS

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a Hous...
WILL ROGERS

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, a...
WILL ROGERS

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplo...
WILL ROGERS

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper t...
WILL ROGERS

I am not a member of any organized party--I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
WILL ROGERS

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
WILL ROGERS

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifu...
WILL ROGERS

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every mor...
WILL ROGERS

Will Rogers

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