I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

Why are there no during pictures.

It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky...

One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit**, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like?'

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, It's cool, he's with me.