I remember Des O?Connor when he was white.

And the mountains may rise and fall, and the sun might wither away, and the sea may claim the land and swallow the sky. But you will always be mine. And the stars might fall from the heavens, and night might cloak the earth, but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.

I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

you could tell she wasn't a scrubber' - on Madonna