I responded to this development with the kind of sophisticated language for which I am famous. "Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid crap.
John Green
Related Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway! ANONYMOUS Crap. It's all crap. Living is crap. Life has no meaning. None. Nowhere to be fo... K-SKE HASEGAWA Cats crap in a box, humans crap in a toilet and politicians crap in Americans mouths. DONOVAN WILSON Generally, magicians don't know what to say, so they say stupid and redundant crap like, 'He... TELLER He was crap! CHRIS COLEMAN I hereby grant you permission to write crap. The more the better. Remember, crap makes the best fert... PAT PATTISON Holy crap, I’m scared.” “Holy crap, you’re human. You should be scared. JAMES DASHNER Dude, you're scaring the crap out of me,' said Nick. 'I'm serious, I literally have no crap right no... MARK FROST If you eat like crap all the time, quite frankly, you're going to feel like crap. JACQUELINE MACINNES WOOD Don’t crap where you eat BARRY LYGA Crap or get off the pot AMERICAN PROVERB I've been singing this crap since I was 16! MICHAEL BUBLE holy crap, what have I done? STEVE PALMER It's a bunch of crap. GIL HASKELL It scared the crap out of me, ... I immediately said, 'My God, I have to call a mandatory evacuation... RAY NAGIN He's not going to put up with any crap. TY VERDIN Climate change is crap. TONY ABBOTT The internet is an endless field of cow crap. To find the diamond amongst that crap you need to eat ... LLOYD S.R I'd probably crap my pants. HELEN DESTROY Most modern comedy is crap. ADRIAN EDMONDSON They confused me. I played like crap. KYLE ORTON I always thought communism was crap, really. ALEXEI SAYLE See the crap I have to listen too? BRENT NERBY Ninety percent of everything is crap. THEODORE STURGEON Neither one of them talks crap. DEREK KINDER Yoga is a load of crap. ELIZABETH JAGGER They sell crap to buy you. TOBA BETA Everything government touches turns to crap. RINGO STARR Sneezes scare the crap outta me. KRIS HUEN I've owned a lot of crap in my days -- rental houses and strip malls -- but we finally got this plac... DEBBIE ANTHONY White people scare the crap out of me. MICHAEL MOORE They're issuing crap at the speed of light. GREG AHARONIAN I don't give a crap about clowns. BLAKE SHELTON The first time I walked by a crap table, I felt kind of funny. CARROLL SHELBY So much crap passes as information that not only does the audience sometimes miss the distinction be... MORLEY SAFER The best reply to give a dumbass is to say nothing at all. TARY C. Dear, the man can't be eviscerated because he has no viscera. He's a walking colon. If you cut him o... DEAN KOONTZ After days of wading through crap, look to God. JOSHUA CLARKE I beat the crap out of the guy. It was delightful. DAVID LAWRENCE He beat the crap out of me, Like you? AARON RUELL We beat the crap out of Ole Miss tonight. CHARLES RHODES All you have to do is to look like crap on film and everyone thinks you're a brilliant actress. Actu... HELEN MIRREN Sweet mother of crap, what the hell has he done to my house?” Why did you never tell him to stop d... STACEY BALLIS Simple shit makes this chick crap bubbles and rainbows" -Beckett DEBRA ANASTASIA I'm tired of giving a crap, I think I'll take one. KRIS HUEN Dont follow your gut; usually it's full of crap. SEAN MAURICE HUNT I hate it. I hate taxidermy shops and all that crap. MICHAEL JACKSON The guy's softball team beat the crap out of me. WAYNE POLLET I think a lot of the stuff I'm playing now is crap. JOHN PEEL Double crap on a cracker the size of my butt JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet. KAMI GARCIA Life is a trap, if you believe in crap. PRAVIN PRAJAPATI There premise involves repeating idiotic crap over and over... AL FRANKEN There's so much crap talked about acting. BEN KINGSLEY Poison ivy and deer crap and rocks. Oh, my! DIA REEVES Doing this stuff is a crap shoot, there are no guarantees. JOHN NICKERSON We're just starting to hit the crap out of the ball. SHAWN SCOBEE Life's like a constipated dwarf; short and full of crap. JORDAN PETERS The movie is crap. It's not good. It is wrong. MELANIE MORGAN I work my hardest and she still kicks the crap out of me. PITTACUS LORE Don't worry, be crappy. Revolutionary means you ship and then test... Lots of things made the first ... GUY KAWASAKI Guys are like purses,Cute, full of crap, and totally replaceable. LUCY MILLER Holy crap. We're going to win this game. I can't believe we're going to win. STEPHANIE MILLER The people at the Chicago Tribune should be held responsible for this piece of crap, NEIL YOUNG I was fed up with this crap. I know that everybody that's here just wants something normal. HANK STAPLES Don't worry, be crappy. Revolutionary means you ship and then test... Lots of things made the fi... GUY KAWASAKI Whatever crap they were doing in New Orleans, they're doing here. ALVIN WRIGHT Any professional knows that the flute and the piano is a boring combination. All you've got to a... MORTON FELDMAN Thinking how every day is like tossing an egg. At any moment we may find our selves saying OH C... CHUCK BRIDGES If someone asks you why you're oppressing a world and you reply with a lot of poetic crap, no. I gue... ROGER ZELAZNY I wanted us to have an adventure. Because I love that crap. Because I'm not whatever-her-name-is. I ... JOHN GREEN I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on bla... TARA GILESBIE Why can't I just scrape that crap off and put it in a plastic bag? MONICA LEWINSKY Stress isn't about the amount of crap that enters your life, it's about the size of the shovel you u... E.R. ROCK It scared the crap out of me. I have never felt anything like it before. Well, yes I have, the 1994 ... SCOTT HANSEN We're protecting the crap out of me and it's really showing. Being able to get back there and make s... SHANE STAFFORD He didn't come here with all this national respect. He didn't have (crap) when he came here, and he ... CHAD GREENWAY I'm just so glad that 'can't-win-in-the-playoffs' crap is over. Gosh, I know how hard it is to succe... ARCHIE MANNING I hate all that woozy political and psychotherapeutic crap applied to books and art. DAVE HICKEY Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the crap out of me. KRISTEN STEWART She handles us very well, kind of like a mother figure. She doesn't take any crap. JAKE EDWARDS I shot a movie with Nicole Kidman that I got cut out of - it was crap anyways. Q-TIP Having your adolescence at an all-male boarding school is just crap. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH I've nothing against anyone following their dreams -- but not if they're crap. ROBBIE WILLIAMS You look like crap, prince. Did you miss me?" -Puck JULIE KAGAWA It wasn't fair, but what is? Life is a crap carnival with shit prizes. STEPHEN KING Never be afraid to tell these people crap. Well, you can always apologize. BHEKIMPILO DUNGENI I hate to hear 'Less is more.' It's a crock of crap. R. LEE ERMEY This is crap," Shaun said, withdrawing his arm. "Right," I agreed. "Absolutel... MIRA GRANT I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to. PAMELA ANDERSON Winning was like going on a crap holiday and coming back as Elvis. JOE PASQUALE Being PC is nothing more than perpetuating crap that a fallen world embraces. JAIME CONTRERAS Were a million people to believe in bullshit, it yet is just bull crap. FAKEER ISHAVARDAS When we cheat the process, you're rolling the dice and usually you crap out. PETER LAVIOLETTE There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an e... DAVID FOSTER I didn’t know if I could stop her with one blow. But I could whack the crap out of her. RACHEL VINCENT All the crap that we've encumbered our lives with, it's really meaningless. EMILIO ESTEVEZ The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap. AARON ALLSTON AIDS is an absolutely tragic disease. The argument about AIDS' being some kind of divine retribu... CALVIN KLEIN Next Big Thing -- you hear all that crap. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't psyched. CHRIS O'DONNELL
More John Green
Words are not static.Language shape our memories, and it is also shaped by our memories. JOHN GREEN The thing about chameleoning your way through life is that it gets to where nothing is real. JOHN GREEN That smile could end wars and cure cancer. JOHN GREEN You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened. JOHN GREEN Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, a... JOHN GREEN you can never love someone as much as you miss them. JOHN GREEN There's some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what. JOHN GREEN He liked the mere act of reading, the magic of turning scratches on a page into words inside his hea... JOHN GREEN Here's to all the places we went. And all the places we'll go. And here's to me, whispering again an... JOHN GREEN I think it's crazy, crazy that book tours lose so much money. They shouldn't. Book tours sho... JOHN GREEN I realize that humans lack good mirrors. It’s so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so ha... JOHN GREEN True love will triumph in the end—which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, it's the most... JOHN GREEN I'm sitting her thinking, -God, I swear I will take a vow of silence and move to a monastery and wor... JOHN GREEN Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Need... JOHN GREEN He called out to his fellow monks,'Come quickly I am tasting stars. JOHN GREEN Is it still cool to go to the mall?' she asked. 'I take quite a lot of pride in not knowing what's c... JOHN GREEN Van Houten, I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer... JOHN GREEN Do you have a Wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, The Genie Foundation, which is in the... JOHN GREEN Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,” I sai... 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JOHN GREEN the world wasn't made for us, we were made for the world JOHN GREEN Mom sobbed something into Dad's chest that I wish I hadn't heard, and that I hope she never finds ou... JOHN GREEN I fell in love like you would fall asleep: slowly and then all at once. JOHN GREEN I missed the future. Obviously I knew even before his recurrence that I'd never grow old with August... JOHN GREEN Come over here so I can examine your face with my hands and see deeper into your soul than a sighted... JOHN GREEN Gus: "It tastes like..." Me: "Food." Gus: "Yes, precisely. It tastes like food, excellentl... JOHN GREEN But it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he has Cassiu... JOHN GREEN I imagined the Augustus Waters analysis of that comment: If I am playing basketball in heaven, does ... JOHN GREEN I love you present tense. JOHN GREEN She loved mysteries so much, that she became one. 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JOHN GREEN That's why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates a adjecti... JOHN GREEN I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is ine... JOHN GREEN I wanted to know that he would be okay if I died. I wanted to not be a grenade, to not be a malevole... JOHN GREEN Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that i... JOHN GREEN If people could see me the way I see myself - if they could live in my memories - would anyone love ... JOHN GREEN We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either. JOHN GREEN I told Augustus the broad outline of my miracle: diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer when I was t... JOHN GREEN there is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars JOHN GREEN I dislike the phrase 'Internet friends,' because it implies that people you know online aren't reall... JOHN GREEN I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr. JOHN GREEN Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome... JOHN GREEN Oh, Wikipedia, with your tension between those who would share knowledge and those who would destroy... JOHN GREEN It's not because I want to make out with her." Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excit... JOHN GREEN I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying tr... JOHN GREEN They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting. JOHN GREEN Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than "Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me ... JOHN GREEN Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said. "R... JOHN GREEN So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I w... JOHN GREEN Thomas Edison's last words were "It's very beautiful over there ". I don't know where there is... JOHN GREEN Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. JOHN GREEN When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, t... JOHN GREEN What a slut time is. She screws everybody. JOHN GREEN The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive. JOHN GREEN Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than... JOHN GREEN You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I... JOHN GREEN Some people have lives; some people have music. JOHN GREEN You do not immortalize the lost by writing about them. Language buries, but does not resurrect. JOHN GREEN As Alaska zipped through something obvious about linear equations, stoner/baller Hank Walsten said, ... JOHN GREEN Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to t... JOHN GREEN Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinc... JOHN GREEN Some infinities are bigger than other infinities... JOHN GREEN It seemed like forever ago, like we've had this brief but still infinite forever. Some infinities ar... JOHN GREEN There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection o... JOHN GREEN Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. JOHN GREEN What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person. JOHN GREEN Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about sufferi... JOHN GREEN You could hold me and I could hold you. And it would be so peaceful. Completely peaceful. Like the f... JOHN GREEN That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pret... JOHN GREEN The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember w... JOHN GREEN Apparently, the world is not a wish-granting factory. JOHN GREEN Augustus," I said. "Really. You don't have to do this." "Sure I do," he said. "I found my Wish.... JOHN GREEN Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start. JOHN GREEN You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are. JOHN GREEN We are all going, I thought, and it applies to turtles and turtlenecks, Alaska the girl and Alaska t... JOHN GREEN Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am ... JOHN GREEN The marks humans leave are too often scars. JOHN GREEN As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. JOHN GREEN Much of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me, so I knew wha... JOHN GREEN It's just that most really good-looking people are stupid, so I exceed expectations.' 'Right, i... JOHN GREEN Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinc... JOHN GREEN Because you are beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to den... JOHN GREEN I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, ok... JOHN GREEN You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All effo... JOHN GREEN That’s part of what I like about the book in some ways. It portrays death truthfully. You die in t... JOHN GREEN I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is inprobably biased toward the con... JOHN GREEN Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always JOHN GREEN It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the ... JOHN GREEN Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom... JOHN GREEN Books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal. JOHN GREEN Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he h... JOHN GREEN May I see you again?" he asked. There was an endearing nervousness in his voice. I smile... JOHN GREEN There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no ... JOHN GREEN Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you. JOHN GREEN The world is not a wish-granting factory. JOHN GREEN My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations. JOHN GREEN Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair I’m sitting on. It was built, an... JOHN GREEN Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but ... JOHN GREEN You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! JOHN GREEN I mean, we're ninjas." "Well maybe you're a ninja," I said "You're just... JOHN GREEN The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exa... JOHN GREEN There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is i... JOHN GREEN We were kissing. I thought: This is good. I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad... JOHN GREEN What the hell is that?" I laughed. "It's my fox hat." "Your fox hat?" "Yeah, Pudge. M... JOHN GREEN I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their in... JOHN GREEN Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die. JOHN GREEN We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreperably broken. JOHN GREEN It's not life or death, the labyrinth. Suffering. Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you.... JOHN GREEN Sometimes I don't get you,' I said. She didn't even glance at me. She just smiled toward the t... JOHN GREEN That didn’t happen, of course. Things never happened the way I imagined them. JOHN GREEN I found myself thinking about President William McKinley, the third American president to be assassi... JOHN GREEN I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit. JOHN GREEN I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to us... JOHN GREEN Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war JOHN GREEN And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall... JOHN GREEN Have you really read all those books in your room?” Alaska laughing- “Oh God no. I’... JOHN GREEN He was gone, and I did not have time to tell him what I had just now realized: that I forgave him, a... JOHN GREEN Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why... JOHN GREEN It always shocked me when I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought and fe... JOHN GREEN I may die young, but at least I'll die smart. JOHN GREEN What is an "instant" death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of those ... JOHN GREEN I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fu... JOHN GREEN When I look at my room, I see a girl who loves books. JOHN GREEN pg. 231-232: They'd given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A ... JOHN GREEN Islam and Christianity promise eternal paradise to the faithful. And that is a powerful opiate, cert... JOHN GREEN I figured something out. The future is unpredictable. JOHN GREEN When things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again.... JOHN GREEN It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world. JOHN GREEN Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth,... JOHN GREEN [I]t occurred to me that the voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, beca... JOHN GREEN Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will… but then again, if you don’t imagine, nothing eve... JOHN GREEN What the hell is instant ? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant puddin... JOHN GREEN I'll fight it. I'll fight it for you. Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace. I'm okay. I'll find a w... JOHN GREEN You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape one day, and how ... JOHN GREEN You used," he said, and then took a sharp breath, "to call me Augustus. JOHN GREEN The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle. Like, I will probably never be struck by lightening, o... JOHN GREEN It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything else. JOHN GREEN I'm in love with you," he said quietly. "Augustus," I said. "I am," he said. H... JOHN GREEN I looked over at Augustus Waters, who looked back at me. You could almost see through his eyes they ... JOHN GREEN And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. JOHN GREEN -so if the inevitability of oblivion worries you, than I suggest you ignore it. God knows that's wha... JOHN GREEN Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting. JOHN GREEN You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them. JOHN GREEN What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? JOHN GREEN Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the sid... JOHN GREEN What's that?" "The laundry basket?" "No, next to it." "I don't see anything next to i... JOHN GREEN Do the thing you're good at. Not many people are lucky enough to be so good at something. JOHN GREEN For a moment, she was quiet. Then she grabbed my hand, whispered, “Run run run run run,” and too... JOHN GREEN We don't tend to write about disease in fiction - not just teen novels but all American novels -... JOHN GREEN I know that books seem like the ultimate thing that's made by one person, but that's not tru... JOHN GREEN Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his large... JOHN GREEN The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tighteni... JOHN GREEN Anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see. JOHN GREEN You see how fake it all is. It's not even hard enough to be made out of plastic. It's a paper town. JOHN GREEN But there was so much todo: cigarettes to smoke, sex to have, swings to swing on. I'll have more tim... JOHN GREEN How wil we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering? JOHN GREEN AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!' he screamed. 'So that's Sara,' I said. 'Yes.' 'She seems nice. JOHN GREEN The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick,' Takumi said to himself. "I can rhyme while I run; I'm t... JOHN GREEN I’m just scared of ghosts, Pudge. And home is full of them. JOHN GREEN You can't just make me different and then leave JOHN GREEN She has great breasts," the Colonel said without looking up from the whale. "DO NOT OBJECTIFY W... JOHN GREEN But why Alaska?' I asked her. 'Well, later, I found out what it means. It's from an Aleut... JOHN GREEN Right, well, he'd been sick for a while and his nurse said to him, 'You seem to be feeling better th... JOHN GREEN I'm really not up for answering any questions that start with how, when, where, why or what. JOHN GREEN You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. JOHN GREEN I have a great affection for people who are intellectually engaged with the world, and who don’t t... JOHN GREEN I've never known before what it feels like to want someone - not to want to hook up with them or wha... JOHN GREEN There's a stark difference between the words 'prodigy' and 'genius.' Prodigies can very quickly lear... JOHN GREEN Why is being a nerd bad? Saying I notice you’re a nerd is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you�... JOHN GREEN I wanted us to have an adventure. Because I love that crap. Because I'm not whatever-her-name-is. I ... JOHN GREEN If my public existence does anything worthwhile, hopefully it at least demystifies the author a bit,... JOHN GREEN If people were like rain, I was like drizzle and she was a hurricane. JOHN GREEN I do not say goodbye. I believe that's one of the bullshitiest words ever invented. It's not like yo... JOHN GREEN Do you know what your problem is? You can't live with the idea that someone might leave. JOHN GREEN Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will JOHN GREEN