I say that I can't make anything up. I think of myself as a collage artist. I'm cutting and pasting memories of my life. And I say, I have to live a life in order to tell a life. I would prefer to tell it because telling you're always in control, you're like God.

Spalding Gray

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— Spalding Gray

I think of New York as a puree and the rest of the United States as vegetable soup.

— Spalding Gray

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I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to.

— Spalding Gray

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everything is contingent, and there is also chaos

— Spalding Gray

Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me a good round of sex might be seven minutes. Skiing you can do for seven hours.

— Spalding Gray