I sometimes truly despair at ever being meaningfully altered and affected by the things I claim are so important to me.

Sometimes I feel as if four thousand years of silencing women, of the fear of women who were burned in oil or eviscerated in front of their daughters, is imprinted deep within me and has altered my DNA.

I think it's because most of us talk one way and live another. There are a few people who truly, truly walk the talk.

I talk to women's groups all over the country and see women struggling with this. The fear of not being accepted, of being different, of not having a man, all make it hard for a woman to do what she really believes is right for her.

I think we're socialized out of being women, and then we have to find our way back to it. That's hard to do.

Thankfully, it became clear to me that when I compete, I lose my connection to the passion I have for my work.