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I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny on topic.


David Javerbaum

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If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not f...
CALVIN TRILLIN I just couldn't go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland's suicide. I didn't see...
JUDD NELSON When I write, I'm not trying to be funny. It's the way I look at the world.
BILLY COLLINS No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that...
TUCKER MAX I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn...
ELMORE LEONARD David Mamet's writing is pretty spectacular, obviously. I like the honesty of it; I like how fun...
T. R. KNIGHT I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.
GENE WILDER I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be s...
LORRIE MOORE I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don...
MAYA RUDOLPH I never learned to be a writer. I never took screenwriting courses. I never read anyone's script...
DEREK CIANFRANCE We would write scripts, like for 'Shutterbugs.' Then when we shot it, everyone just came up ...
JASON WOLINER It's a funny thing: people often ask how I discipline myself to write. I can't begin to unde...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER I just write what I think is funny. I don't care who watches it.
IAN HECOX It's funny, because in deference to conventional wisdom, I spent my struggling writer years tryi...
JACQUELINE CAREY I never dare to write As funny as I can.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, SR. I got put on jury duty, which is where I learned how to write.
DAVID O. RUSSELL And write what you love - don't feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be ...
CASSANDRA CLARE I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.
KEVIN HART Now the second common characteristic of fiction follows from this, and it is that fiction is present...
FLANNERY O'CONNOR It's really funny - when I'm depressed or I'm having a hard time, I'll write really ...
KATHLEEN HANNA The fact is that if the writer's attention is on producing a work of art, a work that is good in its...
FLANNERY O'CONNOR 'Entourage' was a show that existed around wish-fulfillment. People watched it because they ...
ADAM PALLY Look at what's happening in this world. Every day there's something exciting or disturbing t...
GWENDOLYN BROOKS I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's ...
NAOMI CAMPBELL How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's ...
LES DAWSON I think you have to love the characters that you write. I don't know how you could possibly writ...
ELIZABETH MERIWETHER I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than th...
ANDY COHEN I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice,...
DENIS LEARY Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids ...
BILLY BOB THORNTON Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Hey, that's how we learned the traps, learned how to write good songs.
JUSTIN BAREN I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you t...
ANDY WARHOL My inner critic who had begun piping up about how hopeless I was and how I didn't know to write.
MARY GARDEN It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that.
XAVIER NIEL I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't ...
GENE WILDER I don't project no image. I just act like myself. I write about how I feel, the emotional stage ...
WAKA FLOCKA FLAME When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then ...
SCOTT THOMPSON I wanted to write a story about colonization and about Hawaii. I went to college right at the height...
HANYA YANAGIHARA I constantly write about my safety walking to and from school, and then I would come home at night, ...
TA-NEHISI COATES I sort of always like to write starting with when I learned how.
DANIEL PINKWATER I always run into these Ph.D.s. They write and write and write about sustainable development. Then t...
JAIME LERNER I'm crazy about 'Breaking Bad,' but I wouldn't know how to write an episode of it.
AARON SORKIN I'm a morning person because I learned to write my novels while still practicing law. I would ge...
STEVE BERRY I am very bad at computers. I don't really know how to write email.
MARJANE SATRAPI A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY I'm a huge David Lindsay-Abaire fan. If I could write, I would want to write like him.
TATE DONOVAN A lot of the music I write is about love. Sometimes I won't understand how I am feeling until I ...
CAMILA CABELLO There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.
VANESSA BAYER People write about getting sick, they write about tummy trouble, they write about having to wait for...
PAUL THEROUX I love to swim. When I jump in the water, I feel like I'm 12 years old again. It's really fu...
SUMMER SANDERS It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON I don't know how to write love letters.
FRIDA KAHLO 'Mrs Funnybones' is based and structured around my columns, and it's about how a modern ...
TWINKLE KHANNA Writers are troubled about finding time to write and writer's block and publicizing books that a...
DEB CALETTI I am a writer, which means I write stories, I write novels, and I would write poetry if I knew how t...
ALEKSANDAR HEMON You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln...
AL FRANKEN I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a ...
DAVID CROSS If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
CASEY AFFLECK When asked, 'How do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.'
STEPHEN KING It's funny how everything was Roses when we held on to our Guns.
AXEL ROSE Doug knows how to write for singers. And, because it's a little bit of a show-biz musical, there's e...
BEAU GRAVITTE I don't write down my experiences, but I have a very decent memory. I have tons of books in whic...
EVAN DANDO It's a funny song and a funny video about a very serious topic. A lot of women die at the hands of t...
NATALIE MAINES How a piece ends is very important to me. It's the last chance to leave an impression with the r...
S. E. HINTON I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to t...
ROSEANNE BARR It slightly depends on your perspective, sort of how you look at these things, but when I sit down t...
ALEX GARLAND Because my musical background is so diverse, it lends me to have very much my own style and it helps...
CASEY JAMES I wanted to be a writer, but at the time, I spent my days working a retail job, my nights sleeping i...
ANTHONY MARRA I think it's funny how excited people can get about things I say that don't have anything to...
RON POPE Many writers can't make a living. So to be able to teach how to write is valuable to them. But I...
CHINUA ACHEBE If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
LARRY DAVID It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON I could learn how to press 'Record' on a tape recorder and write for a newspaper or a magazi...
BARRY BONDS Even when you write it, someone's got to play it. So if you can play it and bypass all the rest ...
ORNETTE COLEMAN I think one of the things I was shocked about was how interested the world is in 'American Idol&...
NICKI MINAJ My earliest memories as a child are listening to Beatles records, and they are a big part of how I&#...
CHRISTINA PERRI Yes, actually ever since I saw his films and tried to write about them, Sirk's been in everythin...
RAINER WERNER FASSBINDER When you realize my best selling books are 'Owl Moon,' the 'How Do Dinosaur' books, ...
JANE YOLEN I just can't seem to write songs about peace and love. Yeah right, how do you get that?
SIOBHAN FAHEY I used to think, 'How can I write my life story? I'm still living it.'
FRANK SERPICO The show was really funny and charming, ... And I loved how it seemed like it was just thrown togeth...
DAV PILKEY I'm not like a champion of profanity. I write what I hear, and the characters that I write, that...
STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS One is sometimes meant to reassure the reader that she's qualified to write about a certain topi...
RACHEL KUSHNER I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happe...
JOE ROGAN I sat down to try to write 'Edinburgh,' an autobiographical novel, and that took five years ...
ALEXANDER CHEE I was so surprised at how informal and funny he was.
JANE REYNOLDS When I was working on my first novel, 'The Quilter's Apprentice,' I knew I wanted to wri...
JENNIFER CHIAVERINI For years I've wanted to write about the Australian countryside, but, like most Australians, I&#...
KATE GRENVILLE It's funny, I don't know where I would place myself in the literary landscape. I really just...
DAN BROWN Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for t...
LESLEY GORE When I was in elementary school, I used to write letters to myself. I'd write letters and go ...
KRISTIN KREUK I'll sit around and play my guitar; that's how I write tunes.
OTIS RUSH Half of my life, I've had people staring at me because they think I'm funny-looking and ugly...
FKA TWIGS It's funny: I put money into short films, and I put really good actors in it, and I write some s...
BEN SCHWARTZ There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connec...
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN The funny thing about 'Take Shelter' is that a lot of people talk about how it was allegory ...
JEFF NICHOLS There is still a funny notion that women should not write violent fiction.
VAL MCDERMID No, I won't ever write another 'Lily Bard.' I said everything I had to say about Lily.
CHARLAINE HARRIS I do everything from home. I broadcast commentaries for CBS News Radio every day - from home, on a d...
CHARLES GRODIN

More David Javerbaum

As a Jew reading about Jesus, I thought, 'He's a pretty good guy.' It's the same con...
DAVID JAVERBAUM If there's a God, and we have all this evidence that there's evolution, but He created the w...
DAVID JAVERBAUM You know, people always talk about how Jesus came down to Earth as a human being. He became a human ...
DAVID JAVERBAUM My biggest objection to Marxism has been the presumption that industry should exist at all. I think ...
DAVID DAVID KATZMAN I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've stil...
LARRY DAVID The area where I grew up in Birmingham was very diverse - I was aware of my race but not overly awar...
DAVID HAREWOOD Birmingham people are the salt of the earth, and I've carried that with me all around the world....
DAVID HAREWOOD In the last couple of years I've been facing down a lot of the demons of the past and trying to ...
DAVID COVERDALE George W. Bush: a person who is the ultimate outcome of the American condition. Someone promoted abo...
DAVID LANGE Stories hold conflict and contrast, highs and lows, life and death, and the human struggle and all k...
DAVID LYNCH Studying consciousness tells us more about how the world is fundamentally strange. I think we have a...
DAVID CHALMERS Thought is the wind and knowledge the sail.
DAVID HARE The Doctor' is the kind of character - because the guest cast is changing all the time, there ar...
DAVID TENNANT It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel lik...
DAVID LETTERMAN Bilingualism lets you have your cake and eat it. The new language opens the doors to the best jobs i...
DAVID CRYSTAL I can mention many moments that were unforgettable and revelatory. But the most single revelatory th...
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH Being dyslexic, I was told that I was an idiot all the time.
DAVID BAILEY Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and le...
DAVID BAILEY The first half of the 20th century belongs to Picasso, and the second half is about photography. The...
DAVID BAILEY I always go for simplicity.
DAVID BAILEY I didn't try and do fashion pictures. I tried to do portraits of girls wearing dresses.
DAVID BAILEY All I could do at school was paint and draw and that was the only time I ever passed any exam. It wa...
DAVID BAILEY You can't really copy what I do because I don't do anything.
DAVID BAILEY I hate being so nostalgic about the Sixties.
DAVID BAILEY People want security in this insecure world.
DAVID BAILEY I don't think my work does reflect my nationality - I don't like the idea of nationalism.
DAVID BAILEY It's not about composition. It's the way you feel about how your objects should relate to ea...
DAVID BAILEY Girls are more attractive to me than dresses.
DAVID BAILEY Rockers are the nicest people to photograph. They have no inhibitions.
DAVID BAILEY Being trendy is dangerous. I've never been trendy, which is why I've never really fallen out...
DAVID BAILEY I don't see the point of photographing trees or rocks because they're there and anyone can p...
DAVID BAILEY If you're curious, London's an amazing place.
DAVID BAILEY I was surrounded by strong women so it had never even occurred to me that women were anything other ...
DAVID BAILEY The skull is nature's sculpture.
DAVID BAILEY Anybody can be a great photographer if they zoom in enough on what they love.
DAVID BAILEY Being handsome wasn't much of a burden. It worked for me.
DAVID BAILEY Everything I read about hitting a midlife crisis was true. I had such a struggle letting go of youth...
DAVID BOWIE I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood...
LARRY DAVID You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things i...
DAVID BOWIE People use irony as a defense mechanism.
DAVID BYRNE Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and ...
DAVID BYRNE I certainly agree that putting everything into little genres is counterproductive. You're not go...
DAVID BYRNE Analysis is like a lobotomy. Who wants to have all their edges shaved off?
DAVID BYRNE I knew I wanted to have a doll of myself on the cover. I thought, I wanna see myself as a Ken doll.
DAVID BYRNE I've been in beautiful landscapes where one is tempted to whip out a camera and take a picture. ...
DAVID BYRNE That's the thing about pictures: they seduce you.
DAVID BYRNE Deep down, I know I have this intuition or instinct that a lot of creative people have, that their d...
DAVID BYRNE If anything, a lot of electronic music is music that no one listens to at home, hardly. It's rea...
DAVID BYRNE My favorite time of day is to get up and eat leftovers from dinner, especially spicy food.
DAVID BYRNE On a bike, being just slightly above pedestrian and car eye level, one gets a perfect view of the go...
DAVID BYRNE I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.
DAVID BYRNE The arts don't exist in isolation.
DAVID BYRNE There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide ex...
DAVID BYRNE Real beauty knocks you a little bit off kilter.
DAVID BYRNE Do I wear a helmet? Ugh. I do when I'm riding through a precarious part of town, meaning Midtown...
DAVID BYRNE Cycling is a joy and faster than many other modes of transport, depending on the time of day. It cle...
DAVID BYRNE You can know or not know how a car runs and still enjoy riding in a car.
DAVID BYRNE You create a community with music, not just at concerts but by talking about it with your friends.
DAVID BYRNE Cycling can be lonely, but in a good way. It gives you a moment to breathe and think, and get away f...
DAVID BYRNE Everything's intentional. It's just filling in the dots.
DAVID BYRNE I like time off. I'm not a workaholic.
DAVID THEWLIS I've had an awful lot of good fortune.
DAVID CASSIDY Every day is a blessing - not to get too schmaltzy, but, really, it is.
DAVID CASSIDY What happened to me during the last couple of years of 'The Partridge Family' was I became s...
DAVID CASSIDY There were times when I was a joke, but talent survives.
DAVID CASSIDY You can't be 24 again; you can't be new when you're 40 years old.
DAVID CASSIDY Most people view success by the results, and I don't.
DAVID CASSIDY I think of my career as something apart from myself.
DAVID CASSIDY You know, many people who become famous and enjoy great success when they're young disappear aft...
DAVID CASSIDY I wouldn't want to play anything bigger than 10,000 again. I think it's too much, and you lo...
DAVID CASSIDY Let me tell you, 10,000 is an intimate room. Believe me. I want to be able to connect to everybody i...
DAVID CASSIDY When you cut your life into a film - 90-some minutes of film - you end up taking snapshots and vigne...
DAVID CASSIDY Until I really dealt with a lot of the demons in my life - the fear and self-doubt and unresolved is...
DAVID CASSIDY I gave up my whole life to my career.
DAVID CASSIDY Just getting your name in the papers and having people talk about you is not always a good thing.
DAVID CASSIDY There's nothing wrong with becoming a role model, nothing wrong with inspiring people to become ...
DAVID CASSIDY It's always nice to have people love you, but I'd just like to be judged fairly.
DAVID CASSIDY It wasn't until later when people became aware of my writing that I would hear begrudgingly, ...
DAVID CASSIDY If people respond to the songs, whether they love you or hate you, then you've really done your ...
DAVID CASSIDY Anybody who carries the albatross of that teen-idol thing - well, people tend to look and say: '...
DAVID CASSIDY I don't want to end up being some joke on a bad TV series.
DAVID CASSIDY I just want to continue to produce good work. I don't want to do junk.
DAVID CASSIDY Just do me a favor. Don't call me 'former teen heartthrob,' okay? It's as if they we...
DAVID CASSIDY I hitched up to Haight-Ashbury in the Summer of Love, you know? And I was very much politically alig...
DAVID CASSIDY Contrary to public opinion and the image people have of me, I grew up in a very lower-middle-class, ...
DAVID CASSIDY It was amazing for me growing up in the musical decade of the '60s. I saw The Beatles on televis...
DAVID CASSIDY Doing musicals and theatrical productions, I never did any of my hits.
DAVID CASSIDY I turned up to all my son's performances and baseball games because my father never did that for...
DAVID CASSIDY I was very wary of repeating my father's behaviour and did everything not to act like he did.
DAVID CASSIDY Most definitely, my dad was my biggest influence.
DAVID CASSIDY My first five albums were triple-platinum, and I played a lot of concerts.
DAVID CASSIDY The television and film business has never really been kind or compassionate, in general.
DAVID CASSIDY It's amazing what happens to your body as you get a little older.
DAVID CASSIDY I didn't end up some sad, tragic guy singing in a lounge somewhere. I never went out and took bi...
DAVID CASSIDY Nobody likes to be rejected, you know?
DAVID CASSIDY I nearly died twice after I replaced Michael Crawford in 'EFX.'
DAVID CASSIDY I work for me, 18 hours a day. It's my gig. So I don't have time to get a point of view.
DAVID CASSIDY I don't listen to the news or read newspapers. I don't know what's going on in this worl...
DAVID CASSIDY You cannot make a teenage idol.
DAVID CASSIDY It's a difficult journey when you're going through a divorce, is it not, for anyone?
DAVID CASSIDY Thoroughbred racing is really my true passion. I'm living my dream.
DAVID CASSIDY I understand the rock star deal having been one and still going out strapping my guitar on and perfo...
DAVID CASSIDY If you put the talent of all my brothers together, they wouldn't add up to the talent that was i...
DAVID CASSIDY I'm never going to retire and say, 'This is it. This is my last show.' I will not go on ...
DAVID CASSIDY I was silver-white by the time I was 35, but having grey hair makes me look washed out. My wife and ...
DAVID CASSIDY I look fine. I've had no surgery apart from an operation I had decades ago to remove the fat und...
DAVID CASSIDY I have an audience that goes from kids to seventy year olds.
DAVID CASSIDY All my big mistakes are when I try to second-guess or please an audience. My work is always stronger...
DAVID BOWIE I read in one fan magazine that I was very self-centered. And I am.
DAVID CASSIDY We are too occupied with celebrity. Believe me, it's not what it's cracked to be.
DAVID CASSIDY All I had done for five years was work 18 hours a day all over the world. I needed to step back and ...
DAVID CASSIDY Everything in my life was about performance when I was doing 'The Partridge Family.'
DAVID CASSIDY My mother, Evelyn, was an actress and singer, and my father, Jack, was an actor. My earliest recolle...
DAVID CASSIDY Once they began doing 'Celebrity Apprentice,' apparently the audience wasn't that keen o...
DAVID CASSIDY My music was never considered cool, but I've always felt that connection with the audience.
DAVID CASSIDY I've always had a special relationship with the U.K. fans, because even when I wasn't workin...
DAVID CASSIDY My dad left when I was 3 1/2, and he left my mom and I.
DAVID CASSIDY I don't play nostalgia acts. I don't play nostalgia shows.
DAVID CASSIDY I don't need to remind myself of the trophies. I know what I accomplished.
DAVID CASSIDY What I want is credibility I got as a songwriter and actor and doing 'Blood Brothers' on Bro...
DAVID CASSIDY In the '80s, it was difficult and frustrating to appear in the theater and TV again, even though...
DAVID CASSIDY All that stuff - 'teen idol' - that wasn't me.
DAVID CASSIDY I wasn't ever a bad guy, and I was never arrested or anything like that, but I was a wild boy in...
DAVID CASSIDY I saw Jimi Hendrix - it must have been four times. And he was incomparable, and his legend lives on.
DAVID CASSIDY Acting was absolutely my first focus. I graduated high school in L.A., and two weeks afterwards, I m...
DAVID CASSIDY I've really sensed that people have an affection for me.
DAVID CASSIDY I've done an enormous amount of bringing light into people's lives, and I'm very proud o...
DAVID CASSIDY I bought my first horse when I was 15. I always loved racing and I started studying about breeding a...
DAVID CASSIDY I've always had a love for horses since I was really young. When I was 5 years old, the only thi...
DAVID CASSIDY My mother gave up a good part of her career to look after me.
DAVID CASSIDY In a very short period of time, actors can become kind of relevant and hot.
DAVID CASSIDY I played in garage bands and rock and roll bands when I was in junior high and high school and saw s...
DAVID CASSIDY I found myself very lost after 'The Partridge Family,' and I lost my dad and I lost my manag...
DAVID CASSIDY I've been able to go on and have a successful career on Broadway and certainly the last five yea...
DAVID CASSIDY It's not about the fame and the money because if you do good work all that stuff comes.
DAVID CASSIDY We live in a world of strange priorities, where Kim Kardashian buying a Lamborghini creates internat...
DAVID HAREWOOD The law always limits every power it gives.
DAVID HUME There are some four million different kinds of animals and plants in the world. Four million differe...
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH Life to me is a journey - you never know what may be your next destination.
DAVID RUSSELL False modesty can be worse than arrogance.
DAVID MITCHELL This whole world is wild at heart and weird on top.
DAVID LYNCH I believe that the war on drugs is a tragically misplaced use of resources - an immoral venture that...
DAVID HARSANYI Once you get over the culture shock, Filey is a pleasant spot, particularly at the beginning or end ...
DAVID HEWSON Robots have gotten steadily more capable, but humans' expectations that robots should have minds...
DAVID HANSON If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.
DAVID SEDARIS College is a magic time. Yes, you're young and fickle, but you want to be part of this college e...
DAVID SZE What I value most in my friends is loyalty.
DAVID MAMET I'm a photographer, period. I love photography, the immediacy of it. I like the craft, the idea ...
DAVID LACHAPELLE Gribenes have been referred to as Jewish popcorn or kosher pork rinds. It's basically chicken sk...
DAVID SAX Texas hold 'em is all about folding and waiting for that time that comes up every hour or two wh...
DAVID EINHORN I spent most of high school working on the debate team, probably at some expense to my grades. Being...
DAVID EINHORN During my freshman year at Cornell, I joined my dorm's intramural football team. At the first pr...
DAVID EINHORN I rooted for the Milwaukee Brewers and its stars, Robin Yount and Paul Molitor. I went to a lot of g...
DAVID EINHORN I've got a fantasy-baseball team with my brother. But I have to admit, he does all the work.
DAVID EINHORN My father and grandfather were businessmen. The family business was Adelphi Paints in New Jersey. Wh...
DAVID EINHORN There's more at risk in what happens in Microsoft than I could ever bet on a poker table.
DAVID EINHORN On my best days, I fancy myself a combination of Dad's persistence/patience and Mom's toughn...
DAVID EINHORN Both poker and investing are games of incomplete information. You have a certain set of facts and yo...
DAVID EINHORN Language itself changes slowly, but the Internet has speeded up the process of those changes so you ...
DAVID CRYSTAL I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
LARRY DAVID Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries; for mathematics, the cultural world is one coun...
DAVID HILBERT Every spring, this country will be reminded of the Lady from Texas. As trees bloom and flowers carpe...
DAVID MIXNER If you're a reporter, the easiest thing in the world is to get a story. The hardest thing is to ...
DAVID HALBERSTAM I'm a good person, I hope. But I'm never as good as I want to be, never as nice as I want to...
DAVID TENNANT I checked out all types of tobacco trying to find one that would be easiest to live with, I ended up...
DAVID STRATHAIRN A poet could write volumes about diners, because they're so beautiful. They're brightly lit,...
DAVID LYNCH Smoking calms me down. It's enjoyable. I don't want politicians deciding what is exciting in...
DAVID HOCKNEY It is not contrary to reason to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my fi...
DAVID HUME Lion sounds that have not grown from the mouse may exude naked power... but cannot convey any wisdom...
DAVID WHYTE The rules of morality are not the conclusion of our reason.
DAVID HUME Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper.
DAVID HILBERT But Dr. Smith says, and I believe it to be a true state of the case, that he himself gave a course o...
DAVID RITTENHOUSE I played hockey in the winter, and then I would play golf in the summer. But I always knew I'd b...
DAVID HEARN Enjoyment of the landscape is a thrill.
DAVID HOCKNEY Through the years I've been getting better and better and better, and it's what you learn th...
DAVID ORTIZ 'The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, b...
DAVID CHASE I am more weary of life, I think, than ever I was.
DAVID BRAINERD The important thing is for the characters to feel real, and to be given the humanity they are due. T...
DAVID LEVITHAN You can't take a knife on a plane anymore, but you can get on carrying a virus.
DAVID QUAMMEN Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a wo...
LARRY DAVID When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the street...
LARRY DAVID I'm a walking, talking enigma.
LARRY DAVID I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and le...
LARRY DAVID I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.
LARRY DAVID When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these ...
LARRY DAVID My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
LARRY DAVID I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, ...
LARRY DAVID It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
LARRY DAVID In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as ser...
LARRY DAVID I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
LARRY DAVID If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
LARRY DAVID Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's lik...
LARRY DAVID I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
LARRY DAVID Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting f...
LARRY DAVID I don't like to make a big splash anyway.
LARRY DAVID I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
LARRY DAVID Dementia is our most-feared illness, more than heart disease or cancer.
DAVID PERLMUTTER We may never understand illnesses such as cancer. In fact, we may never cure it. But an ounce of pre...
DAVID AGUS Sometimes when you get disappointment it makes you stronger.
DAVID RUDISHA Bishops and judges are some of the best politicians in the world. They know how to manipulate the po...
DAVID BLUNKETT