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I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you'll never be worried with a human audience.


Kristen Schaal

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KRISTEN CALLIHAN Ah, now,” crooned Adam, “here we are, then.” With infinite care, as though he were handling a ...
KRISTEN CALLIHAN Such is a community
of inviolable immunity, protected
from tampering or harpooning
mu...
KRISTEN HENDERSON Listen,” whispers Dario. “How still it is.” They stand under a darkened archway, the only soun...
KRISTEN CAVEN The cable liner is pushing out and stopping the accelerator pedal from going back to its original po...
KRISTEN KINLEY Everybody can attest to the fact that anybody in the Pac-10 can beat anybody.
KRISTEN KOVESDY Well, I am also pretty confident that I’ve got your number,” Jake told her, glancing at her agai...
KRISTEN CASEY …Jake caught the briefest glimpse of a demure set of pale pink lingerie, and then Molly was airbor...
KRISTEN CASEY Packing some heat there, aren’t you Officer?”
Jake looked down and yanked on the hem of hi...
KRISTEN CASEY I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t remember your own name.
KRISTEN PROBY I want him. Right now. “In me,” I whisper. He smiles against my lips. “Impatient?” “Horny.
KRISTEN PROBY Just do me a solid and keep condoms in your purse. Just in case.” “That doesn’t help me keep m...
KRISTEN PROBY I was just a sophomore and I don't think I really comprehended what a big deal it was to go to the t...
KRISTEN O'NEILL Edward chuckled into her mouth.
“Like that, do you?” he murmured. “So do I.” KRISTEN CASEY Even while starting out I took things very seriously; I wasn't the sort of kid that would do a d...
KRISTEN STEWART I like watching
from inside, as if locked away
and stealing the distinct pleasure
...
KRISTEN HENDERSON It's a team goal for the program, even looking ahead towards the summertime and next season, setting...
KRISTEN COUTOULAKIS When George spotted the pinup girl of his fondest fantasies across that cheesy bar, he had no idea w...
KRISTEN CASEY Finding peace and contentment with Evernight—two emotions he was certain he’d never found in bed...
KRISTEN CALLIHAN Through a trick lighting technique
the skyline was made and faded
with the care of a poi...
KRISTEN HENDERSON I'm 19, and, being a public figure, I'm supposed to present myself in a certain way, but it&...
KRISTEN STEWART He utilizes
form for a striking lecture;
young poets shiver

inexperience,
...
KRISTEN HENDERSON I'm carded for R-rated movies. And I get talked down to a lot. When I try to go rent a car or bu...
KRISTEN BELL There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
Wh...
KRISTEN MCKEE Rule Number One in the India Savage Life Code: When in doubt or possible trouble, lie.
KRISTEN ASHLEY Once, I took the penny whistle
you gave me and discovered a spot
by the roaring falls whe...
KRISTEN HENDERSON I would rather have a small part in a really great movie than a big one in one that I'm not too ...
KRISTEN WIIG Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms.
“Who you got?” I ask.
“You, drunk girl. Come on.�...
KRISTEN PROBY I tried to close my ears to the strange worshipful chanting and fix my mind on God, but the Egyptian...
KRISTEN REED For a brief moment the previous day, I’d felt a flicker of kinship with him because of my own barr...
KRISTEN REED We finished Jose's blood and did it react? No. Okay so Jose has O negative.
KRISTEN BOOGHBY There's an idea about who I am that's eternally projected onto me, and then I almost feel li...
KRISTEN STEWART God gave us a variety of ways to get hurt out and do it clean. Blood cleans a wound. Tears clean a d...
KRISTEN ASHLEY I'm not a risk taker. I don't do plunging necklines or really short skirts. I try to stay as...
KRISTEN BELL Hold on tight, Cherie
KRISTEN ASHLEY She stared.
Then she busted out laughing.
And that was it.
All that he needed.
C...
KRISTEN ASHLEY And who shall you be once you don your grand disguise?"
"La luna," she said with a smile.
...
KRISTEN CALLIHAN Everyone always says, 'Kristen got 'Panic Room' because she looks like Jodie Foster.'...
KRISTEN STEWART Iskari let others define her because she thought she didn't have a choice. Because she thought she w...
KRISTEN CICCARELLI She nodded, grabbed her purse out of the drawer and skedaddled, walking like she was on a catwalk, o...
KRISTEN ASHLEY Nicole is especially stunning on this event. People are really going to be impressed with her skill ...
KRISTEN SMYTH I don't want to be pigeonholed into doing just romantic comedies. But they're fun, and espec...
KRISTEN BELL I've had mine one year and it's already obsolete.
KRISTEN HALL Go to him, Sweet Pea.
KRISTEN ASHLEY You're cute in the morning," he told me.

"I am?" I asked.

"Cute and sweet." KRISTEN ASHLEY