I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

[But she was closer to her mother.] I adored my mother. She was very formal and proper, but she was so full of fun when you got to know her. ... Because she was really like me, without the cover. You know when you take the shell off a tortoise? There's my mother. I live a lot the way she lived. I have a very formal home and my daughter was brought up strictly and all that.

My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'