I wanted control over what was said and what was not said, rather than holding my head down in shame.

I wanted to step forward and be on TV and for people to see who I really was.

Both are still kind of holding a gun to each other's head. This is not total disarmament.

Don't get me wrong - I love London, and still have an apartment there.

I'm a new mum who spends her days making baby food and cooking for her man. And I couldn't be happier.

I was reading so much about myself in the papers that was not me.