I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.


Mark Twain

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I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said that I didn't know.
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, "I don't know."
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.
MARK TWAIN
You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer.
I DONT KNOW
Get this (economic plan) passed. Later on, we can all debate it.
, TO NEW HAMPSHIRE LEGISLATORS
I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL
I have kept a diary,
WITHNAIL AND I
I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE
Woman is always fickle - foolish is he who trusts her.
FRANCIS I
Long ailments wear out pain, and long hopes, joy.
STANISLAUS I
Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to ma...
BAUDOUIN I
Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.
NAPOLEON I
When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
GREGORY I
One should act in consonance with the way of heaven and earth, which is enduring and eternal. The su...
I CHING
The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and rema...
I CHING
Great effort is required to arrest decay and restore vigor. One must exercise proper deliberation, p...
I CHING
Before a thunderstorm there is a build-up of tension which is only relieved by the explosive force o...
I CHING
Creativity comes from awakening and directing men's higher natures, which originate in the primal de...
I CHING
The way of the creative works through change and transformation, so that each thing receives its tru...
I CHING
Change is certain. Peace is followed by disturbances; departure of evil men by their return. Such re...
I CHING
The responses of human beings vary greatly under dangerous circumstances. The strong man advances bo...
I CHING
A person in danger should not try to escape at one stroke. He should first calmly hold his own, then...
I CHING
He who possesses the source of enthusiasm will achieve great things. Doubt not. You will gather frie...
I CHING
Although I may not be a lioness, I am a lion's cub, and inherit many of his qualities; and as long a...
ELIZABETH I
Fiat justitia et pereat mundus.
Let justice be done, though the world perish.
FERDINAND I
Though God hath raised me high, yet this I count the glory of my crown: that I have reigned with you...
ELIZABETH I
I am your anointed Queen. I will never be by violence constrained to do anything. I thank God I am e...
ELIZABETH I
Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
CHARLES I
It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds of war to destroy...
BAUDOUIN I
Must! Is must a word to be addressed to princes? Little man, little man! thy father, if he had been ...
ELIZABETH I
Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can all too easily tempt us to relax and let t...
I CHING
In a few years there will be only five kings in the world -- the King of England and the four kings ...
FAROUK I
Never make a defence or apology before you be accused.
CHARLES I
The daughter of debate That still discord doth sow.
ELIZABETH I
'Twas God the word that spake it, He took the bread and brake it, And what the word did make i...
ELIZABETH I
If I follow the inclination of my nature, it is this: beggar-woman and single, far rather than queen...
ELIZABETH I
When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty
GREGORY I
The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delig...
I. KRISHNAMURTI
People are not an interruption of our business. People are our business.
A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.
It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no diff...
The intelligence is proved not by ease of learning, but by understanding what we learn.
Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.
Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads
Let love through good deeds show.
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
ELIZABETH I
In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
That is the supreme value of history. The study of it is the best guarantee against repeating it.
It is a natural virtue incident to our sex to be pitiful of those that are afflicted.
ELIZABETH I
A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing.
ELIZABETH I
There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, an...
ELIZABETH I
If we still advise we shall never do.
ELIZABETH I
Those who appear the most sanctified are the worst.
ELIZABETH I
Though I am not imperial, and though Elizabeth may not deserve it, the Queen of England will easily ...
ELIZABETH I
The word must is not to be used to princes.
ELIZABETH I
The end crowneth the work.
ELIZABETH I
A fool too late bewares when all the peril is past.
ELIZABETH I
Brass shines as fair to the ignorant as gold to the goldsmiths.
ELIZABETH I
One man with a head on his shoulders is worth a dozen without.
ELIZABETH I
God has given such brave soldiers to this Crown that, if they do not frighten our neighbours, at lea...
ELIZABETH I
God forgive you, but I never can.
ELIZABETH I
I would rather go to any extreme than suffer anything that is unworthy of my reputation, or of that ...
ELIZABETH I
The past cannot be cured.
ELIZABETH I
The stone often recoils on the head of the thrower.
ELIZABETH I
I have the heart of a man, not a woman, and I am not afraid of anything.
ELIZABETH I
I do not so much rejoice that God hath made me to be a Queen, as to be a Queen over so thankful a pe...
ELIZABETH I
To be a king and wear a crown is a thing more glorious to them that see it than it is pleasant to th...
ELIZABETH I
I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman.
ELIZABETH I
I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and o...
ELIZABETH I
Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested.
ELIZABETH I
All my possessions for a moment of time.
ELIZABETH I
You should learn how say things with your eyes that others waste time putting into words.
EYDEN I.
As for my own part I care not for death, for all men are mortal; and though I be a woman yet I have ...
ELIZABETH I
I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married.
ELIZABETH I
Monarchs ought to put to death the authors and instigators of war, as their sworn enemies and as dan...
ELIZABETH I
Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargain for.
STANISLAUS I
Fear not, we are of the nature of the lion, and cannot descend to the destruction of mice and such s...
ELIZABETH I
Though the sex to which I belong is considered weak you will nevertheless find me a rock that bends ...
ELIZABETH I
(Response to King Erik XIV of Sweden's proposal of marriage:)

"[W]hile we perceive ... th...
ELIZABETH I
[F]rom my years of understanding ... I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live [i.e., un...
ELIZABETH I
[I]n the end this shall be for me sufficient, that a marble stone shall declare that a Queen, having...
ELIZABETH I
To be vain of one's rank or place, is to show that one is below it.
STANISLAS I
Our wisdom comes usually from our experience, and our experience comes largely from our experience.
One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first ti...
To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of...
Some families can trace their ancestors back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their chi...
A recent survey was said to prove that the people we Americans most admire are our politicians and d...
If a man defrauds you one time, he is a rascal; if he does it twice, you are a fool.
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Courage is always greatest when blended with meekness; intellectual ability is most admired when it ...
Freedom also includes the right to mismanage your own affairs.
Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice.
The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous - and friendless.
Friendship is love with understanding.

More Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
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The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
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India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ...
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Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
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I never let schooling interfere with my education.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
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There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs...
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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MARK TWAIN
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside...
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN
All generalizations are false, including this one.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
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Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
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When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
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The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
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By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
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So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
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The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
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The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
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Say the report is exaggerated.
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A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
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To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
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I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
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A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
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Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
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Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
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We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ...
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Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
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As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MARK TWAIN
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ...
MARK TWAIN
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal...
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
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Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
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Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN
Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN
Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN
There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN
There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN
It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN
There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN
War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN