I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.
Bill Watterson
Related Thats the thing about the Internet. You can put a lot of distance between yourself and the person yo... ELLEN WRIGHT if youre never scared, or embarased, or hurt, it means you never take any chances. JULIA SOREL Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron... YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe... YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More... HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes... HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f... HARRY YOU A franchise is dictated on the success of doing one film right, so if you can get it done correctly,... JASON STATHAM When you grow up, you gain experience and realise what youre capable of. FRANCESCO TOTTI Dont try to go too fast. Learn your job. Dont ever talk until you know what youre talking about. If ... SAM RAYBURN If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more tha... S.E. HINTON Love is just such a crucial, wonderful thing, and if you are lucky enough to find somebody who genui... RANDALL KENNEDY You're the luckiest person in the entire world if you know what you really want to do, which I w... ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER I feel like if you're a really good human being, you can try to find something beautiful in ever... LADY GAGA In order to bring me down.You have to be able to reach me first. PRAVINEE HURBUNGS We have to keep a good frame of mind and not overlook La Villa. Anytime you do that, youre going to ... HECTOR GARCIA If youre in an awkward position, feel comfortable enough to walk away. BEAU MIRCHOFF I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if ... BILL BURR “Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes, you really c... RICHARD SCHANBERGER Every single person suffers; every marriage has some major battles. Life pulls you in different dire... TAYA KYLE What will happen if you can't say that this wasn't a film? DEYTH BANGER One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes... PHYLLIS REYNOLDS NAYLOR I believe you can only be lucky if you start out being very good TALAL ABU-GHAZALEH If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there's salvation in life. Even... HARUKI MURAKAMI If you treat glass right, it doesn't crack. If you know the properties, you can make things; the col... CATH CROWLEY If only one person can do it, you cannot do it, if two people can do it, you can do it too. M.F. MOONZAJER You do that Helen", Mallory dared. "And tell him we said to f*ck off while youre at it". CHLOE NEILL Never change the person that you are just to fit in. You'll find your true friends that like you... NICOLE ANDERSON I'm a good pool player. I just got lucky but if you shoot the puck, that's what can happen sometimes... KRISTIAN HUSELIUS If the placebo effect was a week or two, I would understand that and say, 'Yes, youre right.' You kn... BOB GREEN It's an event that a lot of people can't participate in. You can't get in here if you are just a reg... DAVID BOHRMAN Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - wh... LARRY THE CABLE GUY I think you can soften people's hearts, even if they have a lot of hate. Music can do that if it... YUNA I think the number one thing that I find important is the importance of honesty with your friends an... EMMA STONE If you can do it, why you won't do it??? If you have chance why you won't use it? DEYTH BANGER Optimism is normal, but some fortunate people are more optimistic than the rest of us. If you are ge... DANIEL KAHNEMAN You can be all that you want to be. Keep dreaming and reach out to your dreams. LAILAH GIFTY AKITA If we're lucky. People don't come, but it is a place where you can have a voice. But people just don... DONALD MCDONALD If you can sit in silence with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you and th... L.M. MONTGOMERY Initially, new ideas are rejected. Later they become dogma if you're right. And if you're re... ROSALYN SUSSMAN YALOW Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ... PHILIP ROTH If you are physically sick, you can elicit the interest of a battery of physicians; but if you are m... MARTIN H. FISCHER No one can express who you are and what you stand for more than you do. Don't leave that to chance o... ASSEGID HABTEWOLD HABTEWOLD ...to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world’. You’re one of th... DANIELE LANZAROTTA When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be even lonelier than when you're by your... FIONA APPLE And isn't it funny how if one person speaks for real, then the other person can too? We just did tha... LAURA PRITCHETT If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money ... HENRY KRAVIS All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are f... ERNEST HEMINGWAY Orphans? Would you really? Adopt children?" "There are advantages. If they turn out badl... LORETTA CHASE Some writers are more natural public performers than others; personally I find it quite strange givi... MONICA ALI You can find love when you are famous if you are the same person you were before you were famous. TAMAR BRAXTON We talk for people who won't come forward and complain about a situation. It's hard for one person t... BARRY CORRADETTI If thousand people say you can't, and you alone believe you can, you will make it happen! But if mil... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Okay, there's this thing you can do, a thing you can do like no other person on this planet. That ma... ANDREW KAUFMAN If you really want to be the best, you have to realize that just situations are against you, just be... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA You just have to keep plugging away and if you get lucky enough to get a job, you get one. MICHAEL VARTAN When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can... FIONA APPLE You can survive tough situations and even turn them to your advantage by acting as if you are the pe... BERNIE SIEGEL See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, ... M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN So, if you're doing good longform with talented people than you can step out and you can be the ... AMY POEHLER I'm really lucky, because I've been able to go places and meet people you can only dream of. FRANCES BEAN COBAIN You can write any time people will leave you alone and not interrupt you. Or, rather, you can if you... ERNEST HEMINGWAY You can write any time people will leave you alone and not interrupt you. Or rather you can if you w... ERNEST HEMINGWAY If you can't get your songs to people one way, you have to find another. B. B. KING Being a teen can be tough. Just try to surround yourself with really good friends that really have y... VICTORIA JUSTICE I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up ma... AZIZ ANSARI Ignore the voice that tells you, you can't! when you know you can SOTONYE ANGA Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But i... MEL BROOKS who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody. J.D. SALINGER You just hope that if you play hard that you get the lucky bounces. You have to have some hustle. So... ERIC VOLBERT Dad, youre so far off the mark I can't even...Lincoln hasn't pressured me at all!" I grabbed my bag ... JESSICA SHIRVINGTON We can see Spirit made visible when people are kind to one another, especially when it's a really bu... ANNE LAMOTT If you are careful,' Garp wrote, 'if you use good ingredients, and you don't take any shortcuts, the... JOHN IRVING Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if peo... ELLEN DEGENERES It's a total lie to say there's only one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. I... RACHEL COHN People say, like, 'Are you a regular person?' 'Well, I'm not a robot, if that's ... ABIGAIL BRESLIN I think that my music is really empowering. I just want people to know - especially young people, bu... ALESSIA CARA Can we really mobilize support, even of friends, when we tell them that if you are not with us you a... ZBIGNIEW BRZEZINSKI If you can eat with mates or friends or family, I mean, it's such a brilliant thing isn't it? If you... JAMIE OLIVER I think Dutch people are very sober. I don't know if it's the right word. Like, you have the... MARTIN GARRIX If you have three people in your life that you can trust, you can consider yourself the luckiest per... SELENA GOMEZ You can pace yourself if you know how much time is involved, ... If you can get the other person to ... CAMILLE LAVINGTON You have a little bit of talent, a certain amount of good fortune and a lot of hard work in pursuit ... DONALD SUTHERLAND See, I'm totally fearless. I got my chops in the most, like, dangerous comedy atmosphere. If you... MAYSOON ZAYID Sitting on a bedroom floor crying is something that makes you feel really alone. If someone's si... TAYLOR SWIFT I was lucky. A lot of people have that. People that don't tell you what you want to hear, but wh... KEVIN LOVE You can feel like, 'I look really bad', but to other people you can be really gorgeous. ASHLEY TISDALE Not all journalists are really journalists. They ask such stupid questions sometimes, especially the... RAY LIOTTA I believe in God, but even if you don't, you can believe in a self, the person who is innately w... MARY KARR If you are a dreamer come in If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar A hoper a pray-er a magi... SHEL SILVERSTEIN Maybe we shouldn't be looking for love. Maybe we should be looking for a person. Because maybe you c... C. JOYBELL C. You do get really exhausted doing films. You work such long hours, and after a while, things can get... ALAN CUMMING I think every man and woman is a star. It's just a matter of realizing and becoming it. It's all a m... MARILYN MANSON I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the ... JO BRAND As you can see, you get really dirty. But you know you worked if you get dirty. CAROLYN CLARK You can be a pretty face, but if you're not a nice person, it just doesn't work. I'm not... KATE MOSS Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that hav... LEMONY SNICKET I believe most people are good, even deep down, even if you have to dig a little - although some peo... CHRISTINA ENGELA If you never know hardship, you can't really support people around you. NATALIA VODIANOVA [Maybe she simply cared in a self-protective way.] Doing something on impulse, ... well, it can work... KATE ADIE
More Bill Watterson
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. BILL WATTERSON Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems. BILL WATTERSON God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that... BILL WATTERSON There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do. BILL WATTERSON We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. BILL WATTERSON We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves an... BILL WATTERSON From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. BILL WATTERSON Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's differ... BILL WATTERSON The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't wa... BILL WATTERSON The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. BILL WATTERSON The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a... BILL WATTERSON Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? BILL WATTERSON Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. BILL WATTERSON If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. BILL WATTERSON It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. BILL WATTERSON Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. BILL WATTERSON I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. BILL WATTERSON Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. BILL WATTERSON I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood. BILL WATTERSON We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. BILL WATTERSON I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and tur... BILL WATTERSON Enemy fighters at two o'clock!Roger. What should I do until then? BILL WATTERSON Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. BILL WATTERSON From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. BILL WATTERSON Black holes are where God divided by zero. BILL WATTERSON The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the
universe is that it has never tried ... BILL WATTERSON Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all th... BILL WATTERSON I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here. BILL WATTERSON When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. BILL WATTERSON Reality continues to ruin my life. BILL WATTERSON Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems? BILL WATTERSON You can present the material, but you can't make me care. BILL WATTERSON If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are? BILL WATTERSON Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book. BILL WATTERSON If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. BILL WATTERSON Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available... BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play ... BILL WATTERSON I used to make original snowmen, but it was time consuming, hard work. So I said, heck, this is craz... BILL WATTERSON People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children. BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, ... BILL WATTERSON The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to... BILL WATTERSON Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. BILL WATTERSON If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. BILL WATTERSON People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up wi... BILL WATTERSON Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to... BILL WATTERSON Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! BILL WATTERSON Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him? BILL WATTERSON You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. BILL WATTERSON You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstei... BILL WATTERSON I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius. BILL WATTERSON I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. BILL WATTERSON If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differe... BILL WATTERSON Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. BILL WATTERSON Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges ... BILL WATTERSON The problem with people is that they're only human. BILL WATTERSON As a kid, I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut. The latter was never much of a ... BILL WATTERSON Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that non... BILL WATTERSON Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. BILL WATTERSON Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience. BILL WATTERSON I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. BILL WATTERSON Careful. We don't want to learn from this. BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me. BILL WATTERSON We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and wh... BILL WATTERSON A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add ... BILL WATTERSON If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. BILL WATTERSON Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do... BILL WATTERSON The syndicates take the strip and sell it to newspapers and split the income with the cartoonists. S... BILL WATTERSON Let it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. BILL WATTERSON Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery -- it recharges... BILL WATTERSON That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things o... BILL WATTERSON Mom and Dad can make the rulesAnd certain things forbid,But I can make them wish that theyhad never ... BILL WATTERSON Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin "Flatulence could be all... BILL WATTERSON I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. BILL WATTERSON You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help. BILL WATTERSON If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely no clue what the... BILL WATTERSON After today, I'll bet Santa takes a shovel to the reindeer stalls to fill your stocking. BILL WATTERSON No more of parental rules!We're heading for the snow!Good riddance to those grown up ghouls!We're le... BILL WATTERSON You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are s... BILL WATTERSON Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a cultur... BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me! BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the ... BILL WATTERSON Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of d... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you thi... 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BILL WATTERSON Heck, what's a little extortion among friends? BILL WATTERSON A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do. BILL WATTERSON You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood i... BILL WATTERSON I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. BILL WATTERSON To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a litt... BILL WATTERSON You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the stron... BILL WATTERSON If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20... BILL WATTERSON We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are... BILL WATTERSON True, comics are a popular art, and yes, I believe their primary obligation is to entertain, but com... BILL WATTERSON Childhood is short and maturity is forever. BILL WATTERSON There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse! BILL WATTERSON I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. BILL WATTERSON The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it. BILL WATTERSON [A little more than a year after the comic entered syndication, it was collected in a book that beca... BILL WATTERSON I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at ... BILL WATTERSON They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Aut... BILL WATTERSON Comics are capable of being anything the mind can imagine. I consider it a great privilege to be a c... BILL WATTERSON Experience is food for the brain. BILL WATTERSON So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend i... BILL WATTERSON Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. BILL WATTERSON I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal. BILL WATTERSON I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do. BILL WATTERSON It took hundreds of years for these woods to grow, and they leveled it in a week. It's gone. After t... BILL WATTERSON I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big. BILL WATTERSON Verbing weirds language. BILL WATTERSON The world isn't fair, Calvin." "I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON This is where dad burried the little raccoon. I don't even know he existed a few days ago and n... BILL WATTERSON Watcha doin'?” “Looking for frogs.” “How come?” “I must follow the inscru... BILL WATTERSON Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle. She says we don't r... BILL WATTERSON I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a new... BILL WATTERSON Scientific Progress goes boink? BILL WATTERSON Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone. -Hobbes BILL WATTERSON I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or i... BILL WATTERSON Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"... BILL WATTERSON County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl... BILL WATTERSON Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.” “That’s thoughtful of you... BILL WATTERSON Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin... BILL WATTERSON I've been thinking Hobbes" "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose BILL WATTERSON Calvin: "I read this library book you got me." Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?" C... BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card. HOBBES: From Susie Derkins! CALVIN: ... BILL WATTERSON I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think ... BILL WATTERSON Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Eve... BILL WATTERSON I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian! BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when y... BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. BILL WATTERSON Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin. BILL WATTERSON You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats. BILL WATTERSON It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but wha... BILL WATTERSON The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing. BILL WATTERSON Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic... BILL WATTERSON I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people. BILL WATTERSON I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification. -Calvin BILL WATTERSON Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension. BILL WATTERSON Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any prepost... BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool. BILL WATTERSON Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, a... BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions. BILL WATTERSON I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends. BILL WATTERSON People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something. BILL WATTERSON I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your li... BILL WATTERSON Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination. -Calvin BILL WATTERSON There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner m... BILL WATTERSON Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table. Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE... BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to c... BILL WATTERSON As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a tes... BILL WATTERSON We've had a few, but considering the length of the delay, it has not been bad. BILL WATTERSON I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life. BILL WATTERSON My life needs a rewind/erase button. BILL WATTERSON To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible. BILL WATTERSON Hobbes might be a little closer to me in terms of personality, with Calvin being more energetic, bra... BILL WATTERSON I hate to subject it to too much analysis, but one thing I have fun with is the rarity of things bei... BILL WATTERSON Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet ... BILL WATTERSON The timber wolves will be our friends.We'll stay up late and howl,At the moon, till nighttime ends,B... BILL WATTERSON Whenever I hear about people trying to rediscover the "child within," I want to scream. BILL WATTERSON I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by H... BILL WATTERSON Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess. BILL WATTERSON If you don't have anything to say just keep quiet! Provoking a reaction isn't the same as saying som... BILL WATTERSON The kind of girl I was attracted to in school and eventually married. BILL WATTERSON . . . it's worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well t... BILL WATTERSON I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of... BILL WATTERSON A REAL job is a job you hate. BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. BILL WATTERSON Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if... BILL WATTERSON There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is. BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ... BILL WATTERSON If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 minutes, than it's probably not worth... BILL WATTERSON You can lead people to the truth, but you can't make them understand it. BILL WATTERSON How come we play war and not peace?" "Too few role models. BILL WATTERSON Such is American business, I guess, where the desire for obscene profit mutes any discussion of cons... BILL WATTERSON Now what state do you live in?' 'Denial. BILL WATTERSON Mothers are the necessity of invention. BILL WATTERSON I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas... BILL WATTERSON I was not prepared for the resulting attention. Besides disliking the diminishment of privacy and th... BILL WATTERSON I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find the inner mo... BILL WATTERSON Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these ... BILL WATTERSON Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better t... BILL WATTERSON By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an i... BILL WATTERSON A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be... BILL WATTERSON I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? BILL WATTERSON Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster th... BILL WATTERSON It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves. BILL WATTERSON It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. BILL WATTERSON [Calvin: A 6-year-old boy who thinks like a grown-up and fantasizes like a child.] Calvin is very fr... BILL WATTERSON