I wonder if pain comes from surrendering or resisting?

I think part of your attraction to him is the draw of the unknown, of being different, even special. He is so out of the ordinary that you feel pulled to that because you yourself are not so ordinary. You're alone. And sometimes the pain of so much loss is written across your face. You wear it like an adornment and that causes other people to wonder about you; they can't relate to you and what you've been through, but you can relate to him in his dark state.

Affliction equips the suffering to empathize with others in anguish and not only does it strengthen them, it enables them to be consoling comforters in a world full of hurt.

Nothing brings more pain than too much pleasure; nothing more bondage than too much liberty, (or libertinism.)

Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people, is that they don't want to discourage it completely.