I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight.

Just because a man and woman sleep in the same bed doesn’t mean they have the same dreams.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.