I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it.

I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote.

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.

Clinton's attempt to socialize healthcare was the second most disgusting thing he did in the oval office. I can't remember was the first thing was.

Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.