I'm kind of over people using the word 'bae'. Let's get rid of that.

The idea of me writing something that I'd get to be in as well was not what I saw coming. I do think that life works that way. When you kind of let go of something and accept that it hasn't worked, it takes all the pressure off, and then you end up getting it.

I wish people could get over the hang-up of subtitles, although at the same time, you know, that's kind of why I'm kind of pro dubbing.

I love animals. I just don't want to have a pet. That's OK, right? I would take a dog over a cat, at least to interact with you. I feel like cats just stare you down all the time. Cats have, like, bad attitudes.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can get with just a kind word.

When I did stand-up at U.C.B., and I had a blog for a couple of years that started my writing career, 'Totally Confident and Completely Insecure,' it was the same kind of self-deprecating humor and stories about being out in L.A. and being treated like a loser at a hair salon because you are not famous.