I'm like a monk with a taste for hookers.

I like tea and yoga, but I don't do yoga.

I love the fact that no one's ever bought my record because they were enamoured of the way I look. Maybe one person. There must be someone out there with compromised taste.

I'm like the Shaolin monk, the counselor in the clubhouse.

Small, bald white guys like myself - we all kind of look the same.

In a perfect world, I would be 6-foot-3 and have a perfect head of hair and look like Orlando Bloom.