I'm no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it's Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It's not nice.

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.'