I'm not going to critique every utterance of the president.


Mitch McConnell

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Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean ...
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I'm not going into personal details of meetings I have with anybody, be it John Howard or Presid...
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During the Obama years, the Republicans have done an unprecedented amount of stonewalling on cabinet...
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I remember Mitch Miller saying every week, This rock and roll stuff will never last. But one doesn&#...
ROSEMARY CLOONEY
I'm the president of the United States. I'm not the emperor of the United States.
BARACK OBAMA
I'm going to be so much better a president for having been at the CIA that you're not going ...
GEORGE H. W. BUSH
I'm not a very good swimmer, and every time I'm in the water, I'm constantly reminded of...
TOM HOLLAND
I know we're not going undefeated. I know I'm not going to throw a touchdown every game.
CARSON WENTZ
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me ea...
GEORGE H. W. BUSH
Every time I touch the ball, I think I'm going to go all the way. I think I'm going to score...
LADAINIAN TOMLINSON
I'm honest about expressing my opinions. At the same time, I'm diplomatic in how I do critiq...
TIM GUNN
I'm not going to put my energy into dunking every time I get the ball. That's stupid.
ANDREW BOGUT
I don't know how to not have fun. I'm dying and I'm having fun, and I'm going to kee...
RANDY PAUSCH
I like going to the gym every day because I'm in physiotherapy every day.
DANIEL CRAIG
I'm not going to change; I'm going to keep grinding. I'm going to do all I can to win.
EZEKIEL ELLIOTT
Every couple of years - no, that's every couple of weeks - I think I'm going to give up acti...
AIDAN GILLEN
I think as you get older, you realize there's always going to be critics. Critics are going to w...
AARON RODGERS
I'm still trying to improve. Everything I can do to improve every part of my game - I'm goin...
COLIN KAEPERNICK
My heroes are guys like Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matt Damon. These are amazing actors with ...
DYLAN O'BRIEN
My heroes are guys like Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matt Damon. These are amazing actors with ...
DYLAN O'BRIEN
I'm humbled by the honor that President Clinton has done me in nominatinq me as Attorney General...
JANET RENO
Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.
MARGARET MEAD
I'm going to do anything I can do - whether that's being part of FIFA or creating some sort ...
ABBY WAMBACH
I'm not going to go run and hide because I'm catching some heat. I'm not going to stay a...
ANDY RODDICK
I'm very strange, I'm not going to lie.
KAT GRAHAM
I'm not a big person, so every time they were adding these big guys to the cast, I said to my tr...
KATEE SACKHOFF
Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON
I'm not going to lie; I'm not a huge remix person.
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
I'm going to be a vice president very much like George Bush was. He proved to be a very effectiv...
DAN QUAYLE
I'm an actor that likes to go to work. I like going to work every day. I'm a worker by natur...
RACHAEL TAYLOR
From the earliest age, I was just different. I think that's part of every writer's little re...
JANINE DI GIOVANNI
I'm visiting my high school. Every half year I do the exams, and then this year I'm going to...
DANIELA HANTUCHOVA
I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was...
ANDY WARHOL
I'm not ill. I'm healthy. I'm not going anywhere. We've got Super Bowls to win.
BOB MCNAIR
You know, as a young child, I lay in my bedroom and I swore to myself then: 'I'm not going t...
FLOYD MAYWEATHER, JR.
I'm not thinking about what needs to be on the radio. I'm not thinking about anything other ...
BRIAN MCKNIGHT
I'm not Russell Crowe. I'm not going to do a period piece.
KEVIN HART
I get asked that almost every day, but I've been saying the same thing... I'm not going to t...
LARRY HOGAN
If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who...
DENIS LEARY
I'm not one of those guys who is going to dye his beard. I'm not that vain.
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN
I just want to do good material. If I'm right for it, and it connects with me, and the material ...
SAM UNDERWOOD
My body doesn't have a lot of curves; I have small breasts, I don't have hips - so I'm n...
SARA SAMPAIO
The loss of Mitch Glicken is going to be felt for many, many years to come.
GEORGE BREED
I'm not going to lie; listen, I'm nice at basketball.
DRAKE
Every gesture is a gesture from the blood, every expression a symbolic utterance... Everything is of...
HENRY WILLIAMSON
I would not run for president. I really like what I'm doing now. People say I'm giving them ...
BARBARA BOXER
I'm baffled by the people who say, 'I'm just not going to vote.'
TRACEE ELLIS ROSS
I'm not confrontational, but if someone challenges, I'm not going to back down.
DRAKE
I'm not saying my idea is the one and only idea. We should have other ideas, but the president h...
CHUCK HAGEL
I'm not going to say I was opposed to the Vietnam War. I'm going to say I'm opposed to w...
JOHN WOODEN
I'm going to the gym six days a week. I'm eating right. Well-balanced diet. I drink a juice ...
CHUMLEE
I like to sit down every day and not know where the book is going. I have no idea where the book is ...
TED BELL
When I'm directing, I noticed I'm not using my subconscious at all. I'm literally using ...
DAN GILROY
I'm not going to disappear.
KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR
I do plan to be on the podium with President Clinton when she's inaugurated in January 2017 - bu...
TIM KAINE
It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON
I'm not going to throw chairs; I'm not going to cuss. I'm not going to do that kind of s...
ANDRE WARD
My mom always told me I should have a Plan B. I said that if I'm not going to play guitar I'...
GARY CLARK, JR.
I'm not so widely known that I'm going to be pigeonholed.
JERI RYAN
When I talk about the assets, that was at the beginning of the talks. I was president then. I'm ...
AKBAR HASHEMI RAFSANJANI
No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain. All I'm after is just a mediocre brai...
ALAN TURING
I'm not going to play lead guitar in a concert hall full of people, because I'm going to mes...
NORAH JONES
It's not every day I get to meet the president of a country.
CONAN O'BRIEN
Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I...
DON RICKLES
Don't forget, I'm 39. I didn't come here just for the money to impress myself. I'm n...
JAROMIR JAGR
I'm not going to freeze under the pressure. I'm hoping I can stand up to it.
CARLY RAE JEPSEN
Listen, I'm the champ, and I'm not going to pick and choose who I fight.
STIPE MIOCIC
I'm going to say this - to the people in Seattle, to all the people in Seattle that trust me, th...
FELIX HERNANDEZ
I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON
It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON
I don't want to be Tom Cruise. I'm not after some movie blockbuster career. That's not t...
RANDY HARRISON
I'm not going to appeal to violence or aggression - of course not.
ALEXEI NAVALNY
I have an existential crisis every time I walk into a bookshop, knowing that I'm not going to re...
TALULAH RILEY
Do you prefer Mitch? Or is Mitchell better?'..
.. Mitch, I say. Mitch is what my friends calle...
MITCH ALBOM
I'm never going to apologize for having a lot of guy friends, and I always have. That happens, a...
CAMILLA BELLE
I don't think that early hip hop stood out to be a social critique. A lot of fans of mine think ...
TALIB KWELI
I'm not going to say that I'm perfect. I do have fashion crises.
CAROLINA HERRERA
What I'm really looking to do is retire undefeated; I'm not sure when the right time to reti...
RONDA ROUSEY
When I say that I'm not dancing, people get it confused, like I'm not going to do anything o...
ASTRO
In many parts, I start from the outside and then it triggers things within. For 'The Piano,'...
HOLLY HUNTER
I'm not incapable of going through things.
COLIN KAEPERNICK
I'm not going to play my violin, but with my dwarfism, I'm a bit of a mutant.
PETER DINKLAGE
I'm a politician. I'm not going to get into a whole range of scientific argument with scient...
TONY ABBOTT
I'm not afraid of death, but I resent it. I think it's unfair and irritating. Every time I s...
VIGGO MORTENSEN
I know Donald Trump. I've met him; I know his family. I have love and friendship and affection f...
CORY BOOKER
People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I earn...
RICHARD M. NIXON
I'm not going to get somewhere and say, 'OK, I'm done.' Success is never final; I...
CONOR MCGREGOR
People in life take on certain stories and say, 'I'm going to be defined by this story and I...
STANA KATIC
I'm not on a mission. I'm not a paragon of health for anybody. I'm not going to run a ma...
DUFF GOLDMAN
I'm not perfect. I'm never going to be. And that's the great thing about living the Chri...
TIM TEBOW
I'm not sure if I'm going to get into coaching. I'm sure I'll stay in soccer somehow...
ABBY WAMBACH
I work hard, and I do good, and I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm not going to let you restrict...
USAIN BOLT
I'm going to be who I am and believe in what I bring to the table every day.
BROCK OSWEILER
Every single night I'm nervous. You never know how the audience is going to react.
VIVIEN LEIGH
I'm a workaholic. I love every movie I've been in, even the bad ones, every TV series, every...
KARL MALDEN
If I'm being forced to do something I don't want to do, my real self comes out. But whether ...
BENJAMIN CLEMENTINE
I'm the only American alive or dead who presided unhappily over the removal of a vice president ...
ALEXANDER HAIG
I make no bones about it, I'm a product of my upbringing and of the time I was brought up, so I&...
DAVID DAVIS

More Mitch McConnell

I think we need to respect the wishes of voters. They have been busily at work making these decision...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We did the two-year extension of Bush tax cuts in 2010. We negotiated the Budget Control Act in Augu...
MITCH MCCONNELL
The border is way more porous than it should be, and I think we'd be open to discussing anything...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We're living under the Obama economy. Any CEO in America with a record like this after three yea...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Today, Democrats not only have the White House; they have the Senate too. So we have to be realistic...
MITCH MCCONNELL
It just doesn't occur to an American that someone else will solve their problems. Americans take...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the cen...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I always think a debt ceiling is a good tool to carry something.
MITCH MCCONNELL
And this year, when we end the cruel, defeatist practice of passing children who cannot read into fo...
MITCH MCCONNELL
The Senate is allowed to work the way it was designed to - meaning a place where nothing is decided ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
After adding trillions to the debt on big-government policies most Americans didn't ask for and ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
In the last 100 years, three presidents suffered big defeats in Congress in their first term and the...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Almost without exception, President Obama begins serious policy discussions by explaining why everyo...
MITCH MCCONNELL
President Obama had two Supreme Court nominees in his first term. There was no filibuster against th...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We hear the stories every day now: the father who puts on a suit every morning and leaves the house ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
A reporter asked recently, 'What keeps you up at night?' I replied that I generally sleep we...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We all got here from somewhere else going back in our lineage. And I think these gratuitous attacks ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
America is about to turn the page on Barack Obama's four-year experiment in big government.
MITCH MCCONNELL
I think that winning the White House is about more than just entertaining a large audience.
MITCH MCCONNELL
What will happen is the bills will start out the way we like them; in order to move them - we'll...
MITCH MCCONNELL
The implication here is that those who came to America legally over the years are somehow second-cla...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I don't think there should be a litmus test on judges, no matter who the president is.
MITCH MCCONNELL
Nurses told my mother that I was going to be OK. They thought I could walk without a limp and withou...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I think I'd like to be an owner of a Major League Baseball team.
MITCH MCCONNELL
We're not gonna misread our mandate.
MITCH MCCONNELL
I ran for president of the student council at my high school in Louisville. And ran against a guy wh...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson?
MITCH MCCONNELL
are much worse than what Sen. Lott said.
MITCH MCCONNELL
Elections are breaking out in the strangest places: Afghanistan, Iraq, the Palestinian territories, ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I have been one of the Republicans who has been somewhat skeptical about needing witnesses but I mus...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I hope the president may have concluded that his comments about the legitimacy of the new president ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
[Proponents -- mostly Democrats -- are threatening to tie up the Senate unless Lott schedules procee...
MITCH MCCONNELL
[But what about the continuing great economic news under Clinton? Lott offered kudos:] I agree that ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Take our word for it. They're disgusting.
MITCH MCCONNELL
We need to say to everyone on Election Day, 'Those of you who helped make this a good day, you n...
MITCH MCCONNELL
While other state governments stiff their vendors, close parks, delay tax refunds, and ignore unacce...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, thi...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Sen. Lott was elected to a two-year term, and he's said he's not going to resign, and in my view he ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
That's ... a little bit like Bonnie and Clyde declaring the problem could be solved by banking regul...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I must say in response to this there was stunned silence, so this is clearly not administration poli...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I mean, we're going to have to pry his hands off the door and search him to get the key back to the ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
The fact is, if our primary legislative goals are to repeal and replace the health spending bill; to...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Our nation has a regrettable history of drawing down our forces and readiness after each conflict, o...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Syria and Iran have always had a pretty tight relationship, and it looks to me like they just cooked...
MITCH MCCONNELL
By their own admission, leaders of the Republican Revolution of 1994 think their greatest mistake wa...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, this system...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Diplomacy is important, extremely important, and I don't think these reductions at the State Dep...
MITCH MCCONNELL
NATO is the most important military alliance in world history.
MITCH MCCONNELL
More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Security benef...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Americans don't think we should be raising taxes on anybody, especially in the middle of a reces...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Are we still a country that takes risks, that innovates, that believes anything is possible? Or are ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I thought the Pence selection ought to reassure the right-of-center voters that a Trump administrati...
MITCH MCCONNELL
I want to reassure our NATO allies that if any of them get attacked, we'll be there to defend th...
MITCH MCCONNELL
as was the courtesy during the Clinton years.
MITCH MCCONNELL
Americans are too speedy.
MITCH MCCONNELL
More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Securi...
MITCH MCCONNELL
It is a president's constitutional right to nominate a Supreme Court justice, and it is the Sena...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th c...
MITCH MCCONNELL
Do we need to tighten restrictions on people coming into the country? I think there's a good arg...
MITCH MCCONNELL
We're a country of five-second sound bites and 30-second commercials. Eight years of one person ...
MITCH MCCONNELL
If they'd like to run against President Bush, ... I question whether they are smart enough to take o...
MITCH MCCONNELL
the best plan is changeable
MITCH
That he said he would make her five-month-old baby disappear if she didn't (sell the home to us), wh...
AMY MCCONNELL
She said that the state of Michigan would pay for all of our closing costs and five percent down.
AMY MCCONNELL
She was looking over our information and noticed we paid $700 a month in rent and that we qualified ...
AMY MCCONNELL
We got our hopes, just smashed.
AMY MCCONNELL
It's a momentous day for the sport and Winnipeg as well. It's history in the making and to have it c...
BRIAN MCCONNELL
It?s a little up in the air right now, ... That?s how hockey is though. I can be asked to pack up ag...
BRIAN MCCONNELL
I?m not really that flashy of a player, ... But I push hard and play defense.
BRIAN MCCONNELL
I think our customer base likes to support local products. It is a good product, my family uses it.
BRIAN MCCONNELL
He's one of the most laidback kids I know. I can't even imagine what it's been like for him. He's ob...
BRIAN MCCONNELL
You start making excuses for yourself that you're getting screwed on calls and things like that. It ...
BRIAN MCCONNELL
Belmont's has always been an environmentally-friendly business. This is a chance for a state-wide re...
BRIAN MCCONNELL
Over the life cycle of that airplane, we're absolutely confident we're going to get 50% or more.
CLAY MCCONNELL
Every piece has its own identity which we develop by the rule 'We know no limits.' We follow...
PAGE MCCONNELL
Late in the game, when the game is on the line, she plays with a sense of urgency and has the abilit...
SUZIE MCCONNELL
Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. tra...
MARTY MCCONNELL
My dad also plays a little banjo and guitar, my mom plays the mandolin.
PAGE MCCONNELL
Once you opt in, you don't have a lot of control over where your information goes.
BETH MCCONNELL
We don't think any taxpayer should be in the situation where they could sign away their rights to pr...
BETH MCCONNELL
The government tells us that we must turn over very private, personal financial information to them ...
BETH MCCONNELL
This is the sixth derivative of the 747. It's a plane that can be offered out there at a relatively ...
CLAY MCCONNELL
His name is vaguely familiar. Basically, I agree with everything the New Labour candidate said about...
JACK MCCONNELL
One of the biggest problems I see are dogs who don't have a lot of emotional control and frustration...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL
Domestic dogs follow humans like a laser and watch the behavior of their humans with a focus that is...
PATRICIA MCCONNELL
The Pirates of the Caribbean.
THOMAS MCCONNELL
He was really likable, always smiling, a very outgoing guy.
DICK MCCONNELL
Sir Tom is one of today's greatest Scots.
JACK MCCONNELL
He has just been wonderful to have on board. He just does a fantastic job.
BILL MCCONNELL
This bill will lead to enormous improvements in our air quality. Massachusetts will get cleaner cars...
BROOKE MCCONNELL
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
CLAY MCCONNELL
I like them both. I've never had any bad barbecue. I love barbecue.
BOB MCCONNELL
This issue, combined with the lack of public input and the problems with informing the public clearl...
BOB MCCONNELL
We just needed a certain singing range and a certain vocal style (for the role).
BILL MCCONNELL
They've put scripture from Genesis in each animal on different spots. What they call it is 'God on t...
BILL MCCONNELL
It is a story about faith, about hope and about animals that talk and how they can change a man's li...
BILL MCCONNELL
[The] single most common source of changing requirements [is] requirements that were not significant...
STEVE MCCONNELL
We had to pick our poison: Do we cover the perimeter or inside? They shot the ball extremely well an...
TIM MCCONNELL
We're really thrilled and honored to have them there, and I think it's an example that we're on the ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL
The fact that the board can't demonstrate how and why these figures changed is disappointing.
BOB MCCONNELL
There was some very generous pricing done on the 777s. The A340 models that we continue to produce a...
CLAY MCCONNELL
He is so outgoing and positive. He's been a very important part of this. His personality is a great ...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL
You can't force something like that. But we have encouraged our audience, because we avoid the c...
PAGE MCCONNELL
We're really glad to see the Russians reach out and work with the international community and get he...
BRUCE MCCONNELL
We don't think we're out of the woods yet. We may get some ... business inconveniences, headaches, h...
BRUCE MCCONNELL
We think this can be a very strong part of the new tourism effort. We have the names of Ralph Stanle...
CHARLIE MCCONNELL
Each of our 900 shows so far was different - maybe that's what makes the fans come back to our g...
PAGE MCCONNELL
That's why it's better to do it on other people's property.
DONALD MCCONNELL
There are parks for little children. Why can't teenagers and young adults have a place to go spray-p...
DONALD MCCONNELL
I'm really sorry. I've already apologized to the business owners and stuff. It was stupid and childi...
DONALD MCCONNELL
We didn't play as good as we could to win. We should have zoned them from the start. We didn't get i...
DICK MCCONNELL
We gave away five points right before the half. We knew we couldn't make mistakes like that.
DICK MCCONNELL
We played really well in overtime.
DICK MCCONNELL
We played McClintock over the summer and they are very quick and athletic. They're not very big, but...
DICK MCCONNELL
We played them really well the second time. The first time we played them, they had a shot to win it...
DICK MCCONNELL
Malcolm was tough at the end, and Adam played well, but we didn't play super. At least we won. I'm h...
DICK MCCONNELL
I thought we played pretty good. Everyone got in and saw some more time on the court.
DICK MCCONNELL
When we lost Adam last year, it really took the wind out of our sails for a while. I don't want to l...
DICK MCCONNELL
Adam gives us a guard who can rebound and is a real tough player. He's a big guard for us and gives ...
DICK MCCONNELL
The old section looks nothing like it used to.
ELAINE MCCONNELL
This is truly a place where there is something for everyone.
ELAINE MCCONNELL
Heuristic is an algorithm in a clown suit. It’s less predictable, it’s more fun, and it comes wi...
STEVE MCCONNELL
You can't say this plane stops at X number of feet. It depends on a lot of factors.
CLAY MCCONNELL
There are three gaming centers in Fort Collins, Greeley had none. I thought Greeley was a good place...
FRANK MCCONNELL
We're open, we're ready for business.
FRANK MCCONNELL
My biggest goal is to have it be safe and fun. I want people to feel like they can hang out.
FRANK MCCONNELL
All the guys are starting to hit their stride and I think that was pretty evident in last week's gam...
GREG MCCONNELL
The USM game was frustrating in that we just couldn't score.
GREG MCCONNELL
We still have two big regular season games this weekend that we cannot look past before we go into t...
GREG MCCONNELL
It's very clear, under anyone's scenario, that it's a massive, extensive undertaking regardless of w...
JACK MCCONNELL
The dairy farmers deserve better from the supermarkets.
JACK MCCONNELL
If you help make a mess, you have to help clean it up.
JACK MCCONNELL
It was very exciting when we went into the theater world to hear such good things about our Amanda.
JACK MCCONNELL
It is appropriate that, rather than getting involved in silly Nationalist arguments, we are effectiv...
JACK MCCONNELL
For these two individuals, one of whom knows how to make Governments change but the other knows how ...
JACK MCCONNELL
Do you know how to change the cylinder head gasket on a Mk II Ford Cortina?
JACK MCCONNELL
I don't trust him. He has wandering eyes!
JACK MCCONNELL
leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks<...
MARTY MCCONNELL
Mirror, mirror on the wall," She caught Beu's gaze in the reflection. "Who's the handsomest man of a...
LUCY MCCONNELL
It's hard training with two events in mind. I'll be glad to make the decision. It was still a bit ra...
LEE MCCONNELL
I knew I could build on Sunday's race,
LEE MCCONNELL
People are taking this storm quite seriously.
LEE MCCONNELL
We're very pleased with our performance, but the Poles have protested,
LEE MCCONNELL
But the heat was loaded - the Olympic champion, world champion and European champion were all in it....
LEE MCCONNELL
You keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have this facility.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL
This is always a joy. It's a hard time of year, but it's always our favorite time of year.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL
It gives the students an opportunity to work with teachers in an entirely different way.
KATHLEEN MCCONNELL
We have a pretty good lineup. Once we started hitting and scored a lot of runs, I think that helped ...
MICKEY MCCONNELL
There's a fine line between liberty and protection. And the more protection you try to give people, ...
RON MCCONNELL
He's well-rounded. He's not only a good basketball player, but he's a great kid as well.
TIM MCCONNELL
We need a type of patriotism that recognizes the virtues of those who are opposed to us. We must get...
FRANCIS JOHN MCCONNELL
We humans may be brilliant and we may be special, but we are still connected to the rest of life. No...
PATRICIA B. MCCONNELL
For us, it's like you just built a new house, and you're leaving a house that never quite fit. And w...
PRINCIPAL MARY MCCONNELL
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
MITCH HEDBERG
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
MITCH HEDBERG
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
MITCH HEDBERG
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
MITCH HEDBERG
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli...
MITCH HEDBERG
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
MITCH HEDBERG
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
MITCH HEDBERG
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
MITCH HEDBERG
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has...
MITCH HEDBERG
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
MITCH HEDBERG
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
MITCH HEDBERG
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
MITCH HEDBERG
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b...
MITCH HEDBERG
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w...
MITCH HEDBERG
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob...
MITCH HEDBERG
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
MITCH HEDBERG
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
MITCH HEDBERG
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s...
MITCH HEDBERG
People in the industry foresee a time in which, for many people, the only thing they'll need on ...
MITCH KAPOR
When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ...
MITCH DANIELS
I give Bill Gates an A for vision because, as a business person and a strategist, he's brilliant...
MITCH KAPOR
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g...
MITCH HEDBERG
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
MITCH HEDBERG
My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came...
MITCH ALBOM
People come down for baseball or football or hockey and drive by the refurbished Fox and State theat...
MITCH ALBOM
If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's goi...
MITCH ALBOM
My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ...
MITCH ALBOM
Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? ... He could be research. A huma...
MITCH ALBOM
You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean.
MITCH ALBOM
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ...
MITCH RATCLIFFE
Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a we...
MITCH ALBOM
You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense o...
MITCH ALBOM
Now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of th...
MITCH ALBOM
Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.
MITCH ALBOM
You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, y...
MITCH ALBOM
But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of goin...
MITCH ALBOM
I drive a beat-up Mercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek my identity in toug...
MITCH ALBOM
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy do...
MITCH ALBOM
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prin...
MITCH ALBOM
But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Som...
MITCH ALBOM
Death ends a life, not a relationship.
MITCH ALBOM
Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring t...
MITCH ALBOM
The reason kids like rock 'n roll is their parents don't.
MITCH MILLER
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl...
MITCH RATLIFFE
Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that
MITCH ALBOM
Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on ea...
MITCH ALBOM
People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our econ...
MITCH ALBOM