I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

Plastic surgery is a postmodern veil.

With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone clapping and going, 'Joan, wake up, it's all over and you're looking pretty'.

I've had a little plastic surgery. I've had a little lipo. I've had a little Botox. And you know what? None of it works. None of it.

I have not had any plastic surgery in any shape or form. No implants. And my hair is not dyed.