I'd rather be dead than think about death

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.