I'd rather be rich than stupid.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now

THE POOR AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "POVERTY" IS FILTH TO THE RICH AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "RICHES", BUT CLEANLINESS IS THE ONLY MARK OF ACCEPTANCE.

Nobody can be rich and stupid for more than one generation.

Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy.