If I could have half the career of Diane Sawyer, I'd be a happy woman.

If I could get the respect of 14-year-olds, I'm happy. They're the toughest audience.

If I could sing, I wouldn't be a guitarist.

If I could live in a cabaret, I would. If I could live in 'Moulin Rouge,' I would.

If I could remember the names of all these particles, I'd be a botanist.

They could never beat me in Springfield. I loved that old ballpark. If I could have pitched there all my career, I'd be a 300-game winner.