If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money.

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to

That was the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered.

As a young father it's important to remember that, when you're at the beach, there's a BIG difference between telling your five year old son to just go pee in the ocean and telling him to get in the water at least waist deep and then pee in the ocean.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.