If I want to know how I'm doing at work, I don't wait for a pat on the back; I ask the people who will give me a clear, objective opinion. When I need a real, arms-wrapped-around-me hug, I go to someone who does that. I stopped getting disappointed by my expectations from non-huggers.

I wanted a good relationship with my mother, and I realized I had a choice: Either I could spend all my time angry that she didn't give me the hugs I thought I needed, or I could understand that she hugs differently. It's not a spread-open-the-arms, 'come here' hug. She hugs by sheltering me from her worries.

Good words will not give me back my children.

If you give me Times Square, I want to give it back to the people.

And if you see me, smile and maybe give me a hug. That's important to me too.

I want the subject to be in control. Because they will give me something I couldn't possibly know about them.