If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian.

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.

I don't think I ever wanted to be a journalist - I was more interested in what comes from being a journalist.

Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.

I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian.