If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen
Related
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an...
WOODY ALLEN I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix.
DEYTH BANGER Life is weird and wonderful like that, is it not.
SONYA.E.WILLIAMS You can't be that or that or that... but you can try to behave as that...
So, what next!?...
DEYTH BANGER When living is too sweet and swanky, it may be very hard to appreciate the simplest things in life. ...
ERIK PEVERNAGIE Stairs to climb are difficult it takes time and effort and going down is easies job... what do I mea...
DEYTH BANGER What Fucks me... is that we both are the same... we all walk on the same path... but everything is a...
DEYTH BANGER Everyday somebody dies... in combat, in war in battle... in game everwhere... so far nowhere is safe...
DEYTH BANGER God is always on time, it may not be the time you are expecting, but hes on time. Just like he said ...
ARTHLENE LAUDAT LAWRENCE Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER Every time hes supposed to be here, hes showed up,
BRENDA JONES Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL Be a good guide, tell me what you see, are sure is that?
Please try to describe the picture as ...
DEYTH BANGER The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
ARUNDHATI ROY The problem with a lot of Indian boys and girls is that they do not approach their partner, they are...
APURVA GAGLANI The road to salvation is filled with many false dark turn-offs, if you take those roads they will le...
GARY F EVANS... Things that break - be they bones, hearts, or promises - can be put back together but will never rea...
JODI PICOULT I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI I believe that life is a journey towards God, and that no one has the right to insist that you go a ...
PAT BUCKLEY Even after the dehadhyas (the belief that 'I am the body') has gone, people will say, "I saw you eat...
DADA BHAGWAN If he is a God of sound judgment, that sound mind must be revealed in people who identify themselves...
SUNDAY ADELAJA What is it that makes you so angry, bothers you so deeply, that you're compelled to act?
CRAIG GROESCHEL Now is the time when you see people which you know... but they start ignoring you... and how do you ...
DEYTH BANGER I believe that dogma is often evil.
PAT BUCKLEY I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT This is my fundamental teaching: that there is no division between this and that. That is contained ...
OSHO The things of substance are the things that we need to focus on, but they are the things that seem t...
ELIZABETH ALRAUNE If we do not understand something we pretend it does not exist .Pretending that something does not e...
GARY F EVANS... People who pretend to be your friend lead you up a garden path by saying everything that you want to...
GARY F EVANS... That's SHIT!
How do you remove it?
You just put it inside the trash, easy as that.
DEYTH BANGER All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w...
JOAN DIDION We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It...
COLSON WHITEHEAD I believe that, as long as there is plenty, poverty is evil.
ROBERT KENNEDY As a theist I believe that God exists and that God creates.
PHILLIP E. JOHNSON Hes the smartest dog Ive ever had,
PETER GOULD Very few people have actually read Freud, but everyone seems prepared to talk about him in that Wood...
BILLY COLLINS Being present is being connected to All Things.
S. KELLEY HARRELL, M. DIV. [Senior Rob Hudson sustained his good form with a 3-under par 33 to earn medalist honors for the var...
ALEX ADAMS I had forgotten that God, or the world, or whatever carves the rules in stone, doesn't give you time...
TANA FRENCH If you say that money is God, then you should also remember that it is also the root of all evil.
VIKRANT PARSAI No one will remember the kick in the balls if hes bleeding everywhere...
NATHAN ELMO MELO I hope that I can maintain my skating as long as possible.
KATARINA WITT Who am I? I am that. Nothing can change that. Words, intellect and concepts can never reach that. It...
AMIT RAY Hes doing better than what we thought.
JAMIE KING If you can control a mans thinking, you dont have to worry about his actions. If you can determine w...
CARTER WOODSON Off this fucking predictable soap opera, this will happen now, then that, then that and you say that...
DEYTH BANGER A man who waits to believe in action before acting is anything you like, but hes not a man of action...
GEORGES CLEMENCEAU I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES That's going to be VEEEEEEERYYYY Nasty....
DEYTH BANGER Of another lie "You said that you will be with me...", "Everything what I want I will get..", but???...
DEYTH BANGER Speed Reader: Nothing more than… "Getting knowledge in a fast way".
(Note: What's that?...
DEYTH BANGER Hey... you gonna ignore me like that?
...
Forever?
...
You gonna rej...
DEYTH BANGER We can play now… just do that and that little piece of kinky thoughts… few perverts add and you ...
DEYTH BANGER Why try to have pigs fly
When ducks already can
_ Why try to have pigs fly
When ducks already can
ELLA C. Jesus asks me to loosen my grip on the things that matter to me. It’s only then He can fill my han...
ANUSHA ATUKORALA Mani nogurdina lielās lietas un norises. Es meklēju lielās norises mazajās.
IMANTS ZIEDONIS I believe that in this world it is impossible to understand God.
PAT BUCKLEY I didn't care for humans at 16 and it hasn't gotten any better. They say one thing and do another. I...
BOBBY W. MILLER You can say that you dont care what anyone thinks about you, but in the end, its all that really mat...
TIFFANY GARLAND Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as n...
JUDITH VIORST Sauces or peppers that arent hot, are like books that dont entretain (or vice versa).
JAIME TENORIO VALENZUELA There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it tur...
C.S. LEWIS The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say a...
HENRY JENKINS People will then often say, But surely it's better to remain an Agnostic just in case?' This, to me,...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I hope that memory is valued - that we do not lose memory.
STUDS TERKEL From 1 to 18 is the holly worst parts of your life, you are caged and you can't do anything times pa...
DEYTH BANGER I could forget that part, but it had to have been true.
DEB CALETTI If you had a friend you refused to talk to, eventually you couldn't keep calling that person a frien...
CRAIG GROESCHEL Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y...
THEHEALTHFOODGURU I believe that when you put a smile out there, you get a smile back.
HEIDI KLUM You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a bloodthirsty tyrant, but if the...
DAN BARKER If we believe that god is the creator of evil, maybe there is evil also in heaven, if that is the ca...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA I believe that I have such a vanilla life.
JEN LANCASTER I believe that I have always told the truth.
ADOLFO AGUILAR ZINSER I believe that there may well be a personal God out there - not a monotheistic God - that has got it...
CLIVE SINCLAIR I'm not a natural writer like, let's say - I'm not talking about Arthur Miller; that'...
GENE WILDER As a philosopher, if I were speaking to a purely philosophic audience I should say that I ought to d...
BERTRAND RUSSELL You see, that's the whole point of being in government. If you don't like something you simply make ...
RICHARD CURTIS The worst mistake you can make is underrating your enemy. Assuming that they're evil - I think i...
ALAN DERSHOWITZ Woody Allen is really the ultimate. I love that he believed in himself enough to do what he did. And...
MINDY KALING God is trying to tell us that there is a shift taking place in the body of Christ especially in the ...
SUNDAY ADELAJA We know what to expect from Woody. I love Woody. I still talk to Woody. But when I go out there to f...
ALBERT PUJOLS I believe that you can always learn from observation.
TAMARA TUNIE When I went to Paris, I had a lot of ideas about it that were formed in the sort of ether that flows...
ROSECRANS BALDWIN I believe that God made this wonderful universe and all that exists.
PAT BUCKLEY I believe that whatever comes at a particular time is a blessing from God.
A. R. RAHMAN I believe that the greatest form of prayer is praise to God.
BILLY GRAHAM I believe that all things are possible under God.
BROOKE ELLIOTT White Zombie was a bunch of kids with the worst equipment playing in a basement. But that is what is...
ROB ZOMBIE The wrath of God is never an evil wrath. God gets angry because he loves people like a mother would ...
CRISS JAMI It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL I’d never have predicted I would lose touch with him – before, that is, I did. I thought I had m...
SARAH MOORE FITZGERALD Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble ...
JUDITH VIORST There is another thing about a kid, if we all remember, that you have an attraction to evil. Evil is...
THOMAS FORAN Yesterday, I was feeling fine... I was into the mood of eating... drinking... but today... I am not ...
DEYTH BANGER Tinder, sucks… few matches I got.... How FUCKING odd is that.
DEYTH BANGER My voice is never much louder than a ripple, but even small voices sound loud when you talk about th...
NATALIE LLOYD Family is the theatre of the spiritual drama, the place where things happen, especially the things t...
G.K. CHESTERTON (Dear kirk hammet, what kind of vegitarian are you? a lactose vegitarian, a ovum vegitarian, or a ve...
JAMES HETFIELD
More Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN