If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.


Anonymous

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Words," he said, "is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life.
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Graffiti is a pathetic attempt at anonymous recognition.
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Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
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Smile while you still have teeth.
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Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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I can't wait for that to never happen.
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Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
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Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
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I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
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Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
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Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS
An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
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My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
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Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
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You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
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Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
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It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
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If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
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Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
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