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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.


Robert Benchley

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ADRIENNE BAILON I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
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PAUL TSONGAS In the Einstein way, I can't believe in a universe that doesn't have some sort of prime move...
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More Robert Benchley

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
ROBERT BENCHLEY In America there are two classes of travel--first class, and with children.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fa...
ROBERT BENCHLEY This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promot...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
ROBERT BENCHLEY It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up bec...
ROBERT BENCHLEY For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, w...
ROBERT BENCHLEY A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
ROBERT BENCHLEY A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
ROBERT BENCHLEY It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I coudn't give it up beca...
ROBERT BENCHLEY The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
ROBERT BENCHLEY It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because...
ROBERT BENCHLEY The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
ROBERT BENCHLEY As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
ROBERT BENCHLEY I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one t...
ROBERT BENCHLEY There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the w...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
ROBERT BENCHLEY I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding t...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a len...
ROBERT BENCHLEY I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Go jogging? What, and get hit by a meteor?
ROBERT BENCHLEY The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
ROBERT BENCHLEY The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is...
ROBERT BENCHLEY We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fa...
ROBERT BENCHLEY For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, w...
ROBERT BENCHLEY In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with childen.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding ...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not pres...
ROBERT BENCHLEY A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three tim...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
ROBERT BENCHLEY An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter wha...
ROBERT BENCHLEY In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curio...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse ...
ROBERT BENCHLEY I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing p...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment...
ROBERT BENCHLEY The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat...
ROBERT BENCHLEY I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't t...
ROBERT BENCHLEY The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machiner...
ROBERT BENCHLEY It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up bec...
ROBERT BENCHLEY I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. I...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compoundi...
ROBERT BENCHLEY The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a len...
ROBERT BENCHLEY In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Then it's merrily, merrily, merrily, whoa! To the old gray church they come and go, Some to be marri...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present ...
ROBERT BENCHLEY So who's in a hurry?
ROBERT BENCHLEY In America,
ROBERT BENCHLEY STREETS FULL OF WATER. PLEASE ADVISE.
ROBERT BENCHLEY I didn't ought to have went
ROBERT BENCHLEY There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into two and those who don...
ROBERT BENCHLEY A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still kee...
ROBERT BENCHLEY There is something about saying "Ok" and hanging up the receiver with a bang that kids a man into fe...
ROBERT BENCHLEY It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up bec...
ROBERT BENCHLEY I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
ROBERT BENCHLEY A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Death ends a life, not a relationship.
ROBERT BENCHLEY It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation
ROBERT BENCHLEY After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
ROBERT BENCHLEY Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
ROBERT BENCHLEY One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.
ROBERT BENCHLEY Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
ROBERT BENCHLEY There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.
ROBERT BENCHLEY 'Why don't you step out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?'
ROBERT CHARLES BENCHLEY If we choose to walk into a forest where a tiger lives, we are taking a chance. If we swim in a rive...
PETER BENCHLEY Sharks don't target human beings, and they certainly don't hold grudges.
PETER BENCHLEY Almost any shark, three or four feet long, could kill a human being if it chose to do it. It could m...
PETER BENCHLEY Without the oceans there would be no life on Earth.
PETER BENCHLEY If man doesn't learn to treat the oceans and the rain forest with respect, man will become extin...
PETER BENCHLEY We are already perilously close to killing off the top of the oceanic food chain - with catastrophic...
PETER BENCHLEY We do not just fear our predators, we are transfixed by them. We are prone to weave stories and fabl...
PETER BENCHLEY A human being is still more likely to die of a bee sting, snake bite or, Lord knows, automobile acci...
PETER BENCHLEY Without sharks, you take away the apex predator of the ocean, and you destroy the entire food chain.
PETER BENCHLEY If you take away the predators in the prairies and the national parks, you suddenly have an explosio...
PETER BENCHLEY In America there are two classes of travel -- first class, and with children.
HORACE BENCHLEY I believe implicitly that every young man in the world is fascinated with either sharks or dinosaurs...
PETER BENCHLEY Writing is sweat and drudgery most of the time. And you have to love it in order to endure the solit...
PETER BENCHLEY We provoke a shark every time we enter the water where sharks happen to be, for we forget: The ocean...
PETER BENCHLEY Spielberg certainly made the most superb movie; Peter was very pleased. But Peter kept telling peopl...
WENDY BENCHLEY Since writing JAWS, I've been lucky enough to do close to forty television shows about wildlife ...
PETER BENCHLEY I hope that 'Jaws' will have brought sharks into the public interest at a time when we despe...
PETER BENCHLEY In a deeply tribal sense, we love our monsters, and I think that is the key to it right there. It is...
PETER BENCHLEY I don't believe in blaming inanimate objects for anything.
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PETER BENCHLEY You're much more likely to be attacked by lightning or by your own toilet than you are by a shark,
PETER BENCHLEY What was it? What could it--

His last thought was surprise.
PETER BENCHLEY You're gonna need a bigger boat.
PETER BENCHLEY But no one has found one buried on land; this was quite a surprise to everybody.
ELIZABETH BENCHLEY It's possible that it's one of the earliest ships.
ELIZABETH BENCHLEY Fascinations breeds preparedness, and preparedness, survival.
PETER BENCHLEY He cared very much about sharks. He spent most of his life trying to explain to people that if you a...
WENDY BENCHLEY We don't have plans to excavate the entire ship. It's going to be very expensive because it's so dee...
ELIZABETH BENCHLEY Reputations rise and fall almost as regularly as the tides.
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PETER BENCHLEY The past always seems better when you look back on it than it did at the time. And the present never...
PETER BENCHLEY The fish was an enemy. It had come upon the community and killed two men, a woman, and a child. The ...
PETER BENCHLEY There's nothing in the sea this fish would fear. Other fish run from bigger things. That's their ins...
PETER BENCHLEY In the next couple of years, part of every film's process is going to be to adjust the images. A...
ROBERT ZEMECKIS A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins...
ROBERT FROST Robots may cut down on infection and mean a consultant can see more patients, but wouldn't you r...
ROBERT WINSTON I was always handsome under all the fat.
ROBERT ILER In California in the early Spring, There are pale yellow mornings, when the mist burns slowly into d...
ROBERT HASS Just like any business is a living, breathing thing, an entrepreneur has to be able to adapt over ti...
ROBERT HERJAVEC Most businesses think that product is the most important thing, but without great leadership, missio...
ROBERT KIYOSAKI It's 5 P.M. at the office. Working fast, you've finished your tasks for the day and want to ...
ROBERT POZEN The museum spreads its surfaces everywhere, and becomes an untitled collection of generalizations th...
ROBERT SMITHSON I love being funny! I started in the theater when I was 9 and, believe it or not, always played the ...
ROBERT KNEPPER Laziness is a secret ingredient that goes into failure. But it's only kept a secret from the per...
ROBERT HALF In the final analysis, poverty is a condition of helplessness - of inability to cope with the condit...
ROBERT KENNEDY I come from a family that has always emphasized and enjoyed sports - golf, tennis, football, basebal...
ROBERT KENNEDY Where aspirations outstrip opportunities, law-abiding society becomes the victim. Attitudes of conte...
ROBERT KENNEDY Even as my father grew up in Boston, Massachusetts, signs told him: 'No Irish Need Apply.'
ROBERT KENNEDY I have told friends and supporters who are urging me to run that I would not oppose President Johnso...
ROBERT KENNEDY It is one thing to open the schools to all children regardless of race. It is another to train the t...
ROBERT KENNEDY Ultimately, Communism must be defeated by progressive political programs which wipe out the poverty,...
ROBERT KENNEDY A high standard of living cannot remain the exclusive possession of the West - and the sooner we can...
ROBERT KENNEDY If I get to be president, what can I do anyway? With Congress and the press, what chance do I have t...
ROBERT KENNEDY Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedo...
ROBERT KENNEDY Satellite communications connect television screens in Japan with television cameras in England, and...
ROBERT KENNEDY To the extent that laws are founded on morality and on logic, they can lead men's hearts and min...
ROBERT KENNEDY I am ashamed to report that my father, who is 73, has never been beaten by any of his four sons in g...
ROBERT KENNEDY Let me make it clear that the Youth Employment Opportunities Act of 1961 is not primarily concerned ...
ROBERT KENNEDY Our scientists grapple with the difficulties of placing a man on the moon, but the immediately troub...
ROBERT KENNEDY American books reflect our common heritage with many other nations and their influence upon our cult...
ROBERT KENNEDY Within the United States, we have put great emphasis upon political freedoms. Because it has been ou...
ROBERT KENNEDY In the long run, a flexible sentencing procedure which works to rehabilitate offenders offers the be...
ROBERT KENNEDY It is easy to overlook the importance of the young in underdeveloped countries. It is the natural co...
ROBERT KENNEDY The ultimate relationship between justice and law will be an eternal subject for speculation and ana...
ROBERT KENNEDY Freedom possesses many meanings. It speaks not merely in terms of political and religious liberty bu...
ROBERT KENNEDY I thought they'd get one of us, but Jack, after all he's been through, never worried about i...
ROBERT KENNEDY The free way of life proposes ends, but it does not prescribe means.
ROBERT KENNEDY Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice between fellow human beings. He died in...
ROBERT KENNEDY I do not run for the presidency merely to oppose any man, but to propose new policies. I run because...
ROBERT KENNEDY When our forbears - yours and mine - came to America, they came because this country promised them s...
ROBERT KENNEDY Those who challenge the law in one or another of its aspects weaken the whole legal structure of soc...
ROBERT KENNEDY The fact that free men persist in the search for the truth is the essential difference between Commu...
ROBERT KENNEDY There has been far too much hypocrisy in the field of civil rights. It is easy enough to give rousin...
ROBERT KENNEDY It is the right of government to protect the weak; it is the right of the weak to find in their cour...
ROBERT KENNEDY Now I can go back to being ruthless again.
ROBERT KENNEDY The poor man looks upon the law as an enemy, not as a friend. For him, the law is always taking some...
ROBERT KENNEDY We know that we cannot live together without rules which tell us what is right and what is wrong, wh...
ROBERT KENNEDY I can understand the Chinese Wall: it was built as a defense against marauders. But a wall such as t...
ROBERT KENNEDY From the first moment of independence, the United States has been dedicated to innovation as a way o...
ROBERT KENNEDY Desegregation of schools does not automatically transform them into better schools. It is only a ste...
ROBERT KENNEDY In truth, the world is now a seamless web from which no nation, large or small, young or old, can di...
ROBERT KENNEDY We will find neither national purpose nor personal satisfaction in a mere continuation of economic p...
ROBERT KENNEDY But suppose God is black? What if we go to Heaven and we, all our lives, have treated the Negro as a...
ROBERT KENNEDY The leaders of the world face no greater task than that of avoiding nuclear war. While preserving th...
ROBERT KENNEDY The most significant civil rights problem is voting. Each citizen's right to vote is fundamental...
ROBERT KENNEDY People say I am ruthless. I am not ruthless. And if I find the man who is calling me ruthless, I sha...
ROBERT KENNEDY The world of sports knows no religious, racial or political differences. Athletes, from whatever lan...
ROBERT KENNEDY No one needs to tell me about the importance of the free press in a democratic society or about the ...
ROBERT KENNEDY I believe indeterminate sentencing can be extremely useful, but I also believe that any such system ...
ROBERT KENNEDY One of the great creative statesmen of our age was Franklin Roosevelt. He was creative precisely bec...
ROBERT KENNEDY Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy.
ROBERT HALF Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live.
ROBERT KENNEDY What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists, is not that they are extreme, but that th...
ROBERT KENNEDY Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator. And change has its enemies.
ROBERT KENNEDY Elections remind us not only of the rights but the responsibilities of citizenship in a democracy.
ROBERT KENNEDY When companies get together secretly to fix prices and attempt to eliminate competition, honest busi...
ROBERT KENNEDY The eradication of racial and religious prejudice in the United States - and in the rest of the worl...
ROBERT KENNEDY Yesterday, we sought telescopes good enough to see all the planets. Today, we seek vehicles good eno...
ROBERT KENNEDY I was the seventh of nine children. When you come from that far down you have to struggle to survive...
ROBERT KENNEDY In the last analysis, our every right is only worth what our lawyer makes it worth.
ROBERT KENNEDY The Gross National Product includes the destruction of the redwoods and the death of Lake Superior. ...
ROBERT KENNEDY If freedom makes social progress possible, so social progress strengthens and enlarges freedom.
ROBERT KENNEDY I believe that, as long as there is plenty, poverty is evil.
ROBERT KENNEDY Every American has the duty to obey the law and the right to expect that the law will be enforced.
ROBERT KENNEDY Everything that makes man's life worthwhile - family, work, education, a place to rear one's...
ROBERT KENNEDY Our generation was born during the turmoil following the First World War. That war marked the dividi...
ROBERT KENNEDY Circumstances of crimes vary. So do motives. And so do prospects for rehabilitation. The number of i...
ROBERT KENNEDY If any man claims the Negro should be content... let him say he would willingly change the color of ...
ROBERT KENNEDY Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community ge...
ROBERT KENNEDY The Gross National Product measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our lear...
ROBERT KENNEDY All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our t...
ROBERT KENNEDY We develop the kind of citizens we deserve. If a large number of our children grow up into frustrati...
ROBERT KENNEDY One-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.
ROBERT KENNEDY When you do well, everybody's after you, and sometimes the motives are legitimate, and sometimes...
ROBERT KRAFT Envy and jealousy are incurable diseases.
ROBERT KRAFT We don't mind having sanctions banning us from Europe. We are not Europeans.
ROBERT MUGABE We are no longer going to ask for the land, but we are going to take it without negotiating.
ROBERT MUGABE In most recent times, as the West started being hostile to us, we deliberately declared a Look East ...
ROBERT MUGABE Some people are contriving ways and means of making us collapse.
ROBERT MUGABE