If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.


Lemony Snicket

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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET
Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET
It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET
You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET
The phrase "in the dark," as I'm sure you know, can refer not only to one's shadowy surroundings, bu...
LEMONY SNICKET
but it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographs--all traces of our love will be scatt...
LEMONY SNICKET
This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS
If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference betwe...
LEMONY SNICKET
If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and the...
LEMONY SNICKET
Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.
LEMONY SNICKET
It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom o...
LEMONY SNICKET
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
LEMONY SNICKET
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
DANIEL HANDLER
'James and the Giant Peach' magnificently starts out Dahl's career as a blithe and droll...
PAUL DI FILIPPO
Male writers are thought of as "writers" first and then "men". As for female writers, they are first...
ELIF SHAFAK
Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
LEMONY SNICKET
Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET
Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
LEMONY SNICKET
Death is not scary enough and not so sweet life of the human foot leaves gentility.
IMAM ALI (AS)
In the 1970s and 1980s there was so little decent fiction for young people, but we're now in a g...
DAVID MITCHELL
Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword
Kit Snicket (a series of un...
LEMONY SNICKET
Our job as writers, as far as I can tell, is to attempt to express what seems inexpressible.
NICK FLYNN
Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
LEMONY SNICKET
Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
LEMONY SNICKET
As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn m...
LEMONY SNICKET
Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family...
LEMONY SNICKET
Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to...
LEMONY SNICKET
I just don't understand it," said Klaus, which was not something he said very often.
Violet nod...
LEMONY SNICKET
And if you can’t shape your life the way you want, at least try as much as you can not to degrade ...
CONSTANTINOS P. CAVAFIS
Artists don't talk about art. Artists talk about work. If I have anything to say to young writer...
PADDY CHAYEFSKY
What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. There are people we trust b...
STEPHEN R. COVEY
As far as I'm concerned, ageing is humanity's worst problem, by some serious distance.
AUBREY DE GREY
As always, I wrote songs. Some people cook or play sports. This is what I love to do. Sometimes I ca...
YAEL NAIM
We're looking forward to nailing down the details as quickly as we can. We'll continue to talk until...
ERIC RABE
As far as we are concerned, we Syria have not changed.
BASHAR AL-ASSAD
As far as the style, I was fascinated by surrealism.
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH
As far as I know, I have no pride of opinion.
ALBERT J. NOCK
Nothing trumps honesty, as far as I'm concerned.
DAVID KOECHNER
Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure
LEMONY SNICKET
“A writer soon learns that easy to read is hard to write ...”
CJ HECK
Leaders should lead as far as they can and then vanish. Their ashes should not choke the fire they h...
H. G. WELLS
I hate to say it, but there seems to have been some sort of dumbing down as far as movies go.
SAM NEILL
Some people talk about Haiti as being the graveyard of development projects.
PAUL FARMER
We need to start seeing privacy as a commons - as some kind of a public good that can get depleted a...
EVGENY MOROZOV
As far as I'm concerned, there is no subject that's off the table.
GARRY TRUDEAU
As far as festivals, nothing tops Cannes.
SASHA LANE
A BMW can't take you as far as a diploma.
JOYCE MEYER
Reach for it. Push yourself as far as you can.
CHRISTA MCAULIFFE
Television's going, as far as I'm concerned, downhill, and I'm an anachronism.
DICK VAN DYKE
Wearing corsets all the time was completely incapacitating, as far as digestion goes.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
As far as the customer is concerned, the interface is the product.
JEF RASKIN
As far as music, Louis Armstrong is one of my heroes.
JON BATISTE
As far as natural ability, I was always athletic.
TROY BROWN
That my philosophy of life is, as far as possible, one of enjoyment. I'm not nihilistic.
ALEXANDER MCCALL SMITH
Fame was not at all what it was cracked up to be, as far as I was concerned.
DAVE MADDEN
I always wrote. My parents are writers. It just seemed like something people did.
ZOE KAZAN
You deserve to be treated like the fucking warrior goddess you are—beautiful, strong, perfect. You...
JESSICA FLORENCE
And then of course, obviously as far as issues such as global warming, something has to be done on t...
DARYL HANNAH
In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN
But then all that died down and as far as casting was concerned it didn't really matter that I h...
TAYE DIGGS
We must strive to let go our life as we planned,so as to have life we are destined for & that comes ...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
The surrounding nature is the best erudite master to teach us the basics of living.
ANUJ SOMANY
Success is not a journey, it's a destination called satisfaction.
ANUJ SOMANY
Fleet the time carelessly, as they did in the golden world.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
LEMONY SNICKET
If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans - and I certainly hope you have...
LEMONY SNICKET
If one believes that words are acts, as I do, then one must hold writers responsible for what their ...
URSULA K. LE GUIN
As writers, we all have an agenda, but if you recognize that agenda in a book, then you've faile...
JANET EVANOVICH
As far as working out, I know exactly what I'm doing.
EVANDER HOLYFIELD
As far as groupies, I never saw any of them.
DAVY JONES
As far as my relationship with President Putin is concerned, it's fine.
GERHARD SCHRODER
Solace is my favorite song. It was the last song we wrote for the record. It was right when we reall...
BRANDON THOMAS
I pushed the envelope as far as it needed to be pushed, and now it's on the floor, and people se...
PRINCE
Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-gu...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Do I live as carelessly and worldly as unbelievers while professing to be a follower of Jesus? If so...
CHARLES SPURGEON
Always treat your students as if their parents were sitting beside them in the classroom.
VIKRANT PARSAI
People talk fundamentals and superlatives and then make some changes of detail.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
People talk fundamentals and superlatives and then make some changes of detail.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES JR.
I resent people who say writers write from experience. Writers don't write from experience, though m...
NIKKI GIOVANNI
As far as sustaining our popularity, I believe we can.
VINCE MCMAHON
In Paris, you're as far as possible from the land of pleasant smiles.
KANYE WEST
As far as my journal, I want to share tour life with my fans.
NATALIE GULBIS
We've actually eliminated Type II polio in the world, at least as far as we can tell.
SETH BERKLEY
Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach.
JOSEPH STALIN
As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther.
J. P. MORGAN
Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll be able to see farther.
THOMAS CARLYLE
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland.
DONALD TRUMP
You know, if it weren't for these fans, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did.
ADAM LAMBERT
As far as my notoriety or whatever, I haven't been the star of a hit film.
ALESSANDRO NIVOLA
I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.
ETHEL MERMAN
Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY
Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
LEMONY SNICKET
An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does
LEMONY SNICKET
"If cats could talk, they'd sing as Frank Sinatra. If dogs could talk, they'd act as Chris Farley".
ISABEL
I don't admire Freud as much as some people do. Imagine Shakespeare being aware of the Oedipal c...
NATHALIE SARRAUTE
When people first meet me, they're always like, 'What are you?' as far as ethnicity. And...
MALESE JOW
Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk ...
JUDY BLUME

More Lemony Snicket

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things ch...
LEMONY SNICKET
At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
LEMONY SNICKET
With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
LEMONY SNICKET
There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
LEMONY SNICKET
Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.
LEMONY SNICKET
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they a...
LEMONY SNICKET
Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
LEMONY SNICKET
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
LEMONY SNICKET
The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
LEMONY SNICKET
One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding su...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a li...
LEMONY SNICKET
Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, lik...
LEMONY SNICKET
Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tr...
LEMONY SNICKET
In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing...
LEMONY SNICKET
But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simp...
LEMONY SNICKET
Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
LEMONY SNICKET
One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and so...
LEMONY SNICKET
Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular in...
LEMONY SNICKET
Sometimes words are not enough.
LEMONY SNICKET
Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that hav...
LEMONY SNICKET
Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a danger...
LEMONY SNICKET
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
LEMONY SNICKET
If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful v...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into ...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will r...
LEMONY SNICKET
When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is tryin...
LEMONY SNICKET
A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking b...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
LEMONY SNICKET
Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
LEMONY SNICKET
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
LEMONY SNICKET
The world is quiet here.
LEMONY SNICKET
Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dream...
LEMONY SNICKET
Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because yo...
LEMONY SNICKET
Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of ho...
LEMONY SNICKET
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who i...
LEMONY SNICKET
The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'...
LEMONY SNICKET
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET
Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
LEMONY SNICKET
it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person...
LEMONY SNICKET
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that th...
LEMONY SNICKET
Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends
LEMONY SNICKET
The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
LEMONY SNICKET
The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
LEMONY SNICKET
A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give ...
LEMONY SNICKET
The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it migh...
LEMONY SNICKET
People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
LEMONY SNICKET
Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET
The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people...
LEMONY SNICKET
If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." LEMONY SNICKET Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have t...
LEMONY SNICKET
For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into some...
LEMONY SNICKET
The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET
The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginnin...
LEMONY SNICKET
Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
LEMONY SNICKET
Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable...
LEMONY SNICKET
A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and...
LEMONY SNICKET
Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
LEMONY SNICKET
It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
LEMONY SNICKET
Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind...
LEMONY SNICKET
To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Blinded following the Blindfolded
LEMONY SNICKET
Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things...
LEMONY SNICKET
He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you wh...
LEMONY SNICKET
I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hop...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pai...
LEMONY SNICKET
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
LEMONY SNICKET
It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getti...
LEMONY SNICKET
All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
LEMONY SNICKET
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
LEMONY SNICKET
You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
LEMONY SNICKET
If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part...
LEMONY SNICKET
Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time ...
LEMONY SNICKET
I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
LEMONY SNICKET
Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET
Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
LEMONY SNICKET
Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
LEMONY SNICKET
Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.
LEMONY SNICKET
There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
LEMONY SNICKET
There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, ma...
LEMONY SNICKET
The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great s...
LEMONY SNICKET
They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't under...
LEMONY SNICKET
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circum...
LEMONY SNICKET
What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a w...
LEMONY SNICKET
Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.
LEMONY SNICKET
It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair t...
LEMONY SNICKET
One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insati...
LEMONY SNICKET
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET
I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my ...
LEMONY SNICKET
I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my om...
LEMONY SNICKET
Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
LEMONY SNICKET
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
LEMONY SNICKET
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what...
LEMONY SNICKET
Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o...
LEMONY SNICKET
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
LEMONY SNICKET
All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now...
LEMONY SNICKET
We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc...
LEMONY SNICKET
You write poetry?" Klaus asked.
He had read a lot about poets but had never met one.
"Just...
LEMONY SNICKET
Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instan...
LEMONY SNICKET
Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.
LEMONY SNICKET
Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
LEMONY SNICKET
I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the ...
LEMONY SNICKET
We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are r...
LEMONY SNICKET
Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
LEMONY SNICKET
We weren't friends[...]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. The...
LEMONY SNICKET
...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
LEMONY SNICKET
Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET
...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as ...
LEMONY SNICKET
For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
LEMONY SNICKET
Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Ba...
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I never see you again, and I will l...
LEMONY SNICKET
I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've...
LEMONY SNICKET
I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means ...
LEMONY SNICKET
The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
LEMONY SNICKET
Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with t...
LEMONY SNICKET
But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, ...
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so clo...
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, per...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, an...
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
LEMONY SNICKET
Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to ...
LEMONY SNICKET
In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love t...
LEMONY SNICKET
Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, ...
LEMONY SNICKET
One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because...
LEMONY SNICKET
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y...
LEMONY SNICKET
Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a...
LEMONY SNICKET
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel...
LEMONY SNICKET
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi...
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat...
LEMONY SNICKET
An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon...
LEMONY SNICKET
You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th...
LEMONY SNICKET
Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
LEMONY SNICKET
It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ...
LEMONY SNICKET
The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an...
LEMONY SNICKET
Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively....
LEMONY SNICKET
I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a...
LEMONY SNICKET
Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
LEMONY SNICKET
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
LEMONY SNICKET
Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
LEMONY SNICKET
Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
LEMONY SNICKET
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
LEMONY SNICKET
It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET
But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
LEMONY SNICKET
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
LEMONY SNICKET
Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
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The map is not the territory.
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I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
LEMONY SNICKET
Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
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You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
LEMONY SNICKET
The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
LEMONY SNICKET
I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET
There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
LEMONY SNICKET
Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
LEMONY SNICKET
So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
LEMONY SNICKET
The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
LEMONY SNICKET
A mystery is solved with a story.
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
LEMONY SNICKET
Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
LEMONY SNICKET
There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET
Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
LEMONY SNICKET
They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
LEMONY SNICKET
How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
LEMONY SNICKET
I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
LEMONY SNICKET
There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
LEMONY SNICKET
being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
LEMONY SNICKET
Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
LEMONY SNICKET
There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
LEMONY SNICKET
It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
LEMONY SNICKET
The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
LEMONY SNICKET
When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
LEMONY SNICKET
They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
LEMONY SNICKET
The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
LEMONY SNICKET
I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
LEMONY SNICKET
Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
LEMONY SNICKET
Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
LEMONY SNICKET
It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
LEMONY SNICKET
There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
LEMONY SNICKET
It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought,...
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