If you are able to introduce a white person to a new cheese, it's like introducing them to a future spouse.

If you look into the footnotes of the business model for Apple Computer you'll see that they actually give the computers away for free; they just charge for the inflated sense of self-worth.

The first stage of camping always involves a trip to an outdoor equipment store like REI. These stores are well known for their abundance of white customers and their extensive inventory of things for white people to buy and only use once.

All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Just as Muslims have to visit Mecca, all white people must eventually renovate a house before they can be complete.

White people love rock climbing almost more than they love camping. This is
because the activity affords them the opportunity to be outside, to use a carabiner for something other than their keys, and to purchase a whole new set of expensive activity-specific clothing and accessories.

Melted cheese is a culinary veil...a foxhole where mediocrity can hide.