If you can lick your own elbows, you're ET's cousin

If you say 'shit happens' I am just gonna have to say 'guess you're not toilet trained huh'.

If you can’t beat em, buy em out.

If you can’t do it with a 'click', it must be one of those things they call impossible to do.

My dad's very creative. I am the proof.

Walk a mile in my shoes, and you'll know I have really small feet.