If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

If you're a fish swimming against the current, you will soon be electrocuted.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.