If you learn to laugh at yourself, you'll be entertained for a lifetime.

Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.

(About sweeping)....
What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!

Science is not about what’s true. It’s about what people with originally diverse viewpoints can be forced to believe by way of public evidence.

I went from wanting to lick his dimples to wanting to get the hell away from him.