If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.


Terry Pratchett

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset cos' they act l...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Its a funny thing, I noticed that when people are joking theyre usually dead serious, and when theyr...
JIM MORRISON
theyre missing whole streets.
SAM WRIGHT
Everyone who could have got away did. Its really upsetting to see. The only people left are the ones...
IAN WILLIAMSON
Theres a reason why theyre not amateurs anymore.
ALEX HAMILTON
Decisions are the endless uncertainties of life that we'll not know if theyre right until the very e...
LILY COLLINS
The consequences that cause people to do their best every day occur every day. Delayed rewards are f...
AUBREY DANIELS
Auschwitz begins wherever someone looks at a slaughterhouse and thinks: theyre only animals.
THEODOR ADORNO
Splits generally are positive for stocks if theyre done at the right time. The timing on this one lo...
IAN WITTERS
The events that happen in our lives make us who we are ,we can either give in to them and let them w...
GARY F EVANS...
Most everybody needs clothes. Theyre going to need clothing--jeans, T-shirts, socks, the whole thing...
CAROL JONES
Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell...
WILLIAM SAROYAN
Life is the hardest game you will ever play, After all nobody ever makes it out alive
TIMOTHY BROOKS
We have all been embroiled in it and if they are getting nearer to a selection then great because it...
ALAN CURBISHLEY
I knew Terry never stays out all night.
SONIA MACK
I stopped thinking about it after trying to figure out what are the lessons learned, and there are s...
KALPANA CHAWLA
It's better to get a rosebud while you're alive than a whole bouquet after you're dead.
HOME RUN BAKER
All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. A...
CORMAC MCCARTHY
Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them-especially if they were about a thousa...
J.D. SALINGER
It doesn’t mean you are alive because you are out of bed but you are probably dead if you are in b...
VIKRANT PARSAI
People might be more afraid to drive after they drink because they might be stopped by a roadblock.
BRIAN NEARY
The Empire's got something worse than whips all right. It's got obedience. Whips in the soul. They o...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Es gab einige Dinge, die selbst hier zu Einigkeit führten: keine weiteren Grundsatzerklärungen, ke...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Es gefiel ihm nicht, daß ER zurück und auch noch zornig war. Wenn irgend etwas, das Großbuchstabe...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Meistens herrschte die betäubende Stille von menschlichen Gehirnen, die sich allmählich in Schmelz...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nun, wenn du siehst, wie etwas aus dem Meer kriecht und zu atmen versucht… Sag ihm, es sei die Mü...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Einige Leute« – der kleine Mann blickte skeptisch auf die vorbeiströmende Basismaterie – »ins...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Natürlich dauerte es eine Weile, bis alles kompliziert genug wurde, um Gaswolken, Galaxien, Planete...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Er entschied, noch einmal die Wahrheit zu sagen. Es war eine völlig neue Taktik für ihn, und viell...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Truhe hatte eine ganz einfache Strategie, um mit Dingen fertig zu werden, die sich zwischen ihr und ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Inzwischen hätten sie Bürokratie und Steuern erfinden können, um die Bürger mit wahrem Kummer zu...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Warum sagst du immer wieder Dingsbums?« wandte sich Rincewind an den Vogel. »Begrenzter Dingsbums...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In Begleitung von erlesenen Schmerzen.« Rincewind zögerte. Er war ziemlich sicher, die Bedeutung d...
TERRY PRATCHETT
All issues have been sorted out and a decision has been taken.
PRAFUL PATEL
We're still sorting it all out, ... But if we didn't take a strong stance, do we think something lik...
SUSAN GRAY
The thing i hate most about rock and roll is the tie dyed tshirts, unless theyre died with blood and...
KURT COBAIN
Time is always moving and as it moves day night, night day the motion of time is clear, to many peop...
GARY F EVANS...
Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and y...
LOUIS C. K.
Her hormones slipped into their sexy underwear with a grin.
JENNIFER SCHMIDT
She understands all at once, with a small shock, exactly what it is she always needed to tell Harlan...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER
We bounced heavily and then stopped. And there were bullets all around. There was no question in my ...
CAM MCLEAY
AT LAST, SIR TERRY, WE MUST WALK TOGETHER.
Terry took Death's arm and followed him through the ...
RHIANNA PRATCHETT
It should all be sorted out before the end of the season. He wants to stay and although we have not ...
MARTIN JOL
Realistically, most people have poor filters for sorting truth from fiction, and there’s no object...
SCOTT ADAMS
I definitely like sorting stuff out, and I have the enthusiasm to try and help.
BEN ELLIOT
The question is whether they can be sorted out in time for the talks deadline itself, but yes, I bel...
MITCHEL MCLAUGHLIN
David's mother would often tell him stories were alive. They weren't alive in the way people were al...
JOHN CONNOLLY
people who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don't, nothing will work o...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
If you don't break your ropes while you're alive do you think ghosts will do it after?
KABIR
Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
BRIAN CLOUGH
Sir Terry Pratchett - he was knighted in 2009, and on him it looked earned rather than entitled - wr...
NICK HARKAWAY
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had h...
MARK TWAIN
People always say that you can't please everybody. I think that's a cop-out. Why not attempt it? 'Ca...
KANYE WEST
Spione überall, wie?«Er sah sich in dem großen Raum um, und seine Aufmerksamkeit verweilte bei ei...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The important thing is not to shout at this point, Vimes told himself. Do not…what do they call it...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There are more people dead than alive; we all will be in the majority one day.
VIKRANT PARSAI
Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.
WILLIAM SAROYAN
There was nothing medieval people liked better, or did better, than sorting out and tidying up. Of a...
C.S. LEWIS
We have seen SARS stopped dead in its tracks,
GRO HARLEM BRUNDTLAND
They were all solid in the freestyle, but they were all different. Hilary chose the butterfly, which...
JIM CALLAHAN
Acceptance Is The Most Happiest Thing Than Expectation
BHARATH RAO KADAM
We keep things piled up inside, even the harshest response seems appropriate.
NCIS
I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when ...
J.D. SALINGER
The way President Abraham Lincoln is said to have handled a person who had a know-it-all attitude. L...
JOHN C. MAXWELL
The man or woman that believes their success soley rests on their actions is sorely mistaken.
JOHN LEACH
The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste...
WILLIAM SAROYAN
The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste...
WILLIAM SAROYAN
But that is what these people do - the Steves of this world - they all try and make something out of...
NATHAN FILER
The people of Northern Ireland have sorted out my whole life.
GEORGE BEST
know if they are alive or dead.
AARON NEVILLE
Alive or dead, the truth won't rest. Rise up while you can.
MIRA GRANT
Pleased to meet you," Tellin says, shaking me out of my reverie. "Lily told me much about you last w...
TERA LYNN CHILDS
But then I think, this happens sometimes, doesn’t it? People you have a history with, they won’t...
PAULA HAWKINS
I never know, when I start writing a story, what's going to happen, or how it will all get sorte...
JACQUELINE WOODSON
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
JOHNNY CARSON
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
JOHNNY CARSON
I guess it's out on the edge but it's a wonderful edge to play out on. And, with a playmate like Ter...
JEFF BRIDGES
The past is all holy to us; the dead are all holy; even they that were wicked when alive.
THOMAS CARLYLE
We are going to take them out dead or alive.
JUAN SANCHEZ
It has been difficult for all of us because Tim was and did everything. Getting it all sorted out wa...
JENNIFER MURPHY
It's all agreed. There are just a few things left to sort out. Most of them are already sorted out, ...
SOL CAMPBELL
Hopefully, next year if we can get everything sorted out and together.
MELANIE BROWN
The officers stopped the vehicle and requested the three occupants to get out of the car while they ...
SUPERINTENDENT JOSHUA GWALA
People always say that you can't please everybody. I think that's a cop-out. Why not attempt...
KANYE WEST
I have ideas that I think might be amusing, and I try them, and if they look right, I carry them out...
IRIS APFEL
Don't try to talk anyone out of concentrating his hatred on Ayn Rand or any other dead person. It ca...
JOHN MCCARTHY
If you take life at face value, it loses its luster pretty quickly. If you go after it, you get more...
CHRISTOPHER MELONI
They all know what we're doing (with out trap). They try to prepare for it but I don't know if they ...
CAMILLE LITTLE
I'm concerned that they might try to do that. Who [Bush] picks to replace Barreto will tell us what ...
LLOYD CHAPMAN
False hope is a terrible thing, if its the only thing keeping you alive you'll be dead by dawn.
CHARLIE RAE
But if we begin thinking about the world being over 100 million years old, then it's absolutely ...
THOR HEYERDAHL
Claire to Myrnin: "Do the guards at the mall know you're out?" He didn't look up. "That's very doubt...
RACHEL CAINE
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I assure you I will not kill you," said Inigo.
"I know that," said Vimes. "But will you try?
TERRY PRATCHETT
Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If death is all about parting with body then immortality is about being dead when alive.
AKSHMALA SHARMA
Lots of people feel more alive when they're riding a roller-coaster relationship. But while this...
TRACY MCMILLAN

More Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignor...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In all seriousness, people think that it's the ideas that are important. Well, everyone has idea...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.
TERRY PRATCHETT
A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money....
TERRY PRATCHETT
Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, becaus...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse.
"Right you are, sir!" said the serge...
TERRY PRATCHETT
This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brand...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no la...
TERRY PRATCHETT
They stole from rich merchants and temples and kings. They didn't steal from poor people; this was n...
TERRY PRATCHETT
William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."
Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling togeth...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identif...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" TERRY PRATCHETT If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's wha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The place where the story happened was a world on the back of four elephants perched on the s...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still g...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and tryi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?
TERRY PRATCHETT
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
TERRY PRATCHETT
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of goi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunders...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Few religions are definite about the size of Heaven, but on the planet Earth the Book of Revelation ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
TERRY PRATCHETT
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which migh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it f...
TERRY PRATCHETT
All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach sma...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surp...
TERRY PRATCHETT
[And there was the matter of Dick Turpin. It looked like the same car, except that forever afterward...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still aliv...
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Drag...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. People are always a little confused a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are mi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's still magic even if you know how it's done.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know whe...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally goo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented w...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes the gods have no taste at all. They allow sunrises and sunsets in ridiculous pink and blue...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while? Dea...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.
TERRY PRATCHETT
’I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the morning, if it wasn...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
TERRY PRATCHETT
This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.
TERRY PRATCHETT
...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
TERRY PRATCHETT
We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
TERRY PRATCHETT
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans --...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
TERRY PRATCHETT
DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Li...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his lif...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—species...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Something Vimes had learned as a young guard drifted up from memory. If you have to look alon...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the mus...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.
TERRY PRATCHETT
To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darknes...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and hom...
TERRY PRATCHETT
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"<...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended....
TERRY PRATCHETT
I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is grow...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the pr...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.
TERRY PRATCHETT
There was once a caustic comment from someone suggesting I was breeding a new race. Fans from differ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Al...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has h...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
TERRY PRATCHETT
You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that&#...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a m...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence o...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would muc...
TERRY PRATCHETT
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's be...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wron...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
TERRY PRATCHETT
Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Any true wizard, faced with a sign like 'Do not open this door. Really. We mean it. We're not kiddin...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood ha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Siren voices tell me, 'You don't have to keep going on.' And then you think, 'I'...
TERRY PRATCHETT
We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for...
TERRY PRATCHETT
He's bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.

In this he was echoing the P...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes the crime follows the punishment, which only serves to prove the foresight of the Great Go...
TERRY PRATCHETT
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world m...
TERRY PRATCHETT
And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.
TERRY PRATCHETT
That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all is trut...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly awar...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The living often don’t appreciate how complicated the world looks when you are dead, because while...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!
TERRY PRATCHETT
I like writing. I get cranky when I can't. Yes, I write books back to back, and I work very hard...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The baby boomers are getting older, and will stay older for longer. And they will run right into the...
TERRY PRATCHETT
We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 ye...
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know tha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouti...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It&#...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage...
TERRY PRATCHETT
And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everybody has somebody. It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You'r...
TERRY PRATCHETT
But what's worth more than gold?"

"Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heav...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Gnomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high-speed mouse. That's on...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the wo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Ginger: You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?... It's all the people who never f...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There's a door."
"Where does it go?"
"It stays where it is, I think.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.
TERRY PRATCHETT
In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I got quite annoyed after the Haiti earthquake. A baby was taken from the wreckage and people said i...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
TERRY PRATCHETT
No one's policing their own minds more than an author. You spend a lot of time in your own head ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a w...
TERRY PRATCHETT
At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I saved a man's life once," said Granny. "Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valle...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She had heard it said that, before you could understand anybody, you needed to walk a mile in their ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability wh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes af...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It was one of those problematic occasions with long silences, sporadic coughs, and people saying iso...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantasti...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Rincewind had been told that death was just like going into another room. The difference is, when yo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves ar...
TERRY PRATCHETT
"Why does everyone run toward a blood curdling scream?" mumbled the Senior Wrangler. "It is contrary...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence coul...
TERRY PRATCHETT
An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then...
TERRY PRATCHETT
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his l...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
TERRY PRATCHETT
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which migh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I...
TERRY PRATCHETT