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If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.


Iyanla Vanzant

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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN If you want to make God laugh, pray to him for wealth.
VIKRANT PARSAI If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
OSCAR WILDE If you think God doesn't hear you, get a hearing test because it's you that can't hear Him.
JIM GENOVESE If you tell them what they want to hear, they don't bother to try to see.
LIBBA BRAY If you want to make people weep, you must weep yourself. If you want to make people laugh, your face...
GIOVANNI JACOPO CASANOVA If God bores you, tell Him that He bores you, that you prefer the vilest amusements to His presence,...
FRANÇOIS FÉNELON You want my attention? Then tell me what i love to hear. If you don't know, find out
SOTONYE ANGA I like these words -- they seem to suggest action: If you hear a kind word spoken Of some worthy sou...
SOURCE UNKNOWN the only true way to prove that you have lost your inner child is if you don't laugh when you hear t...
AMANDA If you want to be a good lair, tell people what they want to hear. (From Hot dogs under The Dakota)
JOHANNES GOUWS Knowing God is not enough; you must make Him known to others. Through your living character, you tel...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR The news isn't there to tell you what happened. It's there to tell you what it wants you to hear or ...
JOSS WHEDON You can't tell your friend you've been cuckolded; even if he doesn't laugh at you, he may put the in...
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE If you really want to hear what someone says then listen with your eyes.
JEFFREY BENJAMIN If you want to hear the whole truth about yourself, make your neighbour angry.
VIKRANT PARSAI If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he ...
JACK HANDY If you want me to believe in God, you must make me touch him.
DENIS DIDEROT I had to stop traveling alone because I missed so many planes. When somebody runs up to you in the a...
IYANLA VANZANT Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperf...
IYANLA VANZANT It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putti...
IYANLA VANZANT For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and ...
IYANLA VANZANT In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ...
IYANLA VANZANT What I am doing; how I am being as I am doing it; and does it bring honor to my community? What is t...
IYANLA VANZANT What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or bre...
IYANLA VANZANT All things are lessons that God would have us learn.
IYANLA VANZANT I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I ...
IYANLA VANZANT You've got to know what your 'thing' is, and you've got to call it a 'thing,'...
IYANLA VANZANT Pain is pain, hurt is hurt, fear is fear, anger is anger, and it has no color.
IYANLA VANZANT You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guil...
IYANLA VANZANT You know that you've healed an issue when you can talk about it and you're not weeping, when...
IYANLA VANZANT Sometimes we pray in our heads and we never get a real opportunity to solidify what it is that we...
IYANLA VANZANT All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.
IYANLA VANZANT Everybody's got a 'thing.' Some 'things' are nice and quiet. Some 'things...
IYANLA VANZANT I took my kids everywhere. I didn't have money for child care, so I took them to college with me...
IYANLA VANZANT I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to st...
IYANLA VANZANT There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movem...
IYANLA VANZANT I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunda...
IYANLA VANZANT In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive lov...
IYANLA VANZANT I try not to set myself up as different or as a celebrity or special. I have a husband that can get ...
IYANLA VANZANT I wasn't ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so o...
IYANLA VANZANT What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself ...
IYANLA VANZANT At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also ...
IYANLA VANZANT I think as men begin to see things that address them, they will feel that they can relate. They can&...
IYANLA VANZANT Well the beauty of 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' is that men are in every show. To our surprise, som...
IYANLA VANZANT When you gossip, it's self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything star...
IYANLA VANZANT Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children....
IYANLA VANZANT If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are that you share the same fear as all other humans...
IYANLA VANZANT Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core o...
IYANLA VANZANT People say I've had a difficult time in life. I think I've had an exciting time in life.
IYANLA VANZANT You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of y...
IYANLA VANZANT I've always wanted people to know who they are from the inside. Then they can create the life th...
IYANLA VANZANT Order is the first law of heaven, and you have to have order to survive on Earth. Figure out what ha...
IYANLA VANZANT My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he becam...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm the person that I always was, but in terms of how I approach my living, I'm not the same...
IYANLA VANZANT Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about so...
IYANLA VANZANT The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack th...
IYANLA VANZANT At birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartil...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm moving into that eldership age, you know? I'm at the 'wise woman' age where it&#...
IYANLA VANZANT If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don't do can create the same regrets a...
IYANLA VANZANT When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Espec...
IYANLA VANZANT One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I c...
IYANLA VANZANT A stable and nurturing childhood is essential for the healthy psycho-emotional and spiritual develop...
IYANLA VANZANT My purpose is to teach and demonstrate what is possible. To demonstrate love of God and good. Rememb...
IYANLA VANZANT You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for your...
IYANLA VANZANT when you have something to do life will not allow you to ove foward until you do it.
IYANLA VANZANT Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.
IYANLA VANZANT I'd been taught not to like myself,because the people around me didn't, for whatever reason like me.
IYANLA VANZANT The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into d...
IYANLA VANZANT One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through re...
IYANLA VANZANT You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear...
IYANLA VANZANT Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.
IYANLA VANZANT Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.
IYANLA VANZANT When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be love...
IYANLA VANZANT In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie ab...
IYANLA VANZANT The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal th...
IYANLA VANZANT I really don't have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, hea...
IYANLA VANZANT Any time there is 'un-forgiveness' between people who love each other, there is suffering. A...
IYANLA VANZANT I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden yo...
IYANLA VANZANT a very powerful, although delicate, chemistry between the way Dr. Katz, Miss Britten and I work. I'm...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm old. I don't want to work this hard.
IYANLA VANZANT One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
IYANLA VANZANT You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
IYANLA VANZANT If you want people to behave as Christians advocate, ... you should tell them that God does not exis...
GEORGE MONBIOT If you want to annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them.
PIETRO ARETINO Mes poumons sont remplis de l'air pur mon esprit est ouvert et libéré, la sérénité remplit tous...
JACOB MAHURIEN I want to hear him say something. I want to hear him say I'm sorry. I don't think he can give you a ...
KAREN SUMMERS Your dreaming self seeks to tell you something your waking ears will not hear
JACQUELINE CAREY Wouldn't you feel better if he were hear to tell you?
JOEL ISAACSON I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd...
RACHEL VINCENT If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweate...
FRAN LEBOWITZ But there was something about this girl that made him want to hear her opinions on everything, hear ...
ADI ALSAID Dorian’s going to love this.”

She glared. “I swear to God, you tell him, and I’ll...
NALINI SINGH The next time somebody announces that he plans to get Medieval on your ass, tell him you're going to...
JAMES K. MORROW That boy is your company. And if he wants to eat up that tablecloth, you let him, you hear?
HARPER LEE I often laugh at Satan, and there is nothing that makes him so angry as when I attack him to his fac...
MARTIN LUTHER If you don't want your children to hear what you're saying, pretend you're speaking directly to them...
UNKNOWN I've never guided my life. I've just been whipped along by the waves I'm sitting in. I d...
JOHN HURT

More Iyanla Vanzant

I had to stop traveling alone because I missed so many planes. When somebody runs up to you in the a...
IYANLA VANZANT Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperf...
IYANLA VANZANT It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putti...
IYANLA VANZANT For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and ...
IYANLA VANZANT In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ...
IYANLA VANZANT What I am doing; how I am being as I am doing it; and does it bring honor to my community? What is t...
IYANLA VANZANT What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or bre...
IYANLA VANZANT All things are lessons that God would have us learn.
IYANLA VANZANT I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I ...
IYANLA VANZANT You've got to know what your 'thing' is, and you've got to call it a 'thing,'...
IYANLA VANZANT Pain is pain, hurt is hurt, fear is fear, anger is anger, and it has no color.
IYANLA VANZANT You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guil...
IYANLA VANZANT You know that you've healed an issue when you can talk about it and you're not weeping, when...
IYANLA VANZANT Sometimes we pray in our heads and we never get a real opportunity to solidify what it is that we...
IYANLA VANZANT All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain.
IYANLA VANZANT Everybody's got a 'thing.' Some 'things' are nice and quiet. Some 'things...
IYANLA VANZANT I took my kids everywhere. I didn't have money for child care, so I took them to college with me...
IYANLA VANZANT I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to st...
IYANLA VANZANT There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movem...
IYANLA VANZANT I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunda...
IYANLA VANZANT In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive lov...
IYANLA VANZANT I try not to set myself up as different or as a celebrity or special. I have a husband that can get ...
IYANLA VANZANT I wasn't ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so o...
IYANLA VANZANT What is it that would make a creature as fierce, majestic and powerful as a lion is, subject itself ...
IYANLA VANZANT At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also ...
IYANLA VANZANT I think as men begin to see things that address them, they will feel that they can relate. They can&...
IYANLA VANZANT Well the beauty of 'Iyanla: Fix My Life' is that men are in every show. To our surprise, som...
IYANLA VANZANT When you gossip, it's self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything star...
IYANLA VANZANT Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children....
IYANLA VANZANT If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are that you share the same fear as all other humans...
IYANLA VANZANT Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core o...
IYANLA VANZANT People say I've had a difficult time in life. I think I've had an exciting time in life.
IYANLA VANZANT You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of y...
IYANLA VANZANT I've always wanted people to know who they are from the inside. Then they can create the life th...
IYANLA VANZANT Order is the first law of heaven, and you have to have order to survive on Earth. Figure out what ha...
IYANLA VANZANT My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he becam...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm the person that I always was, but in terms of how I approach my living, I'm not the same...
IYANLA VANZANT Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about so...
IYANLA VANZANT The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack th...
IYANLA VANZANT At birth, we are like cartilage - soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartil...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm moving into that eldership age, you know? I'm at the 'wise woman' age where it&#...
IYANLA VANZANT If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don't do can create the same regrets a...
IYANLA VANZANT When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Espec...
IYANLA VANZANT One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I c...
IYANLA VANZANT A stable and nurturing childhood is essential for the healthy psycho-emotional and spiritual develop...
IYANLA VANZANT My purpose is to teach and demonstrate what is possible. To demonstrate love of God and good. Rememb...
IYANLA VANZANT You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for your...
IYANLA VANZANT when you have something to do life will not allow you to ove foward until you do it.
IYANLA VANZANT Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.
IYANLA VANZANT I'd been taught not to like myself,because the people around me didn't, for whatever reason like me.
IYANLA VANZANT The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into d...
IYANLA VANZANT One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through re...
IYANLA VANZANT You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear...
IYANLA VANZANT Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.
IYANLA VANZANT Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.
IYANLA VANZANT When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be love...
IYANLA VANZANT In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie ab...
IYANLA VANZANT The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal th...
IYANLA VANZANT I really don't have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, hea...
IYANLA VANZANT Any time there is 'un-forgiveness' between people who love each other, there is suffering. A...
IYANLA VANZANT I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden yo...
IYANLA VANZANT a very powerful, although delicate, chemistry between the way Dr. Katz, Miss Britten and I work. I'm...
IYANLA VANZANT I'm old. I don't want to work this hard.
IYANLA VANZANT One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
IYANLA VANZANT You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
IYANLA VANZANT I would love to go do movies; I would love to kind of delve into other things. I did do acting and m...
PAIGE VANZANT Winning my first UFC fight by a finish, I've never felt so accomplished in my life.
PAIGE VANZANT I gave up school. I gave up a really, really good job. I gave up a lot of stuff. I cut a lot of peop...
PAIGE VANZANT I think the hardest thing I went through in the UFC was my first loss. It was terrible. It was traum...
PAIGE VANZANT I was in culinary school for a little while, but it was just too hard to cut weight and cook at the ...
PAIGE VANZANT I needed something to challenge myself a little more. I found fighting, and it completely fit my per...
PAIGE VANZANT I do Athlete Devotion throughout all my fight camps. I am a Christian, so I fight with God first, an...
PAIGE VANZANT I am a huge wrestling fan. I would say The Rock is my favorite person to watch for obvious reasons.
PAIGE VANZANT There's a lot of girls out there that can relate to me. They can look at me and see themselves a...
PAIGE VANZANT CrossFit is just another thing I've become passionate about. I like to continue to make gains an...
PAIGE VANZANT I train for whatever happens. I'm prepared for wherever the fight goes.
PAIGE VANZANT When I'm training, I cater a little bit to my opponents.
PAIGE VANZANT I strictly want to beat every opponent I face, whether it's for a title or for a small show. The...
PAIGE VANZANT Sunday, I go to church; I take the day off. I rest.
PAIGE VANZANT My dad grew up wrestling. He knew Ken Shamrock, and I didn't know who he was at the time. So, he...
PAIGE VANZANT You can't go into the cage and not love it, and you can't go in there unprepared. You have t...
PAIGE VANZANT 'Dancing with the Stars' was a really great experience. People were definitely surprised tha...
PAIGE VANZANT There is a lot more to me than just being a crazy fighter.
PAIGE VANZANT I try to eat healthy for the most part. When I cut weight, I cut pretty much everything out. I don&#...
PAIGE VANZANT I've always been very competitive, and I've always had this desire to win my entire life. I ...
PAIGE VANZANT I definitely want to be an inspiration or a role model for all the little girls out there or anyone ...
PAIGE VANZANT I'm just going to be myself; there's no reason for me to try and go out there and put a cert...
PAIGE VANZANT You have to try to grow between every fight: get back in the gym and keep working hard and find the ...
PAIGE VANZANT I've always been a bubbly and energetic and happy person, but when I get upset, I get frustrated...
PAIGE VANZANT Honestly, at times, I still get bored. 'Dancing with the Stars' kept me busy, and that's...
PAIGE VANZANT I've been blessed; I've been getting so many amazing opportunities because of the UFC. I kno...
PAIGE VANZANT I am very much a girly girl as well as being this tough, athletic fighter. I grew up a tomboy. I got...
PAIGE VANZANT If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
RONNIE VANZANT I like ground and pound; I don't know if it is like a technique or discipline. I like to be on t...
PAIGE VANZANT