If you want to marry me, here's what you'll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.
And you must sew my holey socks,
And soothe my troubled mind,
And develop the knack for scratching my back,
And keep my shoes spotlessly shined.
And while I rest you must rake up the leaves,
And when it is hailing and snowing
You must shovel the walk...and be still when I talk,
And-hey-where are you going?


Shel Silverstein

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More Shel Silverstein

He has the obligation to society that any human being has. I don't think a satirist has any grea...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I cannot go to school today"
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"I have the measles and the mump...
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True story
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And catch the worm for your breakfast ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Magic
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Laurie danced with witches...
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I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
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Ins...
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Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
i made myself a snowball
As perfect as can be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet,
And le...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depe...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
He wasted his wishes on wishing.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar
A hoper a pray-er a magi...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
The Voice

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel th...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Listen to the mustn'ts child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn't haves, the impossi...
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I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead o...
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Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your c...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Oh the thumb-sucker's thumb
May look wrinkled and wet
And withered, and white as the snow,
...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white strips?
Or white with black strips?
And the zeb...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive,...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle<...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I'm making a list
I'm making a list of things I must say
For politeness,
And goodness...
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POINT OF VIEW Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless Christmas dinner's dark and blue When you sto...
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Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell m...
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There's a great myth about cartoonists, writers and people that are on TV.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
It's always a nice feeling, having people think that you feel things much deeper than you're...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you want to find out what a writer or a cartoonist really feels, look at his work. That's eno...
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Ol' man Simon, planted a diamond. Grew hisself a garden the likes of none. Sprouts all growin' comin...
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And the tree was happy
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I believe that if you don't want to do anything, then sit there and don't do it, but don'...
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It's amazing the difference
A bit of sky can make.
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The Little Boy and the Old Man

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Sai...
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Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to ...
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Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the on...
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Said the little boy, Sometimes I drop my spoon.
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I've discovered a way to stay friends forever -
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When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the ...
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I'd rather play tennis than go to the dentist.
I'd rather play soccer than go to the doctor. SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I keep meeting all the right people
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Standing is stupid,
Crawling's a curse,
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How much good inside a day?
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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And if I die before I wake, SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If we meet and I say, "Hi,"
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If you ask me how I feel,
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There are no happy endings, endings are sad-so let's have a happy beginning and a happy middle.
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It's all the same to the clam.
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There's a Polar Bear
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He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With ...
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One day he said, "I'll tell this town
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And he told th...
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If you have to dry the dishes
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He was almost there, when...Smash! Crash! Bash! He slid down and mashed into engine hash the little ...
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I myself do not believe in explaining anything.
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Imagine - four years you could have spent travelling around Europe meeting people, or going to the F...
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Underneath my outside face
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She had blue skin,
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... and she loved a boy very, very much-- even more than she loved herself.
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A Light in the Attic,
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God says to me with kind of a smile,"Hey how would you like to be God awhileAnd steer the world?""Ok...
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If the track is tough and the hill is rough, THINKING you can just ain't enough!
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God says to me with kind of a smile,
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Rockabye Baby, in the treetop
Dont you know a treetop
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And who ...
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All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
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Talkin' 'Bout The Things
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"There Is A Voice Inside Of You
That Whispers All Day Long,
"I Feel That This Is Right For M...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Rockabye Baby, in the treetop
Dont you know a treetop
is no safe place to rock?
And w...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
When the light turns green, you go.When the light turns red, you stop.But what do you do when the li...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, "where the heck's the toilet plunger gon...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
This bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gyp...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I know a way to stay friends forever, There's really nothing to it, I tell you what to do, And you d...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Have you been to The Land of Happy,Where everyone's happy all day,Where they joke and they singOf th...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
All The Woulda-Coulda-ShouldasLayin' In The Sun,Talkin' 'Bout The ThingsThey Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda D...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bea...
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Ricky was "L" but he's home with the flu,Lizzie, our "O," had some homework to do,Mitchell, "E" prob...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If the track is tough and the hill is rough, THINKING you can just ain't enough!
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. For I hear a...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
There Is A Voice Inside Of YouThat Whispers All Day Long,"I Feel That This Is Right For Me,I Know Th...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where e...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
There is a place where the sidewalk ends.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
TREE HOUSE
A tree house, a free house,
A secret you and me house,
A high up in the le...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
​Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The I...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you were only one inch tall, you'd ride a worm to school.
The teardrop of a crying ant would...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
This boat that we just built is just fine -
And don't try to tell us it's not
The sides ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black And the dark street winds and bends.
Past t...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
INVISIBLE BOY
And here we see the invisible boy
In his lovely invisible house,
Feedin...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
But all the magic I have known
I've had to make myself.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Just Me, Just Me

Sweet Marie, she loves just me
(She also loves Maurice McGhee).
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Ricky was "L" but he's home with the flu,
Lizzie, our "O," had some homework to do,
Mitche...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
My beard grows down to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair
Around my b...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
ALICE
She drank from a bottle called DRINK ME
And she grew so tall,
She ate from a pl...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-e...
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Are wild strawberries really wild? Will they scratch an adult, will they snap at a child? Should you...
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If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain't enough!
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
So I'm all of love that could make it today.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
She had blue skin. And so did he. He kept it hid, And so did she. They searched for blue Their whole...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle throug...
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All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' In The Sun,
Talkin' 'Bout The Things
They Would...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
My skin is kind of sort of brownish pinkish yellowish white. My eyes are greyish blueish green, but ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Anything is possible. Anything can be.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Nobody loves me, nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy a...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-e...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
why can't you see i'm a kid', said the kid.
Why try to make me like you?
Why are you hurt ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
The bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gyps...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Although I cannot see your face
As you flip these poems awhile,
Somewhere from some far-of...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
You don't have to shoot me," says the young lion. "I will be your rug and I will lie in front of you...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
There is a place where the sidewalk ends,
And before the street begins,
And there the gr...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
No Difference

Small as a peanut,
Big as a giant,
We're all the same size
W...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I know a way to stay friends forever,
There's really nothing to it,
I tell you what to do,...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
I asked the Zebra,
are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Tell my I'm clever,
Tell me I'm kind,
Tell me I'm talented,
Tell me I'm cute,
Te...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
A spider lives inside my head
Who weaves a strange and wondrous web
Of silken threads and ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
If you're sloppy, that's just fine.
If you're moody, I won't mind.
If you're fat, that's f...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
So what if nobody came?
I’ll have all the ice cream and tea,
And I’ll laugh with mys...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Knock! knock!
who's there?
me!
me who?
that's right?
what's right?
mee...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Pirate Captain Jim
"Walk the plank," says Pirate Jim
"But Captain Jim, I cannot swim."
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
THE ONE WHO STAYED
You should have heard the old men cry,
You should have heard the biddie...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
One sister for sale,
One sister for sale,
One crying and spying young sister for sale
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Talked my head off
Worked my tail off
Cried my eyes out
Walked my feet off
Sang ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Talked my head off
Worked my tail off
Cried my eyes out
Walked my feet off
Sang ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Wealth is not a sign of dignity, dear Jonah. Only those who put faith above wealth are worthy of thi...
VIKTOR SHEL
Everyone has honour and a good name. It is the only sacred thing that every person has.
VIKTOR SHEL
It certainly seems they're casting a net much more widely than would be necessary to thwart somethin...
MARK SILVERSTEIN
Our girls have their confidence back. Now we're hoping to go play good tennis in Maryland.
DAN SILVERSTEIN
All the things that makes a new house a home, he's going after.
ALAN SILVERSTEIN
There should have been public consultation. It should have been debated in the House.
ALAN SILVERSTEIN
Why is the FBI conducting surveillance of a bookstore, monitoring the persons who gather there, and ...
MARK SILVERSTEIN
The only thing I could see in here that would stimulate sexual functioning is caffeine because it im...
JUDITH SILVERSTEIN
If you look around Denver, you see many of the buildings Al Cohen erected.
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
Norman Foster understands how to design a bold urban icon while simultaneously enhancing the environ...
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
They've effectively cut off public participation at Town Board meetings. Now the public doesn't get ...
CAROL SILVERSTEIN
When the Town Board passes a bond for $2.55 million and then it goes up to $4.25 million, that's fis...
CAROL SILVERSTEIN
My guess is (it will be) about 300 years until computers are as good as, say, your local reference l...
CRAIG SILVERSTEIN
There's no question that the next series we have will not be at the same level as the first 13 match...
DAN SILVERSTEIN
We feel good about the win and know that even when we were losing, we were playing good tennis. We f...
DAN SILVERSTEIN
I don't really know the man my mother fell in love with. My dad was not a big part of my life for a ...
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
It was cool. I was surprised how relaxed I was. I broke my lace, so I didn't have time to worry abou...
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
Whirlwind is putting it nicely.
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
It was fun. I think for us this is really about the experience, and we're here to root on the other ...
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
I feel cool. I was surprised how relaxed I was.
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
I haven't experienced needing to be at such a high level for so long time, so it's been overwhelming...
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
I mean you looked at me, and you could tell something was wrong. But I also lied through my teeth. B...
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
I'm just thrilled; not everyone gets another chance to be a part of something really special.
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
Wow, I can't even talk. We really, really wanted it. I'm almost afraid to say how much we wanted it.
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
We really, really wanted this. We were afraid to say how much we wanted this.
JAMIE SILVERSTEIN
The Colorado statute, however, applies only to American flags, which raises another constitutional i...
MARK SILVERSTEIN
It is not practical to build super-tall office buildings in the post-9/11 world,
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
only concern right now is designing a safe and spectacular Freedom Tower in keeping with the well-es...
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
to the extent the demand is there.
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
I am thrilled with today's victory. But this is a win for all New Yorkers. Today's decision means an...
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
I would assume it will not look completely different,
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
Al Cohen was a builder of high-rise office buildings - buildings of consequence.
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
We have zero commitments for 7 because it is too early,
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
The mayor has frequently urged us to proceed as quickly as possible, ... I believe that New Yorkers ...
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
The city is not dead and can't be allowed to die, ... We owe [rebuilding] to our children and to our...
LARRY SILVERSTEIN
Sex sells, and those are great marketing, great advertising. There's no regulation of things like dr...
JUDITH SILVERSTEIN
I don't see anything in here that would cause sexual arousal or desire.
JUDITH SILVERSTEIN
There could have been some background to the rumor. And if not, Burma right now is at a point where ...
JOSEF SILVERSTEIN
The Burmese are retreating from the outside world. They are isolating themselves in a bunker mentali...
JOSEF SILVERSTEIN
That Janet Bacon was a criminal trespasser has been proved beyond a reasonable doubt. We must assess...
JEFFREY SILVERSTEIN
My client felt horrid about what happened, but he truly believed he acted appropriately at the time.
JEFFREY SILVERSTEIN
I'm really pleased that he is going to be returned to his family. Obviously, this incident was terri...
JEFFREY SILVERSTEIN
What's he doing here?
ROB SILVERSTEIN