I'm eleven, ... Eleven today. I can read it. I won't be able to understand it all, but if it's a good story, I'll like it.

Mr. Burns comes out and flips cigar ashes on his shoes, and makes up about 90 percent of what you hear.

I dazzle you with that footwork.

George Burns was the father I never had.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.