I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.


Groucho Marx

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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
Fair weather friends - Around when the sun is shining and now where to be found when its starts rain...
OLASOT
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
In London, the weather would affect me negatively. I react strongly to light. If it is cloudy and ra...
JERZY KOSINSKI
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE
Good weather for frogs. We've done it before when it's cold, but not when it's raining. We're just g...
DAVID CHANEY
I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
It's raining the entire first act when they're in London and it's kind of depressing.
BRUCE SEVY
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
Its never too early when it comes to weather
DONNA L. TASSOS
And thank God it is decent weather so people can walk. It's not raining, and we're not ruining peopl...
BOB BEDARD
All that I have done will be remembered when I am all said and done.
TRUMAINE M. PRESSLEY
There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian.
MURRAY ROTHBARD
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
I hate a song that makes you think that you are not any good. I hate a song that makes you think tha...
WOODY GUTHRIE
i'd rather people hate me for who i am then have them like me for who im not
KURT COBAIN
Thank god im not too cool for the safebelt.
KANYE WEST
Good are the Ethics, I wis; good absolute, not for me, though; / Good, too, Logic, of course; in its...
ARTHUR CLOUGH
Good are the Ethics, I wis; good absolute, not for me, though; / Good, too, Logic, of course; in its...
ARTHUR HUGH CLOUGH
When the weather is this good, it's hard not to run fast.
DAN BEARDSLEE
The weather plays a very big role. I have run very few races in the raining and the cold.
DAVID RUDISHA
When people do think about it is when the warm weather hits and it's too late. But it's not too late...
JANET CANGEMI
I like a man who's good, but not too good--for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
MAE WEST
It's been awhile since I played in this kind of hot, humid, almost-raining kind of weather.
HUNTER HAAS
If the best is possible, than good is never enough and only do the best.
ROBERT SIAHAAN
We'll go out when it's raining, but not after it's been raining all day.
BOB SCHNEIDER
If you feel stronger and good when the weather is sunny, and weaker and bad when the weather is clou...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN
The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
MARK VAN DOREN
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
GEORGE SANDERS
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
GEORGE SAUNDERS
I find it easier to write in the winter in Melbourne. When the weather is good you want to go out fo...
ADRIAN MCKINTY
Im okay Im okay now.
But you really need to listen to me
'cause im telling you the trut...
GERARD WAY
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thi...
KAREN DECROW
I hate to be angry because when I am, I am not.
WOHI PURANA
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
Obviously, it's frustrating when you get weather like this. And the (weather) forecast is not good f...
BOB WOOLMER
Today's college graduates take IM in the office for granted. If you protect your email systems but i...
ED GOLOD
We see a marked difference on days when there is good weather compared with days when the weather is...
AMY KUDWA
Dear Mornings,I know you hate me but don't you worry because I hate you too!
SONYA WATSON
I try not to worry about the weather too much.
DAN CREWS
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
[Though a brief downpour did threaten festival activities Wednesday, Mack said the weather forecast ...
GREG MACK
Everything with me is either worship and passion or pity and understanding. I hate rarely, though wh...
ANAïS NIN
Leaving North Korea is not like leaving any other country. It is more like leaving another universe....
HYEONSEO LEE
Im A Good Friend, But Im A Better Enemy.
DONALD C HALL
I love rainy and bad-weather days because this type of weather gives me a mental advantage, especial...
GARY KLEIN
Our life is a series of moments. Let them all go. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
NOW IS GOOD
The opposite of love is not hate, its apathy, when you simply don't bother about that person!
AMISH TRIPATHI
I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even kn...
J.D. SALINGER
When love is suppressed hate takes its place
HAVELOCK ELLIS
When love is suppressed hate takes its place.
HAVELOCK ELLIS
Its important to get good weather for our legs.
BRIAN GORBY
I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN
I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS
when I say I “hate” religion, I am not saying I hate the church. I’m not saying I hate command...
JEFFERSON BETHKE
I write because there is nothing as joyful as writing, even when the writing is twisted and full of ...
GARY SHTEYNGART
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX
You must not always believe me
when I say I will love you
untill eternity
because lo...
NEENA H BRAR
I don't engage in social media, which has its good and bad sides, I guess - but the good side is...
HILARIE BURTON
It is not raining to me, It's raining daffodils; In every dimpled drop I see Wild flower...
ROBERT LOVEMAN
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX
If you erased New York, I hate to say it, if you erased Frankfurt, even London, the world would not ...
NICOLAS BERGGRUEN
Memory is not only unruly, leaving us in the lurch when most needed, but stupid as well, putting its...
BALTASAR GRACIáN
It is hard to test at Kentucky in the winter because it is so cold. Even when you do have good weath...
KENNY FRANCIS
Just because it stop's raining does'nt mean the war is over
TANICA S HALL
im the one who has to die when its time for me to die. so let me live my life the way i want to
LIL WAYNE
There were times tonight when this team could have folded its tent. We're not as good as we think we...
KARL DORRELL
It is not raining. The sky leaks.
UNKNOWN
I hate it when politics play too large part in the sport.
JACQUES VILLENEUVE
Whenever the press quits abusing me I know Im in the wrong pew. I dont mind it because when they thr...
HARRY S TRUMAN
Does God think that, because it is raining, I am not going to destroy the world? - Lope de Aguirre a...
DAVID GRANN
I over analyze situations because Im scared of what may happen if I'm not prepared for it.
TURCOIS OMINEK
Im not a politician and my other habits are good. Ive no enemys to reward, nor friends to sponge. Bu...
ARTEMUS WARD
The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON
I usually don't go out when it's raining.
JEFF MORRISON
It's not too late to get on to the London program,
DON PORTER
Its never a good evening when you get mud on your visor,
CARL EDWARDS
Do I hate you? No! Not hate?Hate's a word far too intense,Too alive, to speak a stateOf supreme indi...
WILLIAM WETMORE STORY
What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left ...
J. D. SALINGER
Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks....
JOSH STERN
I am not going to stop when i'm exhausted..I only stop when im done..things never done..that is mean...
EJUMP SCHIFFLER
It is good because it shows the economy is not growing too quickly.
MARCELO MESQUITA
You know a lot of people would have canceled this outing because of the weather, not made the drive ...
BOB SIMMS
The weather had changed, all right. Gatlin had never seen a storm like this. And she probably didn't...
KAMI GARCIA; MARGARET STOHL
I hate good looking people because I'm jealous of them.
NIRVIK PARAJULI
When people talk about the good old days, I say to people, 'It's not the days that are old, it's you...
KARL LAGERFELD
I hate it when people tell you you're good when you know that you're not.
AIDAN GILLEN
It's complicated, when it's raining like this, there's a lot of traffic and you got your speeders, w...
CARLOS RUIZ
I don't know but sometimes I feel that im not a good person in this planet However I like that feeli...
BENJABR, HASSAN
I love Spain for its landscapes and weather, so I am happy to make my debut at the Vuelta, ... I suf...
MAGNUS BACKSTEDT
I dont really think its all that settled yet, ... Weve got a good group of guys, though. Im sure eve...
AARON KATZ

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX