I’m like Chuck Norris without the ass kicking.


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Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS
Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand...
BRIAN CELIO
Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth. -Chuck Norris.
CHUCK NORRIS
After a month or so, the novelty began to wear off. So I, like, put up a poll to see who the next on...
IAN SPECTOR
Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that ...
JOHN GREEN
When God said "Let there be light" Chuck Norris said "Say Please."
CHUCK NORRIS
kicking maximum ass
JAMES HETFIELD
Chuck Norris has a bear carpet in his house, the bear isn't dead its just afraid to move.
ANONYMOUS
Kicking ass is surprisingly therapeutic
RACHEL VINCENT
I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's ass, all day today.
BAM MARGERA
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark...
ANONYMOUS
When I was 8, I thought I was Harrison Ford, Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Elvis, and Chuck Norris all...
DWAYNE JOHNSON
Women have been kicking ass for centuries.
YANCY BUTLER
Love is more powerful than kicking ass.
JET LI
Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
The secret to kicking ass in dumbshit Hollywood... Every time you meet someone, make a fucking impre...
JAMES FREY
Bruce Lee only played himself. Chuck Norris is a martial artist that does acting. I want to be an ac...
LEO HOWARD
People just kind of associate me with kicking some ass.
YANCY BUTLER
Her dancing was unbelievable. She was kicking ass out there.
JULIE MORRIS
Riley Blackthorne - kicking hell's ass one demon at a time.
JANA OLIVER
The James Bond movies are based off of the first few years of Chuck Norri's childhood.
FVZZBALL
Life has a way of kicking you in the ass... or smearing chocolate on your bum.
DOMINIC MONAGHAN
Jesus.” Blake rubbed his throat. “You have anger management problems. Its like a disease.”
JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT
I’m not his bodyguard,” said Isabelle. “I’m his girlfriend. Which gives me the right to kick...
CASSANDRA CLARE
We literally got outworked in every zone. It was a clear, simple, good ass kicking.
DEREK LAXDAL
I’m a simple man without a lot of complicated twists and turns. Look down my throat and you can se...
LIU CIXIN
He kept thinking about one word—forever—and felt the burning ache just beneath his rib cage. It ...
JOHN GREEN
Yes, and I’m sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people.
SUZANNE COLLINS
It's his heart and soul, it's kicking ass all over the world and becoming a huge brand. He would be ...
CHARLES WOLF
Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS
The moment the door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receivi...
RACHEL VINCENT
I just told them to turn and then find the glass. We were too quick at times, rushing things. We'd j...
SARA SCHOPPER
Lawton's numbers showed she was by far the most consistent team out there. Aside from her miscues at...
DALLAS BITTLE
you smell like ass. you all smell like ass. am i complaining?
MARILYN MANSON
Time marches on...with or without your ass
DENNIS BARTON
When you're getting your ass kicked, you take it, and you go on to game four. They were very good an...
PAT RILEY
They're like taking turns kicking.
ALAN ETTER
Knock him out, Paris!'

'Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?
GENA SHOWALTER
So, now I am left with two unfortunate facts in my life. Mondays are creepy Chuck day, and even my m...
LINDSAY DETWILER
Why do I use a sword? Because they don't need reloading.
FVZZBALL
It's not rape if you yell SURPRISE!
FVZZBALL
I will gouge out your eye and punch you in the brain!
FVZZBALL
Left, right, left, right, left, lef-ah fuck I tripped again…
FVZZBALL
He who lives with an ass, makes noises like an ass
AFRICAN PROVERB
Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back an ass
JAPANESE PROVERB
The final line in the Second Amendment says, 'The right of the people to keep and bear arms shal...
CHUCK NORRIS
What was Bruce Lee like? How did you meet? What was it like to choreograph the fight scene in Rome w...
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It's the bullies who are afraid, are the ones that do all the fighting. It's not the secure ...
CHUCK NORRIS
Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
CHUCK NORRIS
Every day, we are bombarded with a multitude of toxins in the environment. We know that the negative...
CHUCK NORRIS
We can't deal with the flood in the orchards until we cap the floodwaters coming into them. And ...
CHUCK NORRIS
As a former Airman First Class in the United States Air Force, like many veterans in America, my mil...
CHUCK NORRIS
Commonly, athletes will bolster their dietary intake with everyday vitamins such as magnesium and ir...
CHUCK NORRIS
My mother lived through the Great Depression. Her family of 11 children pulled themselves up by thei...
CHUCK NORRIS
When children are exposed to advertisements for unhealthy food, they will, in turn, consume signific...
CHUCK NORRIS
I've always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you...
CHUCK NORRIS
Despite what Washington thinks or does on this 15th anniversary, we the people will never forget tho...
CHUCK NORRIS
If the citizens of the United States are to turn away from the Communist Manifesto and preserve the ...
CHUCK NORRIS
Exercise, prayer, and meditation are examples of calming rituals. They have been shown to induce a h...
CHUCK NORRIS
It's amazing because people come up to me and say, 'Chuck, you're the luckiest guy in th...
CHUCK NORRIS
In America the schools have become too permissive, the kids now are controlling the schools, the tai...
CHUCK NORRIS
Between income taxes and employment taxes, capital gains taxes, estate taxes, corporate taxes, prope...
CHUCK NORRIS
As I travel the world, it seems that younger people identify me merely with some of the folklore in ...
CHUCK NORRIS
When we drink a cup of coffee or spoon heated chicken noodle soup or chili out of a Styrofoam cup, w...
CHUCK NORRIS
A small behavioral change can also lead to embracing a wider checklist of healthier choices.
CHUCK NORRIS
A walk in nature is a perfect backdrop to combine exercise, prayer, and meditation while enhancing t...
CHUCK NORRIS
Asking your children about their fears or worries about going back to school will help them share th...
CHUCK NORRIS
When I got into the film business, my aim was to adopt a positive persona, of a guy who fights again...
CHUCK NORRIS
Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, John Wayne - these men had the code of the West.
CHUCK NORRIS
Armed Forces Day on May 21, and the Memorial Day weekend that follows, is a time to honor, remember ...
CHUCK NORRIS
The Apostle Paul did what he had to do to spread the message of God. I realize that that is what I h...
CHUCK NORRIS
Anytime you get action legends together, it has to be a classic.
CHUCK NORRIS
I gave my life to the Lord at 12. I was baptized at 12.
CHUCK NORRIS
Since before the Civil War, crosses have indeed garnished veterans' memorials from the North to ...
CHUCK NORRIS
In 1968, I fought and won the world middleweight karate championship by defeating the world's to...
CHUCK NORRIS
As the graying of the country continues its march forward, many retirees are now relocating to dense...
CHUCK NORRIS
Moral Injury is differentiated from PTSD in that it directly relates to guilt and shame veterans exp...
CHUCK NORRIS
Getting into a sleep routine before the first week of school will aid in easing the shock of waking ...
CHUCK NORRIS
Violence is my last option.
CHUCK NORRIS
Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
CHUCK NORRIS
Let's face it: so much of what we consume is not driven by knowledge but by basic craving and im...
CHUCK NORRIS
GOP leaders need to let go of their ego factions and come together with one primary goal in mind: ke...
CHUCK NORRIS
In 'Expendables 2,' there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. For this reason, m...
CHUCK NORRIS
Federal policy tells us to fill 50 percent of our plates with fruits and vegetables. At the same tim...
CHUCK NORRIS
I was just a start-and-stop guy. I could never really follow through on anything that I started.
CHUCK NORRIS
Our forefathers increased and decreased the influx of peoples because America was building a melting...
CHUCK NORRIS
From Julia Child to 'The Galloping Gourmet' and the Food Channel and Cooking Channel, our fa...
CHUCK NORRIS
God bless and help all the victims and patriots of 9/11, from the families of Flight 93 passengers t...
CHUCK NORRIS
It's important to concede that modern pesticides have helped to make farming more productive and...
CHUCK NORRIS
Many of you may remember that I supported Mike Huckabee for president in 2008. He was doing great, b...
CHUCK NORRIS
It wasn't until I went to Korea out of high school and got exposed to the martial arts for the f...
CHUCK NORRIS
I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issue...
CHUCK NORRIS
I don't initiate violence, I retaliate.
CHUCK NORRIS
As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I c...
CHUCK NORRIS
I would give illegal immigrants already here a three-month grace period to apply for a temporary wor...
CHUCK NORRIS
The key to the future in an aging society is not found in increasing just our life span; we need to ...
CHUCK NORRIS
There's no reason we can't all live harmoniously together, and that's what I would say t...
CHUCK NORRIS
In 2007, I was given the humbling privilege of being made an honorary member of the United States Ma...
CHUCK NORRIS
CBS encouraged us to do it in Shreveport, but we talked them out of it.
CHUCK NORRIS
I wasn't offered a role in 'Expendables 1,' and I'm a guest star in 'Expendables...
CHUCK NORRIS

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