I'm married to a black man.

On Dec. 27, I kept saying I was waiting for my hug from Dale for my birthday. The therapist picked up his arm and put it around my neck. ... It's heartbreaking. You live through the sadness, the numbness, the grieving. You live through the not knowing and constantly wondering. We want Dale back the way Dale was.

Dale was a sweetheart. He was a little bit of a thrill-seeker. He loved being out on the water on a boat, being a daredevil pulled by a tube. And he loved riding motorcycles.

He's not eating, he's not talking, and he's in a restless, agitated state right now.

If there's a living nightmare, this is it.

For decades, cigarettes were marketed as symbol of virility, as in the macho Marlboro Man ads.