FastSaying

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.


Groucho Marx

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
WOODY ALLEN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE It was unfortunate, but we can still get a decent lead.
ANDRE NEL Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur an...
GEORGES BATAILLE Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur ...
GEORGES BATAILLE Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur an...
GEORGE BATAILLE The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX Yearning is not only a good way to go crazy but also a pretty good place to hide out from hard truth...
JAY COCKS i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But Im not concerned about ...
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. Imagination, is the only real weapon in this war against reality, but, my imagination is not crazy m...
TEGAN GENEVIEVE JONES Im okay Im okay now.
But you really need to listen to me
'cause im telling you the trut...
GERARD WAY For the freedoms our founding fathers not only dreamed about, but made into reality. It is that same...
JOHN M. MCHUGH when i meet someone new they tell me that im crazy or that i need personal and that im the weirdest ...
DALLY SALAD The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH Reality is not so georgeous, it's like a meal you had and you miss that meal and when you find it yo...
ARDIT BALISHA One, two, three, Im gon be crazy and free.
NICK We do not have federated IM. We firmly believe you need a separate channel from any public IM system...
BOB SHIMP PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL
NATALIE URQUIETA Im still runnin against the wind
Well Im older now and still
Against the wind
BOB SEGER I'm not crazy. But I am different. I'm still learning about myself.
EL DEBARGE You can turn off the sun, but im still ganna shine!
JASON MRAZ Diet food is not a meal its a medicine.
AMIT KALANTRI Marx and Lenin were ahead of their time. Marx wrote before offshoring of jobs and the financializati...
PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS Oh, they loved it, absolutely loved it. For some of the people we see, I'm sorry and sad to say we'r...
MARGARET BRANAN There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian.
MURRAY ROTHBARD The reality of getting to the big leagues is not very good. But I can still get it done. I still hav...
JACK SANTORA I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE We might not be able to know what reality is about, but we can’t but be aware of the explicitness ...
ERIK PEVERNAGIE There's still a decent chance to get the deal through. I'd peg it at 50-50.
DAVID KESTENBAUM Let's be honest, L.A. is not a bad place to live. There are some crazy people there, but I tend ...
EVE MYLES At its very core, virtual reality is about being freed from the limitations of actual reality. Carry...
JOHN CARMACK According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not into the money thing. You can only sleep in one bed at a time. You can only eat one meal at ...
RAY CHARLES Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve; it is life's undress rehears...
HARRIET BEECHER STOWE What I think is so special about this honor is its not so much about the records and championships b...
MARGIE WRIGHT There's a decent chance that the workers had some exposure. But they were outside and were not in an...
BRIAN TOAL Im not a politician and my other habits are good. Ive no enemys to reward, nor friends to sponge. Bu...
ARTEMUS WARD Im A Good Friend, But Im A Better Enemy.
DONALD C HALL It is not only about the ones that are still here that we worry about but also about the others that...
DEBBIE ANDERSON I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.
P. J. O'ROURKE I went crazy looking for another place down there. I'm still looking.
JUSTIN ARECCHI You can’t preach things like spirituality, yoga, or animal activism to someone who hasn’t had a ...
DEEPAK S. HIWALE The great thing about vinyl is that if you wanted to get a decent-sounding cut, you could really onl...
KATE BUSH Im still betting on you. - Cinna.
SUZANNE COLLINS Many use the word “Kingdom” flippantly. Even though we sing about it in our praise songs, we tal...
SUNDAY ADELAJA If I don't get the money that I need to buy a decent place, then it is going to be very complicated,
JOSEPH WILLIAMS Life is not only about copying others. But having a crazy idea, an impossible ideea, to dedicate you...
SIMION ALEXANDRU I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours
LEWIS CARROLL I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD Surrealism also refuses the representation of reality: reality can only be; its existence proves its...
MICHAEL RICHARDSON We just didn't come to play tonight. We had a great opportunity to get a win against a decent team a...
MATT BLAIR You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place...like you'll not only miss the people ...
AZAR NAFISI aliens are living on earth for along time,for those who think im talking about another race youre wr...
RAJA You can't change reality -- only its perception.
LIONEL SUGGS The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON Fiction is an elemental force, which has the power to shape reality in its own image - or images, I ...
RUTH OZEKI Jews talk a lot about God. But actually their god, just like Marx said, is money. Cash!
GEORGE LINCOLN ROCKWELL I thought he was crazy. I may still think he's crazy. But he started talking about it, and it starte...
KAREN KRAMER I was excited by the process of Pandora, which I still think is a decent product. Not as great in ac...
TRENT REZNOR The most eloquent eulogy of capitalism was made by its greatest enemy. Marx is only anti-capitalist ...
ALBERT CAMUS I' ve been shot five times but im still breathing living proof there a god if you need a reason.
TUPAC SHAKUR In the beginning, this is about heart connections. Sitting the family down at a meal is the place wh...
LEN TRAUBMAN I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS For some students, school is the only place where they get a hot meal and a warm hug. Teachers are s...
DENISE JUNEAU Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters.
JEFFREY FRY The average price of a new car has crept up to about $23,000, but you can get a decent used car for ...
GRANT WHITMORE Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He ha...
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY That Norway has fallen to 18th place is not good, but you are still among the 20 best nations. The s...
MARC LEVY There is no decent place to stand in a massacre.
BLAKE CROUCH Anger is not only inevitable, but it is necessary. For in its place is indifference, the worst of al...
ANON. The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
MARK VAN DOREN The only meal the human flesh loves to consume daily is the meal called variety.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The situation is not about Hosni Mubarak, but the reality is now about Egypt, its present, the futur...
HOSNI MUBARAK Art is not merely an imitation of the reality of nature, but in truth a metaphysical supplement to t...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE As the readers will see, we've only scratched the surface of what this crazy cosmos is all about. An...
RALPH MACCHIO Just as Marx used to say about the French Marxists of the late seventies: All I know is that I am no...
FRIEDRICH ENGELS Just as Marx used to say about the French "Marxists" of the late seventies: "All I know is that I am...
FRIEDRICH ENGELS There's a lot of wheat out there that did come up, it just hasn't grown much, maybe it's thinned out...
BRENT BEAN Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave ...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN You should have a modest meal, rather than a major meal. If you overeat at that evening meal, it's g...
JODI R. GODFREY You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss ...
AZAR NAFISI I am not a doctrinaire of any kind. I'm still searching. Sometimes I call myself an anarchist, but I...
ALDEN NOWLAN If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary ...
ECKHART TOLLE My big thing was portions. I still eat whatever my mom cooks and get a full meal, but I judge the si...
GREG SISK ,"I am not crazy, my reality is just different from yours."-Cheshire Cat
LEWIS CARROLL If the human flesh is not adequately tamed,then variety becomes its most preferred meal.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.
ELLEN WITTLINGER Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
ADAM YOUNG

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX