I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?

Do you want to know why men name their penis? So the most important decisions in their life aren't made by a stranger.

I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There's a guy - I don't know who he is, but he's wearing a suit. He's got his arms folded, and he looks like he sold insurance or something. I'm just wondering why someone painted him.

Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule.

its like picking your least favorite color of the rainbow