I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.


Anonymous

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Im James Bond. Im Jason Bourne. Im Super-freaking-Mario come to life.
JOHN DAVID ANDERSON
Im A Good Friend, But Im A Better Enemy.
DONALD C HALL
Im okay Im okay now.
But you really need to listen to me
'cause im telling you the trut...
GERARD WAY
All that I have done will be remembered when I am all said and done.
TRUMAINE M. PRESSLEY
Today's college graduates take IM in the office for granted. If you protect your email systems but i...
ED GOLOD
Freiheit ist etwas Maßloses. Im Guten wie im Schlechten.
CARSTEN K. RATH
Life is Like a Piano,, and Im Playing Beethoven...
KALUM JOHNSON (KDOG)
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.
LAZY QUOTES
Im not a politician and my other habits are good. Ive no enemys to reward, nor friends to sponge. Bu...
ARTEMUS WARD
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
Sure, some journalists use anonymous sources just because they're lazy and I think editors ought...
BEN BRADLEE
Please try not to be condemmed by a lazy person,for a lazy person is like a rotten body.
BENJAMIN KUSI BOATENG
I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like ...
LECH WALESA
I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like w...
LECH WALESA
Don't run away.
Im not running away. Im already gone.
-Lena and Ethan
KAMI GARCIA
Im very nurturing.
TAMARA ECCLESTONE
We do not have federated IM. We firmly believe you need a separate channel from any public IM system...
BOB SHIMP
I'm working on a book, but I'm lazy, I'm busy and I'm lazy, there's an interesting combination!
GREG RAYMER
You'll never find another like me because im the original.
RACHEL W
Im still runnin against the wind
Well Im older now and still
Against the wind
BOB SEGER
Im more in love with Rock n Roll today than other things. It grows, you know?
BON SCOTT
I realize im black, but id like to be viewed as a person, and that is everybodys wish.
MICHAEL JORDAN
I am too lazy to be lazy.
ANONYMOUS
lazy, lazy writing, or just bad writing.
JOE KEENAN
Be the person today you were too lazy to be yesterday.
IHEARTINSPIRATION.COM
Im like Captain America.... accept with a better body, smarter and 2 deployments...
NATHAN ELMO MELO
A Bullet is a man, from time to time he strays, I compare my life to this, To this I relate. And Im ...
CHRIS CORNELL
Okay.
JOHN GREEN
That's like my cape. If you knock a super hero's cape off, they get very angry.
LEBRON JAMES
The benefits of IM are undeniable for businesses, yet the security risks and challenges are paramoun...
CHRIS SHIPLEY
They're fake bullets, so why do I feel like Im bleeding out?
JODI PICOULT
There are lazy Minds as well as lazy Bodies.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Im trending therefore I am.
EDWARD SQUIRE
IT departments have spent a lot of money on security. They've hardened the castle walls but left the...
ART GILLILAND
I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn&...
LECH WALESA
You can turn off the sun, but im still ganna shine!
JASON MRAZ
Im not your biggest girly girl.
MAGGIE SIFF
Think about visual IM (instant messaging).
RON GARRIQUES
Im in the state of Imbroglio
NOBLE DA GENIUS
the sentence im reading is terrific ...
J.D. SALINGER
Im still betting on you. - Cinna.
SUZANNE COLLINS
I don't know but sometimes I feel that im not a good person in this planet However I like that feeli...
BENJABR, HASSAN
We've felt for sometime that IM is next big wave. If you claim to offer a total messaging solution, ...
CHRIS CHRISTIANSEN
Never felt lyk im alone bcoz my soul always follows me dats wat make me feel im not alone & I"ll nev...
RAKSHAN BHANDARY
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.
ANONYMOUS
I like to be lazy. I do like to be busy and really active, but when that's done, you can be sure...
OLIVIER THEYSKENS
Im a trackstar running thru life, chasing my dream.
50 CENT
There is no longer any excuse for not adopting corporate IM. But businesses should establish policie...
TOM EID
We took a couple lazy penalties. Maybe they embellished a couple better than we did, but we were laz...
RANDY CUNNEYWORTH
I like being full of mystery and wonder, people always know im up to something but never know exactl...
NIKKI ROWE
Today my mouth is bigger than my heart. Sorry seems to be the hardest word. But, I'm sorry. I Love Y...
FEMALE IMAGINATION
When you take your step your dream comes true,you see the sky with fluffy clouds you take your breat...
SELENA GóMEZ
My words control your body and your mind like a symbiot im a phenominon i had to interpose
NOBLE DA GENIUS
Expect me nigga like you'd expect jesus to come back expect me nigga im coming.
TUPAC SHAKUR
Today a dollar will be like a cent to us because its from our parents but im sure tomorrow when u st...
HARSHVINRAJ SINGH
Im looking for a girl who's fun to be around.
ROSS LYNCH
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO
Im not looking for perfection, just perfect flaws.
KIERRA C.T. BANKS
Im finally glad to see this move forward,
JIM RICE
Im a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl
BJORK
Be quick to bless but lazy to curse.
PAUL BAMIKOLE
Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.
GOTTHOLD EPHRAIM LESSING
Beware the Asian Bear!!
MICHAEL IM
Im on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend.
JOHN GREEN
I feel like I'm kind of lazy, but I keep the yard looking good.
KRIS KRISTOFFERSON
revolver under my bed as im pouring liquor out
NOBLE DA GENIUS
One, two, three, Im gon be crazy and free.
NICK
Thank god im not too cool for the safebelt.
KANYE WEST
Im proud that Im a politician. A politician is a man who understands government, and it takes a poli...
HARRY S TRUMAN
dont read my diary when im gone, ok im going to work now , when you wake up please read my diary, lo...
KURT COBAIN
I'm baking an apple pie tonight, and I dont care Mr.Carb.. Im eating it at 10pm with ice cream,. Tak...
NERISSA IRVING
Blame is a lazy man's wages.
DANISH PROVERB
I can be a lazy dresser.
MICHAEL SHEEN
Procrastination is a lazy man's apology.
CHINUA ACHEBE
I can be a lazy slob.
SHIRLEY MACLAINE
I'm a lazy sod.
TELLER
Lazy people, the truly lazy people live on information, strategies, ideas, plans and many other crit...
ALAN RIOS
Direct democracy is lazy anarchy, for people who don't want to be governed but are too lazy to gover...
HEATHER MARSH
"yes i own a whaler boat, it slides across the sea some folks say im a part of it i know its part of...
JIMMY BUFFETT
Hail! Thou as victor crowned. [Ger., Heil dir im Siegerkranz.]
B.G. SCHUMACHER
Hackers have discovered IM; it's the new playground for them.
ANDREW LOCHART
Gerechtigkeit gibt es in der Hölle. Im Himmel herrscht Gnade.
JULI ZEH
Programmers can be lazy.
LARRY WALL
Lazy Edge Area (LEA)
JEROEN SAEY
Im for rules but when rules conflicts humanity i will stand against it at all cost
MICHAEL STRONG
i'd rather people hate me for who i am then have them like me for who im not
KURT COBAIN
I have to watch out for being lazy.
MARIANNE FAITHFULL
Im going to use you and abuse you a distortion of the truth!
THOMAS WALLACE SCHERZER
Im a soulless lawyer. Give me any opinion and I can argue it.
MEGYN KELLY
I mumble a lot when im off stage, so a lot of times when im with a friend i'll say something and he'...
MITCH HEDBERG
The issue of IM is that it's being used on the public networks. IM is subject to all the same proble...
ANDREW LOCHART
Vengeance Is a Lazy Form of Grief
NICOLE KIDMAN
I' ve been shot five times but im still breathing living proof there a god if you need a reason.
TUPAC SHAKUR
Yes Im young,We Belong,Love Is Sung,By the peaceful Song...Listen Please, You'll fall to your knees,...
NOT YER TYPICAL DORK
try and kick me while im down ill break ur leg
LIL WAYNE
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for ...
ANONYMOUS
Humankind above all is lazy.
HARRIET BEECHER STOWE
Lazy hands offer no compromise.
RICARDO ALONSO
Lazy hands offer no promise.
RICARDO ALONSO
You gotta know when to be lazy. Done correctly, it's an art form that benefits everyone.
NICHOLAS SPARKS

More Anonymous

Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS
You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS
Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS
Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS
Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS
Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS
He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS
All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS
The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS
Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS
An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS
Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS
Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS
Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS
Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS
Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS
Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS
Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS
A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS
Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS
She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS
many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS
Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS
If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS
So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS
To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS
My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS
The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS
Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS
When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS
The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS
Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS
When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS
Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS
تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS
The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS
Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS
How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS
Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS
Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS
I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS
I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS
People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS
I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS
Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS
It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS
Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS
Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS
There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS
How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS
Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS
Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS
True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS
Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS
Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS
I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS
The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS
I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS
Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS
Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS
Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS
An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS
Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS