I'm the kind of person you want to kill.

A friendliness, as of dwarfs shaking hands, was in the air...

Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other.

I asked her sister for a cell number, at least, but something tells me that 401-GO2-HELL is out of service.

Maybe if God gives you a handicap, he makes sure you've got a few extra doses of humor to take the edge off.

My high school guidance counselor, Mrs. Inverholl, once had me take an aptitude test to figure out my future. The number one job recommendation for my set of skills was an air traffic accident investigator, of which there are fewer than fifty in the world. The number two job was a museum curator for Chinese-American studies. The number three job was a circus clown.