In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.