In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing
George Carlin
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I've always thought George Carlin was brilliant.
VICKI LAWRENCE The seven words George Carlin said you couldn’t say on TV or radio (“fuck,” “piss,” “shi...
MARY NORRIS I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give ...
GEORGE CARLIN I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
STEVE BUSCEMI And George Carlin was a guy that the more he aged the younger he seemed.
KEVIN SMITH They are continuing levee security patrolling and sandbagging operations.
ROBERT KING The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freew...
BOB MOOREHEAD You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do......
GEORGE CARLIN Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
GERMAINE DE STAëL I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.
SEAN HAYES I loved George Carlin... I used to sit in front of the TV and watch the HBO comedy specials. I loved...
MICK FOLEY There are rescue operations going on, but after eight days it's going to be a miracle
PERVEZ MUSHARRAF His big thing was to fish for sharks off the piers.
PRESTON FREEBURGER I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.
STEPHEN COLBERT The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite direct...
GEORGE CARLIN Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches...
ROGER J. CORLESS I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, ...
BOBBY W. MILLER We are continuing to pump out ethanol and that's the good news.
MARK LAMBERT Even today we have staff located in three primary buildings. It's not ideal for continuing operation...
LAURENCE HUBBARD Most of the rescue operations have been completed and they're moving into recovery mode,
BILL LACY So far, the (rescue) operations continue. God Willing, there will be more survivors rescued.
INTERIOR MINISTER We are delighted to be recognized for our extensive experience in helping firms to launch asset mana...
JACK KLINCK George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular com...
DREW CAREY If helicopters had been used in emergency rescue operations, more than 10,000 people could have been...
LIU DAXIANG Given the current outlook for industry volumes and cost challenges we are taking a more cautious pos...
DAVID RAYBURN Really, the investment off-take is continuing unabated. It's crazy. There's a lot of traditionally p...
BERNARD HUNTER There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN I believe the National Urban Search and Rescue Deployment Exercise will prove very beneficial for al...
ANDRE CHABOT Continuing the operations and having someone there to prevent vandalism top my worries.
DAVID MILLS Now eight days are gone. There are still rescue operations going on. But they say technically after ...
PERVEZ MUSHARRAF The government has dispatched a search and rescue team to support operations that are in progress. W...
DEFENSE MINISTER NJENGA KARUME You look at Richard Pryor and Robert Klein and George Carlin and Richard Lewis - those guys were so ...
ARI GRAYNOR It may sound strange that we are still talking life saving two weeks after the disaster, when search...
RASHID KHALIKOV The lower warnings level is evidence that the continuing bad news has started to affect confidence t...
ANDREW WOLLASTON There's nothing good on the news. You're not telling me CNN is all cats in trees, are you? N...
NOEL GALLAGHER We believe a contract with steep labor concessions is the sign of a troubled core industry, not 'goo...
GARY LAPIDUS I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's al...
DREW CAREY George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking somethin...
BILL COSBY George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, mo...
DENIS LEARY We're continuing to examine our operations and reducing our expenses to remain competitive.
MICHAEL TREVINO It is unlikely to find anyone alive now because rescue operations have taken a long time.
ANIL SHUKLA It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech an...
RON WHITE Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN "As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup".
TODAY Think off-center.
GEORGE CARLIN The big news in this report is that children's status is improving and continuing to get better.
DUANE ALEXANDER I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he di...
STEVEN WRIGHT We're preparing for operations through the end of April; that's not good news.
JACK COLLEY They are shrieking. Some are saying, 'Cut off my legs. Cut off my hands. Just rescue me.' I saw one ...
ASHOK KUMAR The claims data are telling us that the labor market is continuing to improve and growing at a rate ...
JOSEPH ABATE The positive news is that the British economy is continuing to grow and is creating jobs. And it is ...
GEORGE OSBORNE When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all ...
MARC MARON The longshoremen will tell you this is a very dangerous job.
IRENE MCCORMACK Also the good news out of Asia is continuing to push other resources stocks higher, metals prices ar...
KATE WARNE Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN [On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now the...
GEORGE CARLIN It's a healthy report. We're seeing healthy job growth and the labor market is continuing to tighten...
RICHARD MOODY No doubt George Carlin has been able to stay on top all these years because of his edge. He's always...
DANA HOUSE Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should...
MERLE HAGGARD It was just a one-off item. All our operations are on track.
DENNIS LUI If faith cannot rescue you today,then tomorrow hope shall.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) This sale will not affect the management or business operations of the Times company or the family's...
ARTHUR SULZBERGER This sale will not affect the management or business operations of the Times company or the family's...
ARTHUR OCHS SULZBERGER The news should not have a material impact on (Woodside's) operations. Contract negotiations are an ...
ANDREW BLAKELY I am a big proponent of adopting dogs through shelters and rescue operations. Having dogs in the off...
LINDA SANCHEZ We got clearance from Labor and Industries to go back to work and we're continuing to monitor the bu...
LAURA PRISC While we are not pleased with the short term impact the labor issues have had on our bottom line, ou...
ALAIN BELDA The company has proven its ability to navigate through difficult and volatile circumstances while co...
JAMES LEE Tom DeLay and the other leadership of the House of Representatives are not going to impeach George W...
BOB GRAHAM Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don't rent them out to to...
JERRY SPINELLI In the past, the information collected as a byproduct of operations wasn't tapped for its inherent v...
CHRIS HEIM I'd been waiting a few years to get to that point, put a bunch of hard work in. Seeing the fruits of...
ADAM EATON This is a critical moment. There is a lot of opposition to continuing the reforms as they are today.
HE WEIFANG The addition of jobs by Texas employers, as well as the declining unemployment rate, is great news f...
DIANE RATH Every day I think, 'Gosh, I wish I could be like George Carlin, Bill Maher: I want that edge....
TOM SMOTHERS We walked this entire Ninth Ward for search and rescue. It looks different [now]. This is what the f...
ERIC BAUM creeping off the news.
PATRICIA ARQUETTE Today I told George that in Russia we, too, will draw our conclusions
VLADIMIR PUTIN There is some good news in this report today, which is that this video game industry one has the bes...
JOSEPH LIEBERMAN If Thomas Edison invented electric light today, Dan Rather would report it on CBS News as "candle ma...
NEWT GINGRICH We may be in for a good trading session today. The good news from Japan and a pull-back in oil are p...
BARRY RITHOLTZ Today is very news driven. You've got GE, you've got HPQ, and the economic reports were a little bet...
DONALD SELKIN We're here today with both good news and bad news. The good news is we got the funding, but the bad ...
DONNIE DREWER There is a long list of negative news today,
DEREK LAM This is the only news we're announcing today.
DAVID BEIGIE We're encouraged by the news today that Freddy's injury is indeed minor. He has already begun the re...
DAVE KASPER It's interesting (the Cohen news) had such broad ramifications today.
GREG HYMOWITZ We've seen some very heavy trading today, which could be related to the news. Once the news broke, t...
LISA NASH We have a bunch of good news today. First, foreign investors took a cue from strong earnings here an...
KAZUHIRO TAKAHASHI Today, in terms of news, we have a fractured picture . . . more of a niche. Whether it be in terms o...
JUAN WILLIAMS The news today is just the tip of the iceberg for L & H. This is a classic story of the chicken comi...
LANNY DAVIS The way the rescue was actually accomplished was the crews waded across lower down the river and the...
MARTIN ERNST We walked off the field in Dallas and it was the greatest game ever,
CHRIS COOLEY The sell-off triggered by Fukui's comments yesterday is continuing.
KAORU KONDO Now, if we look at the way in which the labor movement itself has evolved over the last couple of de...
ANGELA DAVIS While we are pleased with meeting our earnings targets for the quarter, we are even more pleased wit...
DANIEL P. BURNHAM The curfew is continuing today so the situation can return to normal quickly.
ZAHEERUL ISLAM We are still in the search and rescue mode.
AJ HOLLOWAY It has all started off strongly because of continuing M&A activity in the oil sector.
IAN HARNETT The fighting is continuing and I think it will continue today and tomorrow.
MOVLADI UDUGOV
More George Carlin
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I see a glass that's twice as bi...
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GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institution...
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GEORGE CARLIN If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN Meow” means “woof” in cat.
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
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GEORGE CARLIN Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa...
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GEORGE CARLIN Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
GEORGE CARLIN Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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GEORGE CARLIN I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Ky...
GEORGE CARLIN The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
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GEORGE CARLIN Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
GEORGE CARLIN At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
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For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the...
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GEORGE CARLIN Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN Everyone smiles in the same language.
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GEORGE CARLIN My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm ...
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GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning...
GEORGE CARLIN Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "Y...
GEORGE CARLIN It's never just a game when you're winning.
GEORGE CARLIN If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delight...
GEORGE CARLIN If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll b...
GEORGE CARLIN I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish...
GEORGE CARLIN Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
GEORGE CARLIN As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to...
GEORGE CARLIN Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that b...
GEORGE CARLIN If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
GEORGE CARLIN In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
GEORGE CARLIN If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
GEORGE CARLIN The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elect...
GEORGE CARLIN The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you...
GEORGE CARLIN Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
GEORGE CARLIN When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar
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GEORGE CARLIN If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
GEORGE CARLIN In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
GEORGE CARLIN When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can th...
GEORGE CARLIN Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach t...
GEORGE CARLIN Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
GEORGE CARLIN I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with...
GEORGE CARLIN I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, c...
GEORGE CARLIN I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves ...
GEORGE CARLIN Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. A...
GEORGE CARLIN There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.
GEORGE CARLIN So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’...
GEORGE CARLIN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
GEORGE CARLIN Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's ...
GEORGE CARLIN I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individual...
GEORGE CARLIN When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. ...
GEORGE CARLIN If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed ...
GEORGE CARLIN There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It se...
GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
GEORGE CARLIN [On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now the...
GEORGE CARLIN Life is a series of dogs
GEORGE CARLIN I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad som...
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
GEORGE CARLIN I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it daw...
GEORGE CARLIN They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like
GEORGE CARLIN Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the ...
GEORGE CARLIN I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
GEORGE CARLIN Jesus was a cross dresser
GEORGE CARLIN By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth
GEORGE CARLIN The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
GEORGE CARLIN Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
GEORGE CARLIN What makes me nervous is when I am at an airport and the stewardess says get on the plane. I say fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
GEORGE CARLIN If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
GEORGE CARLIN If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else
GEORGE CARLIN I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long ti...
GEORGE CARLIN If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
GEORGE CARLIN I believe you can joke about anything.
GEORGE CARLIN I'm the creative type,
GEORGE CARLIN When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
GEORGE CARLIN Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
GEORGE CARLIN He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.
GEORGE CARLIN Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People
GEORGE CARLIN You get to play with people's little danger zones.
GEORGE CARLIN 'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations...
GEORGE CARLIN When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal wea...
GEORGE CARLIN In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
GEORGE CARLIN I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity
GEORGE CARLIN A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'...
GEORGE CARLIN I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a...
GEORGE CARLIN If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
GEORGE CARLIN If the Reds were baseball's first team, who did they play?
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GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that bi...
GEORGE CARLIN Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way? My wife can't...
GEORGE CARLIN Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
GEORGE CARLIN Think about it,
GEORGE CARLIN I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people are not particularly good at anything
GEORGE CARLIN I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people
GEORGE CARLIN When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your...
GEORGE CARLIN One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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GEORGE CARLIN