In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Yes! Very funny this terrible thing is. A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls i... JOSEPH CONRAD And you shouldn't choose to care about someone. There shouldn't be a time and a place for it. Either... CELIA MCMAHON 37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married. JAMES C. DOBSON The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr... C.S. LEWIS To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be. GOLDA MEIR To be, or not to be, that is the question. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Most powerful of all powers in its holy insinuation is _being_. _To be_ is more powerful than even _... GEORGE MACDONALD Cam was sitting on the bed, still clothed. His head was lowered, hands braced on his knees in the po... LISA KLEYPAS There again," said Syme irritably, "what is there poetical about being in revolt? You might as well ... G.K. CHESTERTON To be or not to be. That's not really a question. JEAN-LUC GODARD PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL NATALIE URQUIETA I think that many people will intentionally overlook all of the lifeless facts about their relations... C. JOYBELL C. Wherever I am, you belong. You're mine. Say it. J. KENNER Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ... FEREIDOON YAZDI I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n... AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m... ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt... ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank... ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ... ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate... ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ... ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices. ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag... ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future. ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea... ANDREW TO Use your heart. Understand. Learn to see things in the now, not as they were or will be, or as ... E.J. PATTEN Shaq pe hai yaqeen unko, Yaqeen pe hai shaq Mujhy..... .....Kis ka jhoot jhoot hai, K... VISHAL BHARADWAJ - HAIDER FILM There are not many A-list directors who get to make the movies they want to make. I know two: Woody ... MARTIN LANDAU To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is. JOHNNY RICH Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy "To go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to re... HENRY N. BEARD To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being. TOM ROBBINS Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo... GERMANY KENT The love you get, is equal to the love you give. BEN OAK I had a chat with May and I had a sweet talk with April but the lovely conversation that left me to ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Everyone had a place. Everyone fit. Everyone belonged. Everyone but Anna Mae. KATHLEEN FULLER Do you not understand?” he whispered. “I have never belonged to anyone. Not since I was a child.... KRISTEN CALLIHAN They taught me different was wrong. ANI DIFRANCO I suppose I'm in that very small group of people who are not waiting for their own story to unfold. ... CAROL RIFKA BRUNT Well, well, well I am trap in well, half way to hell. DEYTH BANGER Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be... GARY F EVANS... The Biggest Threat to our Democracy, Freedoms and Future is Leadership that fosters and Appeases the... MICHAEL HARRIS Knowing when and how to rest is knowing when and how to acknowledge your limitations and your depend... CRAIG GROESCHEL He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. CRAIG GROESCHEL To err is human. To blame someone else is politics. HUBERT H. HUMPHREY Revolt and revolution both wind up at the same crossroads: the police, or folly ALBERT CAMUS Instead of either/or, I discovered a whole world of and. GLORIA STEINEM The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis. CRAIG GROESCHEL Daisy stared worriedly into his shadowed face. “What if you change your mind about me? What if you... LISA KLEYPAS I think the purest of souls, those with the most fragile of hearts, must be meant for a short life. ... EMM COLE When everyone is determined to present someone as a monster, there are two possibilities: either he�... CARLOS RUIZ ZAFóN The earth is an arena of champions. We are all champions. We all did overcome millions of potential ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb... ELLEN DEGENERES Life is a competition to eliminate fear and doubts to double our life to live better not bitter in t... NAZIM AMBALATH God would not bring you through a Red Sea and turn around and allow you to perish in a fish pond. JOHNNIE DENT JR. We neither of us perform to strangers. JANE AUSTEN You know how to dance in sunlight when everything is going fine, but you have to learn to dance in d... THERESE MAY Truth is irrelevant. What is relevant is whether or not they believe it." The logic in th... SARAH MACLEAN The past never quite disappeared, did it? Folks usually thought time moved forward, starting on the ... BRANDY HEINEMAN Want LESS! Need LESS! Live MORE! TANYA MASSE Everyone always says how I'm so smart, but they don't know what it's like being me. always feeling l... SUSANE COLASANTI To be, or not to be: what a question! E.A. BUCCHIANERI ...People do belong to each other. Once you make a sacrifice for someone, you own part of his or her... JODI PICOULT Dare to seize all the opportunities on your paths. LAILAH GIFTY AKITA Peace does not walk up to our doorsteps and press the calling bell! We have to go out there and sear... AVIJEET DAS Don’t keep your greatness; exhibit it to the admiration of all but note however also to keep your ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH The sad heart needs work to do. JOAN BAUER Sheep don’t need the shepherd to be what they are. The shepherd needs sheep to be what he is. LJUPKA CVETANOVA Your "Not To Do" list is also important. MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN A new day is here! yesterday is gone! tomorrow is preparing to come! but why is today here? ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Patience is only possible within the time we are able to be patient. AULIQ ICE I have the right to remain violente. Everything I say can and will be used against you. EMINEM Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ... GERMANY KENT Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work! DEYTH BANGER To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world... GARY F EVANS... The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist. APURVA GAGLANI If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ... GARY F EVANS... i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g... SIMI GREWAL We are far from perfect but willing to be different. CRAIG GROESCHEL For the Deist ... prayer is calling across a void to a distant deity. This lofty figure may or may n... N.T. WRIGHT Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche. T. J. MILLER I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who ... NEIL GAIMAN Each day I will accomplish one thing on my to do list. LAILAH GIFTY AKITA Rise of Science Denialism The problem is, in a world where some people (even in the USA, ... CHRISTINA ENGELA My two big date deal breakers are someone with no sense of humor and someone who chews badly. I will... ELIZABETH GILLIES I have been in dialogue with my family about what can actually be done. We've come up with this ... WADADA LEO SMITH Abstract conversations are my favourite, for they unviel true convictions. PARUL WADHWA I take the book stopped at a fold, deliver myself to its pace, to the breathing of the other storyte... ERRI DE LUCA To love is to act. VICTOR HUGO War is no solution to peace. BEN OAK When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anyt... BIJOU HUNTER You know when you think you know someone? More than anyone in the world? You know you know them, bec... AVA DELLAIRA Take these broken wings and learn to fly. PAUL MCCARTNEY I'm not sure why the saying goes..."be careful what you wish for"...it should be, "prepare yourself ... C. NZINGHA SMITH We have tears in our eyes As we wave our goodbyes, We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL A Ritual to Read to Each Other If you don’t know the kind of person I am and... WILLIAM STAFFORD To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli... ASK AND IT IS GIVEN It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but I believe that we wer... KATIE J. DAVIS The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it. MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty
revolting about it. FRANCOIS LA ROCHEFOUCAULD-LIANCOURT
More Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot... WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in... WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman... WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m... WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w... WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!' WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards. WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk. WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum... WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death. WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself. WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha... WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old! WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white... WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social. WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y... WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -... WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else. WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked... WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.. WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope. WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I... WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature. WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down. WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ... WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut... WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An... WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up. WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy... WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc... WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an... WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours. WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF. WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw... WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ... WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway. WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t... WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi... WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f... WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o... WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t... WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin... WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa... WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou... WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi... WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo... WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving? WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird. WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something. WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job. WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead. WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ... WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi. WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m... WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--... WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab... WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun... WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ... WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g... WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther... WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter... WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre... WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag... WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y... WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare... WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland. WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ. WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews... WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca... WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge... WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says... WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr... WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, [Cloquet... WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective. WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you.... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow... WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth. WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad... WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The... WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants. WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc... WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1 . He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ. WOODY ALLEN